Who Can Give A Wedding Toast?

Wedding toasts are a time-honoured tradition and an opportunity for friends and family to express their joy as they send off the newlyweds into their new life together. While traditionally, only certain people give toasts, the rules are more flexible these days. So, can guests or family members give toasts at a wedding reception?

Who can give a wedding toast?

A wedding toast is an opportunity for friends and family to express their joy for the newlyweds as they embark on their life together. It is also a time for the couple to thank their guests for sharing their special day. While anyone can give a toast at the rehearsal dinner, a wedding reception calls for more structure.

Who Traditionally Gives Wedding Toasts?

• The best man
• The maid/matron/man of honour
• The father of the bride
• The groom
• The bride
• The parents or family members of the bride and groom

Who Else Can Give a Wedding Toast?

If you are not having a wedding party, you can ask a close friend to share a few words. If someone else contributed significantly to paying for the wedding, you may also ask them if they would like to give a toast.

When should wedding toasts be given?

Wedding toasts are traditionally given after dinner, marking the end of the more formal part of the evening and welcoming the party. However, they can also be incorporated into dinner to save time and get two wedding elements done simultaneously.

The first toast is customarily made by the best man, followed by the maid of honour. The groom, bride, or the two together may then toast each other, and then raise a glass to the wedding party and guests to thank them for sharing their special day. The bride and groom are followed by their parents. If the bride's parents are hosting the wedding, they speak first, toasting the newlyweds and the groom's parents, and welcoming the guests. If the groom's parents are speaking, they should do so following the bride's parents. For same-sex weddings, it is up to the couple to decide whose parents should kick off the evening.

Toasts should be given in advance of the cake-cutting ceremony, but this is not always the case. Toasts can also be given before or after the first course is served, or after the main course has been eaten. If toasts are offered after the first course, the cake-cutting ceremony should be delayed until after the guests have completed their main course.

The best man is normally the master of ceremonies at a wedding reception, so the toasts start with him. If the best man is not up to the task, then the couple can choose someone else to be given this role.

The wedding host/person paying the most for the wedding (traditionally the father of the bride) toasts the couple. Other parental figures of the couple may also toast the newlyweds.

The couple then toasts their family and guests. This is phrased as a thank you to the guests for coming and sharing the day with them. The couple may also thank whoever paid for the wedding.

How to plan a wedding toast

Planning a wedding toast can be a daunting task, but with the right preparation, it can be a memorable and cherished part of the reception. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to plan a wedding toast:

Choose the Right People:

Select a small group of individuals to give toasts, usually consisting of close family members and friends of the couple. Traditionally, this includes the parents of the bride and groom, the best man, and the maid of honour. However, the couple may also choose to include other special guests or friends who hold a significant place in their lives.

Provide Advance Notice:

Give your speakers ample time to prepare, preferably a few months in advance. This will allow them to craft their speeches, gather their thoughts, and perfect what they want to say. It also gives you the flexibility to find alternative speakers if someone is unable to participate.

Determine the Order of Toasts:

The order of toasts is important to ensure a smooth flow during the reception. Typically, the hosts of the evening, usually the parents of the bride, kick things off with a welcome message and a toast to the couple. This is followed by the parents of the groom, if they choose to speak. Then, the best man and maid of honour offer their toasts before handing the microphone to the newlyweds.

Space Out the Toasts:

Consider staggering the speeches throughout the reception to maintain energy and flow. Splitting them into two sections or having some toasts at the rehearsal dinner can help keep the actual reception focused and smooth.

Set a Time Limit:

Keep wedding toasts concise and engaging. The ideal length is between three to five minutes. This gives enough time to share a story, convey sentiments, and offer well-wishes without losing the attention of the guests.

Provide a Clear Structure:

A good wedding toast should have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Here is a suggested structure:

• Congratulate the newlyweds.
• Open with a statement or question, using humour if it suits your style.
• Introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the couple.
• Share a meaningful, heartfelt story or anecdote.
• Directly address both partners.
• Raise your glass and offer parting well-wishes.

Content and Tone:

When writing your wedding toast, focus on the couple's journey and their bond. Share poignant or light-hearted stories that highlight their connection. Avoid negative details, past relationships, or embarrassing tales. Keep the content light, delicate, and focused on the present and future. If you wish to include humour, ensure it is natural and accessible to all guests.

Practice and Prepare:

While you don't need to memorise your speech, it is essential to practise reciting it. This will help you feel more comfortable and confident when delivering your toast. Jot down key points to guide you and ensure you cover all the important elements without rambling.

Raise Your Glass:

Don't forget the actual toast! Ask everyone to raise their glasses and join you in toasting the couple. This is a group effort and a wonderful way to conclude your speech.

What to include in a wedding toast

Wedding toasts are an opportunity for friends and family to express their joy as the newlyweds embark on their life together. A good wedding toast is simple, charming, and sentimental. It should be sincere, focusing on the couple's journey, expressing admiration for them, and offering meaningful wishes for their future. Here are some tips on what to include in your wedding toast:

Congratulate the Newlyweds

Begin by congratulating the newlyweds and wishing them a happy future. You can open with a statement or question and use humour if it feels right.

Introduce Yourself

Let everyone know who you are and your relationship to the couple. This is especially important if you are not a close family member or part of the wedding party.

Share a Meaningful, Heartfelt Story

Share a story or message that is simple and sincere. Focus on poignant or light stories about the couple's bond and how you knew they were right for each other. Avoid any negative details, exes, or embarrassing stories. Make sure your story is one that everyone can appreciate and relate to.

Directly Address Both Partners

Regardless of who you are closest with, address both the bride and the groom. This shows that you are cheering on both parties as they step into this new phase of life together.

Raise Your Glass and Pass on Well-Wishes

End your toast by raising your glass and offering your parting wishes for the couple. This is also the time to take a sip of your drink!

Remember to keep your wedding toast concise, ideally between three to five minutes. Practise beforehand, and try to make a sincere and authentic connection with the couple and the audience.

How long should a wedding toast be?

Wedding toasts are an opportunity for friends and family to express their joy and well wishes for the newlyweds. While there is room for improvisation, it is important to keep the toasts concise and well-structured to hold guests' attention and ensure the event flows smoothly.

A good rule of thumb is to keep the wedding toast between three to five minutes long. This allows enough time to share a story, express admiration for the couple, and offer meaningful wishes for their future. Anything shorter may feel incomplete, while a longer speech may cause guests to lose interest, especially if there are multiple speakers.

To stay within the time limit, it is recommended to prepare and practice the speech beforehand. A wedding toast should ideally have a clear beginning, middle, and end, following a basic template:

• Congratulate the newlyweds.
• Open with a statement or question (humour is optional).
• Introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the couple.
• Share a meaningful, heartfelt story about the couple.
• Directly address both partners.
• Raise your glass and offer parting well-wishes.

By following this structure and keeping within the suggested time frame, the wedding toast will feel thoughtful, well-prepared, and contribute to the overall sophistication of the celebration.

Frequently asked questions