The Legalities Of Love: Understanding Wedding Registration

Registering a wedding involves creating a wedding registry, which is a list of gifts that the couple would like to receive for their wedding. Wedding registries are typically provided as a service by a website or retail store. The couple lists their desired items, and the list is made available to wedding guests. The registry helps to communicate gift preferences to wedding guests and prevents the couple from receiving duplicate or unwanted gifts. While traditional wedding registries include household items such as dishes and linens, modern registries may also include non-traditional items such as electronics, honeymoon funds, or charitable donations.

Wedding registry history

Wedding registries, or bridal registries, have a long history, with ceremonial gifting at weddings dating back to ancient Greece. In the past, wedding gifts were given to the bride's family by the groom's family, as part of a transaction for the "exchange" of the bride for marriage.

The first wedding registry as we know it today was created in 1924 by the Chicago-based department store Marshall Field's (now Macy's). This new service allowed couples to indicate their preferences for china, silver, and crystal patterns to friends and family, who would then purchase these items as wedding gifts.

The practice of creating a wedding registry quickly became popular, with many other department and specialty stores following suit. Creating a registry became a rite of passage for couples, who would select a range of homeware items with the help of a registry specialist.

The invention of the barcode brought even more simplicity to the process, and the turn of the 21st century brought further evolution with the introduction of specialised registries for honeymoons, babies, and houses, as well as universal registries that allowed couples to aggregate items from multiple stores onto a single list.

Gift ideas

A wedding registry is a curated list of presents an engaged couple creates to make the gifting process easier for their guests. The list is usually tied to both in-store and virtual retailers and should include a mix of gifts at different price points.

Kitchen and Dining

• Cookware (non-stick skillets, saucepans, pasta pots, sauté pans, casserole dishes, roasting pans, baking sheets, etc.)
• Bakeware (roasting pans, casserole dishes, baking sheets, loaf pans, muffin tins, etc.)
• Knives (serrated knife, paring knife, chef’s knife, steak knives, etc.)
• Salt and pepper mills
• Specialty appliances (Instant Pots, air fryers, coffee and espresso machines, blenders, etc.)
• Barware (muddler, cocktail shaker, jigger, bar spoon, Hawthorne strainer, etc.)
• Motion-sensor garbage bin
• Everyday dishware (dinner plates, dessert/salad plates, bowls, etc.)
• Everyday drinking glasses
• Flatware
• Wine glasses (red and white)
• Salad bowl and serving utensils
• Serving bowls, platters, and trays
• Pitchers (for coffee or water)
• Cheese and charcuterie boards
• Specialty glassware (margarita glasses, martini glasses, rocks glasses, etc.)
• High-quality game sets (chess, mahjong) and playing cards

Linens

• Bed sheets (everyday and flannel/cold-weather)
• Bath towels, hand towels, and washcloths
• Placemats
• Linen napkins
• Silk pillowcases and sleeping masks
• Makeup removal towels
• Fast-drying hair towels

Home and Decor

• Candles and candlesticks
• Storage and organizing essentials (baskets, bins, makeup holders, etc.)
• Gift cards to home improvement stores
• Firepits and patio heat lamps
• Indoor plants and pots
• Cash funds towards original artwork
• Gift cards for custom framing services
• Home office essentials (desk accessories, task lamps, computer monitor)

Other Ideas

• Personalized stationery
• Camping equipment (tents, sleeping bags, camp chairs, etc.)
• Sporting equipment (paddleboards, kayaks, skis, etc.)
• At-home workout equipment
• Meal service subscriptions
• News and magazine subscriptions
• Eco-friendly cleaning subscriptions
• Portable coffee mugs and insulated tumblers
• Luggage
• Vacuum cleaners

Timing

The timing of registering a wedding is important to ensure that you receive gifts you truly want and need, and to make the gift-giving process easier for your guests. Here are some key points to consider regarding the timing of your wedding registry:

Start Early

It is recommended to start your wedding registry as early as possible, ideally soon after getting engaged. This allows your loved ones to send you congratulations gifts if they wish to. It also helps them shop for pre-wedding events such as an engagement party or couple's shower. By setting up your registry early, you can avoid receiving duplicate gifts or items that you already have or do not need.

Engagement Party

If you plan on having an engagement party, it is a good idea to set up your wedding registry a few weeks before the event. This gives your guests a chance to purchase gifts for you and your fiancé. However, you don't need to have a completed or large registry at this stage. Start with enough items to cover the number of guests invited to the engagement party, and remember that you can always update and add to your registry later.

Bridal Shower or Couple's Shower

Your wedding registry should be created and available on your wedding website when the invitations for these events are sent out. Most guests who attend these pre-wedding events will opt to shop from your registry, so make sure to include gifts at a variety of price points, especially on the lower end.

Save-the-Dates and Invitations

Many couples prefer to have their registry completed before sending out their save-the-dates, which should go out at least six months before the wedding. Include your wedding website on your save-the-dates, and make sure your website has a link to your registry. If you haven't created a registry by the time you send out your invitations, this is the absolute latest deadline to do so. Guests purchase gifts at different times, so having your registry ready will ensure they have options to choose from.

Updating Your Registry

Remember that creating your wedding registry is an ongoing process. You should update and add to your registry as the wedding day approaches, especially two weeks before and two weeks after the wedding, as this is when most gifts are typically purchased.

Communication

Communicating the Registry to Guests

It is considered impolite to include registry information directly on a wedding invitation. Instead, it is recommended to provide this information on a wedding website, with a link to the website included on the invitations. This allows guests to easily access the information and choose a gift that aligns with the couple's wishes.

Timing of Communication

Wedding etiquette suggests that registering within two to three weeks of the engagement is ideal, especially if there will be an engagement party. This allows family and friends who want to send early congratulations gifts to do so. It is also advisable to have the registry finalised three to six months before the wedding to give guests ample time to purchase gifts.

Communicating Gift Preferences

When creating a registry, couples should consider their unique needs and preferences. It is important to include a variety of gifts that cater to different budgets. This can include a mix of traditional household items, experiences, charitable donations, and even contributions to a honeymoon or new home. Communicating a range of options ensures guests have plenty of choices and can select something meaningful.

Communicating with Retailers

It is recommended to register with two to three different retailers, including a mix of large stores and local boutiques. Couples should review the perks offered by each retailer, such as return policies, completion programs, and experience funds. By communicating their wishes clearly with the retailers, couples can take advantage of these benefits and make the gift-giving process smoother for their guests.

Communicating Gratitude

Lastly, it is important to promptly send thank-you notes to guests who purchase gifts from the registry. While it is ideal to send these notes as soon as gifts are received, it is acceptable to send them within two weeks or up to three months after the wedding. Expressing gratitude in a timely manner is an important aspect of the gift-giving communication process.

Thank-you notes

Writing and sending thank-you notes is an important part of wedding gift registry etiquette. It is recommended that you acknowledge every gift as soon as it is received, with a handwritten note being the best way to express your gratitude. Sending a thank-you note within two weeks of receiving a gift is considered acceptable, but if you can, aim to send them out as soon as possible. The period surrounding your wedding is likely to be a busy time, so don't worry if you fall behind—just make sure you send a thank-you card no later than three months after your wedding.

It is also a good idea to review your registry regularly to keep track of gift purchases and make writing thank-you notes easier. Some registries will automatically notify you when a gift has been purchased, but if yours doesn't, try to review your list every few weeks, and more frequently as your wedding day approaches.

Remember that attendance at your wedding does not require a gift, but it is generally expected. Most guests will send a gift within a month of your wedding, bring it to your wedding reception, or send it within a month after the event. According to wedding registry etiquette, your family and friends have up to a year to send a gift, but it is rare for anyone to wait that long.

Frequently asked questions