Pre-Wedding Rituals: Seeing Each Other Before The Big Day

There are many traditions and superstitions associated with weddings, and one of the most well-known is that it is bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony. This belief dates back to the time when marriages were often arranged and seeing each other beforehand was considered unlucky. The fear was that if the couple met before the wedding, the groom might find the bride unattractive and call off the marriage, bringing shame to the bride's family. Nowadays, this superstition is less commonly followed, and many couples choose to have a first look before the ceremony. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to see each other the day before the wedding is a personal one for the couple to make.

It's considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding

The superstition that it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding dates back to when marriages were arranged. In this context, the bride's parents would strike a deal with the groom's family, often for business purposes. The bride's father would usually make the deal, hoping to marry his daughter to a wealthy suitor to benefit his family.

Parents of the bride would worry that if the groom saw the bride before the ceremony, he might not find her attractive and could call off the wedding. This would cause serious shame for the bride and her family, damaging their reputation. To avoid this risk, the tradition of the couple not seeing each other until the ceremony was born. The bride's face would be covered with a veil as she walked down the aisle, only revealing herself at the last moment, when it was too late for the groom to back out.

Nowadays, this superstition is considered outdated, and many couples choose to see each other before the ceremony with a 'first look' moment. However, some couples still choose to stick to this tradition to save the special moment of seeing each other for the actual wedding ceremony. Ultimately, whether or not the couple sees each other before the wedding is a personal choice.

The bride's veil was to prevent the groom from seeing her until the last moment

In the past, it was considered bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding ceremony. This superstition dates back to when marriages were typically arranged. The couple's parents would negotiate the match, often as a business deal, and the bride's father would usually be the one to broker the deal.

The groom's parents would worry that if their son saw the bride before the ceremony, he might not find her attractive, and so refuse to go through with the wedding. This would cause serious shame for the bride and her family, and damage the family's reputation. So, the tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other until the ceremony emerged, with the bride's veil ensuring the groom couldn't see her face until the very last moment, when it was too late to change his mind.

The veil also had other symbolic meanings. In some cultures, it was believed that a veil protected the bride from evil spirits. In others, it was a symbol of the bride's virginity, purity, and modesty. In Jewish culture, the groom covers the bride's face with her veil during the Bedeken ceremony, to ensure he is marrying the right person. This tradition stems from the Biblical story of Jacob, who was tricked into marrying Leah, when he believed he was marrying Rachel.

Nowadays, the superstition around the bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding has largely been debunked, with many couples choosing to meet before the ceremony for a 'first look'. However, some couples still choose to stick to the tradition, saving that special moment of seeing each other for the actual wedding ceremony.

The couple may opt for a first look before the wedding

There are several benefits to doing a first look. It can help ease pre-wedding nerves as it allows couples to spend some quiet time together and ground themselves before the ceremony. It also frees up more time in the schedule, as the couple can take the bulk of their portraits before the ceremony and actually attend and enjoy cocktail hour with their guests. The first look also guarantees that couples can get their portraits taken during daylight, especially for winter weddings.

Additionally, the first look can be a very emotional and intimate moment that is captured on camera. The photographer can get raw, candid shots of the couple's emotions without any obstructions. The couple can also be creative with their first look, such as reading letters to each other or having a first look without the veil to still keep an element of surprise for the ceremony.

However, there are also some potential downsides to consider. For superstitious or traditional couples, a first look might not be preferable as it breaks with the longstanding ritual of not seeing each other before walking down the aisle. It may also interfere with the intensity and suspense of the moment, as the couple won't be apart for as long. Furthermore, the first look requires the couple to get ready earlier in the day and the lighting may not be ideal for photographs, as it often happens in the early afternoon or middle of the day.

The couple may choose to spend the day/night before the wedding together

Spending time together on the day or night before the wedding is a completely personal decision for the couple to make. Many modern couples choose to spend the night before the wedding together, and some even opt to get ready together on the morning of the wedding. This can be a more personal and special moment for the couple, and it can also be a practical way to ensure that everything is ready for the big day.

If a couple decides to spend the day or night before the wedding together, there are a few things they may want to consider. For example, they may want to wake up together and then spend the morning apart while they get ready with their wedding party. They could also choose to do a "first look" before the ceremony, where they see each other for the first time in their wedding attire. This can be a special moment for the couple and can also allow them to take formal pictures before the ceremony when everyone is freshly dressed and ready.

Alternatively, if a couple wants to stick to tradition and not see each other before the ceremony, there are still ways they can interact and connect on the morning of the wedding. They could, for example, meet up and stand back-to-back, allowing them to talk and calm each other's nerves without seeing each other. They could also choose to embrace with one partner wearing a blindfold or keeping their eyes closed. Exchanging video messages or letters and gifts can also be a way for the couple to feel connected without physically seeing each other.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to spend the day or night before the wedding together is a personal one, and there are no hard and fast rules. Couples should do what feels right for them and their relationship.

The couple may interact without seeing each other on the day of the wedding

The superstition that the bride and groom should not see each other before the wedding dates back to when marriages were arranged. It was believed that if the couple met before the wedding, the groom might find the bride unattractive and call off the wedding, which was considered a business deal between families. The veil was also used to prevent the groom from seeing the bride's face until the last moment, when it was too late to back out.

Today, many couples choose to do a "first look" before the ceremony, while others still prefer to save that special moment for the actual wedding. Ultimately, the decision to see each other or not is a personal choice and there are no hard and fast rules.

If you want to stick to tradition and not see each other before the wedding, there are still ways for the couple to interact on the day of the wedding without physically seeing each other. Here are some alternatives:

• Take Photos Back-to-Back: Coordinate with your wedding party members and photographer to find a time and place to meet before the ceremony and position yourselves back-to-back. This way, you can talk, calm each other's nerves, and share your excitement for the big moment without laying eyes on each other.
• Blindfold and Hold Hands: If you crave physical touch before exchanging vows, put on a blindfold or keep your eyes closed and embrace your partner for a "first touch." Being in their presence, even with your eyes closed, can be a special and intimate moment.
• Record a Video Message: Send a video to your partner if you don't want to physically see each other. Record it on the day of or a few days prior as a modern alternative to writing a letter. Share your excitement, your love, and your joy for spending the rest of your lives together.
• Write a Note and Give a Gift: Write a heartfelt note to your partner and give them a gift to open on the day of the wedding. In your note, reflect on your relationship, share inside jokes, and express what moment you're most looking forward to. Be sure to read it before applying any makeup in case it brings tears of joy!

These alternatives allow you to connect and interact with your partner on the day of the wedding without breaking the tradition of not seeing each other before the ceremony.

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