Elope Now, Party Later: How To Have Both

There are no rules when it comes to eloping and you can choose to elope and still plan a wedding or reception-style party at any time in the future. One of the benefits of eloping first is that you and your partner get to focus on having the ceremony focused just on you, without external pressure around how it looks to a sea of guests. You can also spread out the cost of a wedding by staggering expenses across the elopement and the wedding. Many couples who have eloped and then had a bigger wedding later say that they don't regret their decision. However, some people say that they felt their second wedding wasn't as special. If you do decide to elope and then have a bigger wedding, you can play the video of your ceremony during the reception.

Pros and cons of eloping

Eloping is a great option for couples who want to save money, avoid the stress of planning a large wedding, or simply prefer a more intimate setting. However, there are also some drawbacks to consider before deciding to elope. Here are some pros and cons of eloping to help you make an informed decision:

Pros of Eloping:

• Save Money: Eloping can be much more affordable than a traditional wedding, as you don't have to pay for a large venue, catering, or other expensive elements.
• Less Planning: Wedding planning can be time-consuming and overwhelming. Elopements require less planning and allow you to focus on what matters most to you and your partner.
• Intimacy and Authenticity: An elopement allows you to have an intimate and authentic celebration focused solely on you and your partner, without the distractions of a large guest list.
• Flexibility: When you elope, you have the freedom to get married anywhere you choose, whether it's a simple courthouse ceremony or a destination elopement in a romantic location.
• Avoid Family Drama: Eloping can help you avoid family conflicts or dynamics that may otherwise arise during a traditional wedding.
• Skip Traditions: If certain wedding traditions don't resonate with you, eloping gives you the flexibility to create a ceremony that aligns with your values and preferences.

Cons of Eloping:

• Family and Friend Backlash: Some family members and friends may feel left out or disappointed if they are not included in your elopement. It's important to be prepared for their reactions and find ways to involve them, such as through a post-elopement celebration.
• Missing Out on Traditions: While eloping offers flexibility, it also means missing out on certain wedding traditions that require a larger group, such as throwing the bouquet or parent-child dances.
• Fewer Gifts: With a smaller guest list or none at all, you will likely receive fewer gifts compared to a traditional wedding.
• Sense of FOMO: While eloping is a personal choice, you may still experience a sense of missing out on the big wedding experience that is often portrayed in society and social media.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to weddings. The most important thing is to make a decision that feels right for you and your partner, and to focus on celebrating your love and commitment in a way that aligns with your values and preferences.

Combining elopement and traditional wedding elements

There are no rules when it comes to elopements and weddings. You can absolutely elope and then have a more formal or traditional wedding later. Here are some tips for combining elopement and traditional wedding elements:

• Involve your family and friends: Eloping is an intimate and romantic experience for the couple, but that doesn't mean you can't involve your loved ones in some way. Consider sending a marriage announcement or elopement invitation to your friends and family, especially if you're planning a reception after your elopement. This way, they can share in your happiness and celebrate with you.
• Choose your guests or witnesses: You can elope with just your partner, or you can include a few close friends and family members. If you choose to invite others, you can ask them to be witnesses for your marriage license. Alternatively, you can elope just the two of you and then have a larger celebration with all your loved ones later.
• Add traditional elements: Eloping allows you to commemorate your marriage as a couple authentically, but you can still incorporate cultural or family traditions into your celebration. For example, if your family loves dancing the Hora at weddings, go for it! Or, if your partner's family makes the best Italian wedding soup, include it in your menu.
• Wear a wedding dress: Absolutely! Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and special. Whether it's a traditional wedding dress or something more casual, the choice is entirely yours.
• Plan a post-elopement reception: If you want to combine elopement and traditional wedding elements, consider planning a reception after your elopement. This can be a more relaxed celebration with your loved ones, where you can still have the first dance, toasts, and all the traditional wedding elements you desire.
• Choose your vendors carefully: Since elopements are more intimate and often involve fewer people, choosing the right vendors is crucial. Hire a photographer and/or videographer who can capture the special moments of your elopement, especially if you plan to share them with others later.

Planning a post-elopement wedding celebration

Firstly, remember that there are no rules when it comes to elopements! You can decide how and when to announce your elopement, and whether you want to include a small group of family and friends or keep it just between you and your partner.

If you're planning a post-elopement wedding celebration, consider the following:

• Guest list: Finalise your guest list, keeping in mind that a larger guest list may require a more traditional venue.
• Venue: Choose a venue that fits the size and style of your celebration. Since you've already eloped, you may have more flexibility with the setting and could consider non-traditional locations.
• Budget: Set a clear budget for your reception before booking anything. It's easy to go over budget when planning a large event, so be mindful of your financial limits.
• Date: Consider the availability of your most important guests when choosing a date for your celebration.
• Activities: Decide on the activities you want to include. Do you want traditional wedding activities like cake cutting and a bouquet toss, or something more casual?
• Food: Choose your menu and decide how you want to serve your guests. Consider options such as a three-course meal, a buffet, or a BBQ.
• Invitations: Send out invitations and RSVPs at least one month in advance so that guests can plan their attendance.

Remember, your wedding day is about you and your partner, so feel free to make it your own and include the elements that are most important to you!

The legal details of eloping

Eloping is a very personal, intimate, and romantic experience for couples. It can be just the two of you, or you can include a few family members and friends. The beauty of eloping is that there are no rules, and you can decide how to tailor the experience to your preferences.

However, it is crucial not to forget the legal details and paperwork requirements. These details vary depending on the location of your elopement. For instance, some states in the US, such as Colorado, California, and Pennsylvania, recognise self-uniting marriages, meaning you do not need an officiant to preside over your elopement. In contrast, other states, such as North Carolina, require two witnesses to sign the marriage certificate, while Virginia does not require any additional witnesses.

If you plan to elope in another country, it may be easier to legally wed in your home country first and make the destination elopement a spiritual celebration. Alternatively, you can work with a resort or wedding planner in the destination country to guide you through the legal requirements.

Additionally, if you choose to elope with only your partner, you may still need witnesses for your marriage license. In such cases, your photographer and other vendors can serve as witnesses. Ensure that you confirm their willingness to sign the marriage license in advance.

Remember, while eloping gives you the freedom to create a unique and authentic experience, it is essential to be well-informed about the legal requirements of your chosen location to ensure a smooth and stress-free process.

Involving guests or witnesses

If you want to keep things small and intimate, you might decide to elope with just you and your partner. This can be a great way to ensure the day is focused on your relationship and your commitment to each other. However, if you want to share your special moment with others, you can certainly invite a few close friends or family members to join you. They can even act as witnesses for your marriage license, which is a bonus!

Keep in mind that the legal requirements for marriage ceremonies vary depending on where you are. For example, some states in the US require witnesses to sign the marriage certificate, while others do not. Be sure to research the legal requirements of your location ahead of time to ensure your elopement is legally recognized.

If you're worried about family or friends feeling left out, there are ways to involve them in your elopement. For instance, you could ask them to help with pre-elopement activities, such as dress shopping or collecting well-wishes, or include them in a post-elopement celebration. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and you should do what feels right for you and your partner.

Frequently asked questions