Having two weddings is becoming increasingly common, especially in the age of COVID-19. Couples may opt for a smaller, more intimate ceremony, followed by a larger-scale celebration with friends and family. This trend is known as a sequel wedding. There are many reasons why a couple might choose to have two weddings, including wanting to get married abroad, blending two cultures, or simply wanting to extend the celebrations.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Reasons for having two weddings | Destination wedding, local celebration, international marriage, elopement, honouring different heritages and beliefs, COVID-19 regulations |
Planning considerations | Budget, guest list, attire, wedding party involvement, timing and spacing of ceremonies, suppliers, venue, ceremony type |
Advantages | More opportunities to spend time with guests, ability to incorporate more traditions, prolonged celebrations, no need to "cram" everything into one event |
What You'll Learn
Civil and religious ceremonies
When planning a wedding, couples have the option to choose between a civil or religious ceremony, depending on their preferences and beliefs. A civil ceremony offers more flexibility in terms of location, as it can be held anywhere, including non-traditional venues like beaches, forests, or vintage farms. It also allows couples to have more control over the ceremony, such as writing their own vows, which may not be possible in a religious ceremony. Civil ceremonies are a popular choice for couples who are not religious or do not follow a specific religion.
On the other hand, religious ceremonies are deeply rooted in tradition and symbolism, making them a meaningful choice for couples who hold their faith dearly. These ceremonies usually follow a set structure and may include rituals, scripture readings, and songs that are specific to the religion. While the couple may not have much say over the order of the ceremony or the choice of songs and readings, religious ceremonies are often special and significant to the couple and their families.
In some cases, couples may choose to have two separate wedding ceremonies, such as a civil ceremony followed by a religious one, or vice versa. This can be common in cultures where multiple wedding celebrations are traditional, or when couples come from different religious backgrounds and want to honour both traditions. However, in some religions, such as Catholicism, church law forbids two separate ceremonies to avoid confusion and imply that the first marriage was not "real".
Ultimately, the decision to have a civil or religious ceremony, or even a combination of both, depends on the couple's personal preferences, beliefs, and cultural backgrounds. Each option offers unique advantages and can be tailored to create a meaningful and memorable experience for the couple and their loved ones.
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Destination and local celebrations
Having two weddings is a great way to include all your family and friends, especially if you and your partner are from different countries or have far-flaway families. It is also a way to have a more intimate celebration with your nearest and dearest, followed by a larger reception at a later date.
The first wedding is often more low-key and local, with the legal ceremony taking place at a registry office or local courthouse. This can be followed by a small reception with a handful of guests, perhaps in a private space at a restaurant or a small gathering at home. This is a good option if you want to get the formalities out of the way and have a more relaxed, informal celebration with your partner at a later date.
The second wedding is often the larger celebration, with a bigger guest list and a more lavish reception. This could be a destination wedding in a meaningful location, or simply a larger celebration closer to home. It is a chance to incorporate different traditions, cultures, and religions into the ceremony and reception. For example, you could have a small, legal ceremony in your hometown, followed by a bigger celebration abroad, incorporating local traditions and customs.
Having two weddings allows you to have two distinct visions for your big day. You can plan two completely different events, with unique themes, decor, and atmospheres. This also gives you the opportunity to wear two different wedding outfits and have two sets of wedding photos.
If you're planning two weddings, it's important to be realistic about the workload and budget involved. It can be helpful to use the same suppliers and vendors for both weddings to ensure continuity and make the planning process easier. You should also be prepared to have two separate guest lists, as it may not be feasible for all your guests to attend both celebrations.
Overall, having a destination wedding and a local celebration is a great way to include all your loved ones in your special day and create unique, memorable experiences.
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Two cultures, two weddings
Planning two weddings is no small feat, but it can be a wonderful way to honour both partners' backgrounds and families. Here are some tips for couples who are blending two cultures in their nuptials:
Weigh Your Options
There are several ways to approach a multicultural wedding. You could have two separate weddings to do justice to each culture, like having an Indian ceremony and a traditional Christian ceremony. Alternatively, you can hold both ceremonies on the same day, one after the other, and have a joint reception. Fusing different cultural elements into a unique ceremony is another option. Consider factors like timing, cost, and location when deciding which approach works best for you.
Plan Ahead
If you opt for two separate celebrations, it's advisable to space them out. Hosting them about six months apart can strike a balance between not being too close together and not being so far apart that you're planning both simultaneously (and possibly losing your mind!). Even if you opt for a single event, leave enough time to incorporate elements from both cultures.
Engage Both Cultures
Involving both cultures in your wedding can make guests from both sides feel comfortable and help them learn about each other's traditions. Here are some ideas to engage both cultures:
- Food: Present a fusion of cuisines from both backgrounds at the reception.
- Rituals: Explain the rituals of the ceremony, especially if they are unfamiliar to those outside the culture, to ensure guests don't feel left out.
- Music: Infuse traditional wedding music and dances from both cultures into the reception.
Infuse Your Own Style
While incorporating two cultures, don't forget to add your personal touch as a couple. Include elements that reflect your unique style and tastes, such as your favourite colours or vintage details.
Get Help and Stay Organised
Planning two weddings can be overwhelming, so it's crucial to get help and stay organised. Enlist the support of family members or friends who can assist with the planning and coordination. Create checklists, conduct thorough vendor research, and stay on top of communication to ensure a smooth process.
Keep Things in Perspective
Remember that the most important aspect of your wedding is celebrating your union with the person you love. Don't get too caught up in the competitive nature of wedding planning or the pressure to have the most creative or unique details. Focus on what matters most to you as a couple.
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Intimate first, large second
Having two weddings is becoming increasingly common, especially for couples who want to blend and honour their backgrounds and beliefs. The first wedding is usually more intimate, followed by a larger celebration with family and friends. This format is also a great option for couples who want to get married abroad but also want to celebrate with a wider circle of loved ones at home.
If you're planning to have two weddings, the first one is likely to be a civil ceremony, perhaps at a local courthouse, followed by a bigger, more religious ceremony. You don't have to tell your guests about the civil ceremony if you don't want to.
Planning two weddings is a lot of work, so it's important to be realistic about budgeting and managing your time. You may want to prioritise one wedding over the other, making one more custom and the other less detailed. This will help you feel more relaxed and ensure you're not overwhelmed by decisions.
For the intimate wedding, you can create a guest list with three tiers: Tier 1 is immediate family, Tier 2 is extended family and close friends, and Tier 3 is acquaintances. This will help you limit the number of people and create a more intimate atmosphere.
When it comes to the larger wedding, you can incorporate more traditions, honouring both of your heritages. You can also have two different aesthetics for each wedding, with separate attire that matches the venue and the tone of the celebration.
Having two weddings allows you to prolong the celebrations and create meaningful moments with your guests. It's a great way to ensure that your special day is shared with all your loved ones, near and far.
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Budgeting for two weddings
Determine Your Overall Budget:
Start by deciding on an overall budget that you are comfortable spending on both weddings combined. Be realistic and set a budget that takes into account your financial situation and that of your families, if they are contributing. This will help you save yourself a lot of stress throughout the process.
Prioritize and Allocate Funds:
Break down your overall budget into specific categories such as venue, catering, attire, decorations, etc. Allocate a certain percentage of your budget to each category, giving more weight to the areas that are most important to you. For example, if having a dream venue is a priority, allocate a larger portion of your budget to that.
Consider the Differences:
Think about the differences between your two weddings. For instance, if one wedding is more intimate and the other is larger, you can prioritize spending more on the larger wedding for items such as decorations or catering. This way, you can create a unique experience for each celebration while staying within your overall budget.
Be Smart with Attire:
Instead of wearing your wedding dress or suit twice, consider having two separate outfits that match the style and setting of each wedding. This will not only give you a different look for each event but also help you avoid the cost of renting or buying the same outfit twice.
Choose Your Wedding Party Carefully:
Having the same wedding party for both weddings can add to the expenses, as it involves additional costs for their attire, travel, and accommodation. To reduce costs, you may want to involve your wedding party in just one of the ceremonies or opt for a smaller wedding party for each event.
Manage Guest Lists:
When budgeting for two weddings, it's important to manage your guest lists wisely. Let your friends and family know that they are not obligated to attend both weddings. Send invitations for both events to your immediate family and closest friends, but be understanding if they can only make it to one celebration.
Plan Ahead and Be Flexible:
Start planning early and be flexible with your choices. Research vendors and compare prices, and look for packages that can help you save money. Remember that your plans may need to adapt based on your budget, so be open to making adjustments along the way.
Don't Sacrifice Your Dreams:
While budgeting is essential, don't compromise your dreams. If having two weddings is important to you, find ways to make it work within your financial means. This may involve cutting back on certain expenses or allocating your funds differently to ensure you can celebrate with all your loved ones.
Remember, budgeting for two weddings can be a complex process, and it's unique to each couple. Be honest about your expectations, stay organized, and make decisions that align with your priorities and financial situation.
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Frequently asked questions
There are many reasons why couples opt for two weddings. It could be that you want a destination wedding but don't want to exclude family and friends who can't travel. It could be that you want to get married abroad but the legal requirements are too complicated. Or, it could be that you want to incorporate multiple traditions from different backgrounds.
Planning two weddings can be a lot of work. You'll need to create a distinct vision for both and manage two budgets. You may want to consider different attire for each wedding, and it's a good idea to only involve your wedding party in one of the ceremonies.
It's a good idea to use the same suppliers for both weddings if possible, to give a sense of continuity. You should also allow enough budget for two events and make your own rules—craft a wedding that suits you.