A Wedding After Eloping: How To Celebrate Twice

Eloping and then having a wedding celebration later is becoming an increasingly popular option for couples. This option can be particularly appealing if you want to get legally married quickly, without a long wait or big fuss, but still want to celebrate with friends and family at a later date.

There are many reasons why couples choose to elope first and party later. For example, you might want to get married for reasons related to immigration, insurance, or military deployment. Or perhaps you just want to move on with your life and not wait years for your dream wedding.

If you elope first, you can then plan a bigger wedding celebration for a later date when large gatherings are safer. This option gives you the best of both worlds: an intimate celebration followed by a big party. It can also be a more relaxed way to get married, as you can take your time with photos and writing your own vows, without the pressure of a big guest list.

However, some couples worry that a wedding celebration after eloping won't feel as special. There may also be confusion about what to call the event, as technically you are already married. Some couples choose to renew their vows, while others simply have a big party without a ceremony.

Extending the celebrations

Eloping is a great option for couples who want to get married without the stress of planning a large wedding. However, that doesn't mean you have to miss out on the celebrations! Many couples choose to elope and then have a bigger wedding reception or party at a later date. This option gives you the best of both worlds: an intimate elopement ceremony and a fun celebration with all your friends and family.

If you're thinking of extending the celebrations after eloping, here are some things to keep in mind:

• Be flexible with the timeline: There is no set timeline for when you should have your post-elopement party. You can hold it a year later, on your 5-year anniversary, or whenever you want! The important thing is to do what feels right for you and your partner.
• Involve your loved ones: Consider finding ways to involve your closest friends and family in your celebrations, whether it's by sharing photos with them, having a post-marriage reception, or hosting a dinner party to announce your elopement. This can help minimize hurt feelings and surprises, especially if your loved ones feel left out of the initial elopement.
• Announce your elopement creatively: When announcing your elopement, consider using creative wording on your invitations or announcements. Instead of a traditional wedding invitation, you might say, "Invite you to a celebration in honour of their marriage." This makes it clear that you've already tied the knot and that the event is a party, not a wedding ceremony.
• Choose your attire wisely: For your post-elopement party, you might want to wear something other than a traditional bridal gown. Consider a more casual dress in white or any other colour or pattern you love. A ball gown, for example, might feel out of place at a celebration without a vow exchange.
• Be mindful of gift-giving: Be cautious with your wedding registry if you choose to have one. Keep it small and don't publicize it unless asked, to avoid upsetting friends or family members who may feel that a post-elopement party is just a way to get gifts. If you do receive a gift, be sure to write a thoughtful thank-you note.
• Make it a true celebration: Your post-elopement party is a chance to let loose and have fun with your loved ones. Since you've already taken care of the legal and ceremonial aspects of your wedding, you can focus on enjoying the moment, celebrating your love, and creating new memories with your friends and family.

Remember, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to weddings and elopements. You can make your celebrations unique and personalised to you and your partner. Whether you choose to elope and have a small celebration or go all out with a big wedding, the most important thing is that you're happy and surrounded by love.

Planning a second ceremony

If you're planning a second ceremony after eloping, here are some things to keep in mind:

Be mindful of your guests' feelings

Some guests may feel hurt that they weren't included in the initial elopement, so it's important to handle this situation sensitively. Consider sending out "save the date" notices for the second ceremony, or even a small destination celebration, as a way to announce your elopement and invite guests to the upcoming event. This way, they don't feel excluded from the celebrations.

Choose your wording carefully

When it comes to invitations, be mindful of your wording. Avoid using the word "wedding" if you're not recreating a ceremony with your guests. Instead, use phrases like "celebrate the marriage of..." or "in honour of their marriage". This sets the right expectations and avoids any confusion or disappointment.

Dress code

For the second ceremony, the bride doesn't have to wear a traditional bridal gown, but if she chooses to, a more casual dress is recommended. A ball gown, for example, may not be well-received at an elopement celebration without a vow exchange. The groom can also opt for a more relaxed outfit, steering away from the typical suit and tie.

Manage expectations regarding gifts

There is often a perception that post-elopement celebrations are just an excuse to receive gifts. To navigate this, keep any wedding registry small and don't publicise it unless asked. If you do receive gifts, be sure to send thoughtful thank-you notes to express your gratitude.

Make your appreciation known

As some guests may still feel hurt about not witnessing the initial vows, it's important to express your appreciation for their presence and support. A toast or speech is a great way to do this, allowing you to emphasise how much their attendance means to you.

Timing

There is no set timeline for when to hold the second ceremony. You can choose to have it soon after the elopement or wait until a later date, such as your anniversary. The key is to do what feels right for you and your partner.

Be flexible

Remember, there are no rules when it comes to weddings. Your elopement can be as intimate or elaborate as you like, and the same goes for the second ceremony. You can recreate the initial ceremony or simply have a celebration without the formalities. It's all about creating an experience that reflects your relationship and values.

Choosing a location

Elopement Location

• Courthouse wedding: A popular choice for elopements is to get married at a courthouse. This option is relatively inexpensive and straightforward, as you can obtain a marriage license and get married in the same place. However, it may require an appointment, so it doesn't allow for complete spontaneity.
• Destination elopement: If you're looking for a more adventurous or exotic option, consider a destination elopement. Choose a place that holds special meaning for you and your partner or a location that simply speaks to you. Whether it's a far-flung international destination or a nearby domestic spot, the choice is yours. Just remember to research the legal requirements and guidelines for getting married in your chosen location.

Post-Elopement Party Location

• Private room in a restaurant: Consider renting a private room in a restaurant to celebrate with your close friends and family. This option allows you to have an intimate gathering in a nice setting without the need for a full-scale wedding reception.
• Your home or backyard: If you're looking for a more low-key and casual option, hosting the party at your home or in your backyard can be a great choice. This is especially suitable if you want a small gathering with just your closest loved ones.
• Original wedding venue: If you had already booked a venue for your original wedding plans, you can consider using the same venue for your post-elopement party. This option may be convenient if you had your heart set on a particular location and want to celebrate with a larger group.
• Outdoor locations: Outdoor spaces such as parks, beaches, or gardens can provide a beautiful backdrop for your post-elopement party. These locations often offer flexibility in terms of guest count and can be easily decorated to create a unique and memorable celebration.

Deciding on attire

For those who want to steer away from tradition, you could even wear a bird's cage veil instead of a long, flowy one, or opt for a suit rather than a dress. There are no rules, so get creative and choose an outfit that reflects your personality and style.

If you're the partner of the bride or groom, you might want to consider a suit or smart casual attire. But again, there's no need to stick to tradition – feel free to express your unique sense of style.

Remember, this celebration is about you and your love. So, whether you choose to wear your wedding outfit again or pick something new, make sure you feel comfortable and confident. It's your day to shine and enjoy every moment.

Informing family and friends

Eloping is a great option for couples who want to avoid the stress of planning a large wedding or who want to get married without waiting for a future date. However, one of the most difficult parts of eloping is informing your family and friends, who may feel disappointed that they were not a part of your big day. Here are some tips on how to navigate this situation:

Be Prepared for Their Reactions

It is important to understand that not everyone will support your decision to elope. Friends and family members may feel hurt or left out, especially if they were not informed beforehand. Be prepared for their reactions and try to be understanding of their feelings.

Tell Your Parents First

Consider sharing your plans with your parents before you elope to minimise hurt feelings and surprises. This can help soften the blow and make them feel included in your special day.

Involve Your Closest Friends and Family

Find ways to involve your closest friends and family in your elopement. For example, you can share photos with them, host a post-marriage reception, or have a dinner party to announce your marriage. This can help them feel like they are still a part of your celebration.

Avoid a Social Media Announcement

It is generally not a good idea to announce your elopement to your closest friends and family via social media. Instead, take the time to tell them in person. This shows that you value their presence in your life and want to share this news with them directly.

Send a Wedding Announcement

After you're happily married, send a formal marriage announcement to the local paper and your loved ones. This can be a great way to share your news and let everyone know about your elopement. You can even include a photo from your special day!

Host a Post-Elopement Celebration

If you want to include your friends and family in your celebration, consider hosting a post-elopement party or reception. This can be a great opportunity to gather your loved ones and share your happiness with them. Be mindful of the invitation wording, as some guests may feel duped if they think they are attending a "real" wedding. Instead, use phrases like "celebrate the marriage of" or "in honour of their marriage".

Frequently asked questions