Postponing Your Wedding: Navigating Coronavirus Uncertainty

The COVID-19 pandemic has forced countless couples to postpone or change how they hold their weddings. With restrictions on gatherings, travel, and limited access to public spaces, many couples have had to make the difficult decision to postpone their wedding to a later date. This decision is often informed by factors such as the number of guests, their ability to travel, and the impact of restrictions on the envisioned style of the wedding. Couples also have to consider the financial implications of postponing, including the potential loss of deposits and increased costs associated with changing the date. It is important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all solution, and each couple will need to weigh their options and make the decision that is best for them.

How to postpone without cancelling

Postponing your wedding without cancelling it can be a difficult and stressful experience, but it is possible. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you navigate this challenging situation:

• Contact your wedding insurance company: If you have wedding insurance, review your policy to understand what situations are covered. While wedding insurance may not cover pandemics, it can help with financial losses incurred from cancelling vendors.
• Review your contracts: Read the fine print of your contracts with venues and vendors. Understand the consequences of breaking or postponing your contract, including any fees or deposit forfeitures. Look for clauses that allow you to walk away without penalty under certain circumstances, such as an "act of God."
• Reach out to your venue and vendors: Contact your venue and vendors individually to discuss your situation. Explain your circumstances honestly, recognizing that they are also running a business and may face financial losses due to cancellations. Be prepared to negotiate new dates, fees, and other changes to your contracts.
• Inform your wedding guests: If you have sent out save-the-dates but not invitations, the most appropriate way to inform your guests about postponement is by phone call or online announcement. You don't need to provide detailed explanations unless you want to. If invitations have already been sent, send an online announcement or card notifying your guests of the cancellation or postponement. Remember that many guests may have already made travel arrangements or incurred other expenses.
• Handle other logistics: Don't forget to contact other parties involved in your wedding, such as the store where you ordered your wedding dress or suit. If possible, cancel any blocked-off hotel rooms for your guests, especially if you are postponing rather than cancelling.
• Maintain privacy: Remember that you don't owe anyone an explanation for your decision to postpone or cancel your wedding. Inform your family and friends that you appreciate their support, and share details only when you feel ready.

By following these steps, you can navigate the process of postponing your wedding without cancelling it. It is essential to stay calm, be flexible, and make decisions with confidence during this challenging time.

Communicating with vendors

Once you've made the difficult decision to postpone or cancel your wedding, it's time to communicate this to your vendors. Remember, they are also invested in your event, both emotionally and financially, and the pandemic is likely affecting them beyond your event.

First, make a list of all the vendors involved in your wedding. Review your contracts, paying close attention to the terms for cancelling or postponing. If you need help understanding the terms, ask a lawyer or your family attorney for guidance.

Call your vendors to discuss your options and take notes. Follow up with an email to ensure you're in agreement and that you have a plan in writing. Here are some questions you might ask:

• Are you able to make any amendments to your contract with respect to the current situation?
• Is it possible to postpone services?
• Will you honour the contract and pricing for the new date and transfer the deposit?
• Will current payments be applied towards a future event?
• Have your policies or operating practices changed?

Be prepared that each vendor may be handling the situation differently. Please be understanding and patient; they are likely answering other clients' questions while trying to maintain their own livelihoods.

If you're moving your wedding to a different time of year, it's worth noting that Thursday weddings may be more readily available, giving you a long weekend to celebrate and your vendors more availability than on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

Telling guests about postponement

Telling your guests about your wedding postponement can be difficult, especially if you've had to make a quick decision. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you break the news with empathy and clarity:

Who to Inform and When?

First, consult your family and those closest to you and the wedding planning process. This could be those who have contributed financially or emotionally, or friends involved in planning. Their input will be invaluable as you navigate this challenging time.

Next, make a list of all the guests who need to be informed, and classify them into two groups. Group A should include those closest to you, such as families, dearest friends, and closest relatives. For Group B, include the rest of your guest list. While you'd ideally want everyone to be there, be open to changes, especially for guests travelling from abroad, the elderly, or those with infants.

Choose Your Communication Channels

The fastest way to inform your guests is via a group email and a message on your wedding website. This is essential, especially for elderly guests who may not have access to email. You can also set aside time to call them, which adds a personal touch and allows you to emphasise that the wedding will still take place, and you're eager for them to celebrate with you.

For Group B, you can also use social media platforms like Instagram or Facebook to announce the postponement. Additionally, update your wedding website with new details, FAQs, and any other relevant information for your guests.

Wording and Tone

When informing your guests, it's essential to be clear and empathetic. Here is some wording you can adapt:

> "We wanted to reach out and let you know that we've made the difficult decision to postpone our wedding. This was heartbreaking for us, but not as devastating as the idea of putting our loved ones at risk. A marriage is a commitment between two people, and a wedding is a celebration that can be rescheduled, so that is the path we've chosen."

You can also explain the background of the postponement, especially if it's due to the Coronavirus pandemic, and share how challenging this decision has been for you. Let them know that their health and safety are your top priorities.

Keep Them Excited

While sharing the news, remember to maintain a positive tone and keep your guests excited about the new date. You can say something like:

> "Our wedding will still be going ahead at a later date, which we will inform you of as soon as it's been decided. We hope everyone will be able to celebrate with us then. Until then, please stay safe, and know that we're thinking of you all during this uncertain time."

Practical Details

Provide practical details to help your guests navigate the changes. Update your wedding website with FAQs and information about refunds for travel or accommodation. If you already have a new date, share the new timing, dress code, travel details, and other specifics.

Keep an Open Line of Communication

Remember that your guests might have questions or concerns. Be prepared to answer their queries and provide reassurance. Keep the lines of communication open, and respond to their messages or calls as soon as you can.

Embrace the Change

Finally, try to embrace the change and focus on the positive. It's a challenging time for everyone, but your wedding will still happen, and you will marry the love of your life surrounded by your loved ones.

Postponing your wedding is undoubtedly a difficult decision, but with clear and empathetic communication, your guests will understand, and you can keep them excited about celebrating with you at a later date.

Dealing with changes to vendors

If you've already paid deposits to wedding vendors, it's good to know that these can often be moved to a later date. However, they may not be returned if you cancel. So, it's important to look thoroughly at your vendors' contracts and understand the fine print.

It's also worth noting that vendors may be willing to be flexible with their clients during this time. As the coronavirus situation is affecting everyone, they may be more open to making adjustments.

• Is there a fee to postpone the wedding date?
• Will you honour the contract and pricing for the new date and transfer the deposit?
• Have any of your policies or operating practices changed?
• What are other couples who are near their wedding date doing?

If you want to keep your entire vendor team together, it's a good idea to contact them as soon as possible to discuss your options. Let them know that your goal is to shift the date while keeping the same team. Ask them about their availability for your preferred months and work together to find a solution.

If you're postponing your wedding, it's considerate to let your vendors know as soon as possible. This will give them time to adjust their schedules and accommodate your new date.

> Hi [VENUE/VENDOR NAME],

>

> I hope this email finds you well, and that you and your loved ones are safe during this difficult time. Due to the current situation surrounding the coronavirus, we're concerned about proceeding with our wedding and putting our guests and wedding team (you guys) at risk. We know this situation has been stressful for many, and our thoughts are with you.

>

> Due to the uncertainty of the next few weeks/months, we wanted to reach out and see what our options are for rescheduling our wedding with your team.

>

> (IF UNSURE OF FUTURE DATE PREFERENCE:) Is it possible to postpone the date and reschedule once we've spoken to our guests and other vendors?

>

> (IF YOU HAVE A PREFERENCE ON DATES:) We would appreciate it if you could share your availability for the months of [MONTH], [MONTH], and [MONTH] in [YEAR] and [YEAR].

>

> We look forward to hearing from you soon.

>

> Kind regards,

> [YOUR NAME] and [PARTNER'S NAME]

Managing emotions

It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed with emotions if you are having to postpone your wedding due to coronavirus. It is important to remember that you are not alone in this, and that it is okay to feel sad, stressed, worried, or angry about the situation.

Give Yourself Time to Feel

It is okay to cry and feel disappointed. You have likely put a lot of time, effort, and money into planning your big day, and it is natural to feel upset about having to postpone. Lean on your support network of friends and family, and try to find other brides online who are going through the same thing.

Take a Step Back

Try to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. You and your partner are healthy, and you will still get married, even if it is not when you originally planned. Focus on the fact that you have found each other and will be spending your lives together.

Focus on the Positives

While it is okay to feel sad, try to focus on the positives of the situation. For example, you now have more time to plan and prepare for your wedding. Is there something fun you wanted to do but didn't have time to plan before? Maybe you want to perform a dance together or screen a movie about the two of you at the wedding. Now you have the opportunity to get super creative and make the day even more special.

Communicate

Be open and honest with your partner about how you are feeling, and ask them to do the same. It is important to support each other and understand that you may have different reactions to the situation. If you are feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a professional therapist for support.

Be Proactive

While it may feel like things are out of your control, try to focus on the things you can control. Make a plan for your wedding and consider your options. For example, you could change the date to later in the year or next year, change the style of your wedding to a smaller event, or have two weddings—one smaller event and one larger event later. Reach out to your vendors and guests to discuss your options and lock in a new date if you decide to postpone.

Frequently asked questions