A Wedding Without Legal Marriage: Is It Possible?

There are various reasons why a couple might choose to have a wedding ceremony without legally marrying. In some cases, it may be due to a partner's previous negative experiences with marriage, such as multiple divorces. Other reasons include financial disadvantages, personal beliefs, or the inconvenience and complications of a legal marriage, especially in a different country or state. Some couples may also opt for a non-legally binding ceremony to avoid financial ties or to ensure they cannot be prosecuted for bigamy. However, it is essential to understand the legal implications, as non-legally binding ceremonies can leave individuals financially vulnerable in the event of a partner's death or relationship dissolution.

Commitment ceremonies

A commitment ceremony is a way for a couple to publicly express their commitment to one another without technically getting married. It is not a legally binding ceremony, and the couple's marital status will not change. Commitment ceremonies are often chosen by couples who don't feel that a traditional marriage suits their needs, or who live in a place that does not allow them to get legally married.

Because commitment ceremonies are not legally binding, they are more flexible in nature. The location doesn't need to be licensed, and the ceremony can be held anywhere, from a council building to a beach, boat or castle. The couple can also choose to have no officiant and guide the ceremony themselves.

There are many reasons why a couple might choose to have a commitment ceremony instead of a legal wedding. Some couples don't like the concept of marriage or feel it doesn't effectively describe their type of union. Others may not want to be legally married for tax or financial reasons, or because of negative experiences with previous marriages. Commitment ceremonies also allow couples to avoid the red tape and restrictions that can come with legal ceremonies, such as specific wording or instructions, or the requirement for officiants or witnesses.

If you're considering a commitment ceremony, you can plan it in a similar way to a typical wedding or elopement ceremony. Start by deciding on the location and time of year, and whether or not to invite guests. Then, hire any vendors you may need, such as a photographer, videographer, florist, or hair and makeup artists. Finally, finalise the details for your special day and enjoy the celebration of your commitment!

Civil ceremonies

A civil ceremony is a wedding ceremony performed by a government official that is not affiliated with any organised religion. In some states, it is also possible to have a friend or family member officiate.

In the US, the requirements for a civil ceremony vary by state. For example, in California, a civil ceremony requires a marriage license, which is valid for 90 days, and a ceremony officiated by someone authorised to solemnise marriages. In Texas, there is a 72-hour waiting period after obtaining a marriage license, and the ceremony must be performed by an officiant. In Illinois, there is no need to get ordained to marry people. In Colorado, witnesses or an officiant are not required, and couples can self-solemnise.

While a civil ceremony is a legally binding way to get married, some couples choose to have a commitment ceremony, which is not legally binding. This might be because their partnership is not legally recognised, or for financial or personal reasons. A commitment ceremony can look the same as a legally binding wedding, but the couple does not go off to sign paperwork to make the marriage legal.

Common-law marriage

A common-law marriage is a legal marriage that does not require a formal ceremony, a marriage license, or a marriage certificate. In other words, it is a marriage that results from the couple's agreement to consider themselves married, followed by cohabitation. Common-law marriages are recognised in some jurisdictions but not in others.

In the US, common-law marriages are recognised in Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Rhode Island, Texas, Utah, Oklahoma, and the District of Columbia. Nine other states recognise common-law marriage with some restrictions.

To be considered a common-law marriage, a couple must meet certain requirements. These include:

• Living together for a period of time (there is no statutory requirement for how long)
• Both partners must have the legal right to marry (e.g. be at least 18 years old and of sound mind, and not already married)
• Both partners must intend to be married
• Both partners must hold themselves out to friends, family, and the public as being married (e.g. by referring to each other as "spouse", taking the same last name, or holding joint bank accounts)

A common-law marriage that meets these requirements is just as valid and legally binding as a formalised marriage. This means that a couple in a common-law marriage will have the same rights as a married couple who went through a formal marriage process.

Elopement

Location

Guest List

Vendors

Vendors are an essential part of the elopement experience. A photographer is key to capturing the essence of the ceremony and the "First Look."

Budget

Legal Recognition

It is important to ensure that the marriage is legally recognized, unless the couple prefers a spiritual union. This involves researching the legal requirements, location permissions, and guidelines of the state or country where the elopement will take place.

Timing and Travel

Adventurous or jet-setting couples may opt for a destination elopement, choosing a location that holds special meaning for them. It is recommended to book travel early to save money and relieve stress.

Involving Family and Friends

While elopements are typically done without the knowledge of family and friends, it is possible to include them in various ways. Couples can choose to involve their loved ones in certain parts of the elopement experience, such as getting ready together or celebrating afterward. They can also include family and friends virtually through video calls or by sharing letters to be read on the elopement day.

Post-Elopement Celebrations

After the elopement, it is important to be prepared for the reactions of family and friends who may be disappointed they were not included. It is recommended to tell parents beforehand to minimize hurt feelings. Couples can also find ways to involve their closest friends and family, such as sharing photos or hosting a post-marriage reception or dinner.

In conclusion, elopements offer a unique and customizable way for couples to get married, focusing on their commitment to each other without the financial and social pressures of a traditional wedding.

'Just make it legal' ceremony

A "just make it legal" ceremony is a great option for couples who want to get married without a wedding. This type of marriage service is also known as a 'sign and go' or 'signing only' ceremony. While it does involve some legal requirements, it allows couples to skip the traditional ceremony and choose a quick, straightforward, and simple way to get married.

Here's what you need to do for a "just make it legal" ceremony:

Apply for a Marriage License:

The first step is to obtain a marriage license from the relevant government office, usually the courthouse. This is a necessary document that authorizes your marriage and must be obtained before the ceremony.

Find an Authorized Officiant:

The next step is to locate an authorized officiant to perform the ceremony. This can be a government official, such as a judge, or in some states, you may even have a friend or family member officiate the wedding.

Exchange Declarations of Intent:

During the ceremony, you and your partner will need to express your present tense intent to be married in front of the officiant and any required witnesses. This is often done through the exchange of vows, where you publicly declare your commitment to each other.

Sign the License:

After the ceremony, the officiant will sign your marriage license, officially recognizing your union.

Return the Completed License:

Finally, you will need to return the signed and completed marriage license to the appropriate office. This step ensures that your marriage is legally recognized and registered.

A "just make it legal" ceremony is perfect for couples who want a no-frills approach to getting married. It allows you to focus on the legal aspect of the marriage without the fuss of a traditional wedding. This option provides flexibility and convenience, especially if you want to get married quickly, secretly, or in a location that may have restrictive marriage laws.

It's important to note that while this type of ceremony is legally binding, it may not include all the traditional elements of a wedding, such as exchanging rings or having a reception. However, you can always choose to incorporate additional elements that are meaningful to you and your partner.

Additionally, be aware that the specific requirements for a "just make it legal" ceremony may vary slightly depending on your location. Be sure to check the marriage laws in your state or country to ensure you meet all the necessary legal requirements.

Frequently asked questions