Who Says Only Men Can Be Best Man?

While the role of a best man at a wedding has traditionally been performed by a male friend or relative of the groom, there is a growing trend of females taking on this role, often referred to as a best woman. This shift towards gender inclusivity in wedding parties reflects modern sensibilities and the desire to honour close friendships, regardless of gender. This evolution in wedding traditions has sparked questions about duties, attire, and social dynamics, which this paragraph aims to address.

Bachelor Party Planning

So, your best mate is a woman and you want her to be your best person at your wedding. Awesome! This isn't 1952; it's the 21st century, so you can definitely have a best woman instead of a best man if that's what you want.

Involvement

Let your best woman decide what she is comfortable with. She might want to celebrate with the boys, or she might prefer to attend the bachelorette party. She could even do both! It's essential to have a chat with her and see what she feels comfortable with.

Planning

Traditionally, the best man plans the bachelor party. If your best woman is up for it, she can plan the entire thing, or she can have some input. If she is attending the bachelor party, she will probably expect to be involved in the planning process.

Activities

There is no need to book different activities just because your best person is a woman. The activities commonly booked for bachelor parties are also commonly booked for bachelorette parties. However, if you are going to a strip club, for example, it's a good idea to mention this beforehand and check how she feels about it.

Accommodation

If your best woman is joining the bachelor party, consider the sleeping arrangements. Ensure you choose accommodation with twin rooms, and that she has someone she feels comfortable sharing with.

Attire

Your best woman can wear whatever she feels comfortable in. She might opt for a female tuxedo or suit, or she could wear a dress that coordinates with the bridesmaids' dresses or the groomsmen's suits.

Remember, it's your wedding, so do what feels right!

Wedding Attire

If the female best man feels most comfortable in a tuxedo or suit, there are female styles made to fit her perfectly. She can choose to accessorize in a way that coordinates with the groomsmen, or she might prefer to match the maid of honor. If she would prefer to wear a dress, she could wear a dress in the same color as the suits or tuxedos that the groomsmen are wearing. For example, if the groomsmen are wearing navy suits with wine accessories, she could wear a navy dress with burgundy shoes. Alternatively, she could wear a dress by the same designer as the bridesmaids, but in a color that matches the groomsmen.

The female best man's outfit should complement the groom's without matching exactly or overwhelming his look. For example, if the groom is wearing a white dinner jacket, the best man should wear black. If the groom is wearing a double-breasted coat, the best man should opt for a single-breasted style. The key is continuity. The best man's outfit should be a younger sibling of the groom's and should also match the groomsmen's suits, although with differing details.

Titles

If you're going to have a female best man, you'll need to decide what to call her. While "best woman" is a popular choice, there are a whole host of other options to choose from. These include:

• Best person
• Best lady
• Best maid
• Best matron
• Groom's attendant
• Groom's maid of honour
• Groom's right honourable señora & mistress of ceremonies
• Groomswoman
• Grooms-person
• Groomslady
• Groom's honour attendant
• Bridesman
• Man of honour
• Groomschick
• Groom's chick

Ultimately, it's up to the person you've chosen to be your best man what title they feel most comfortable with.

Partner's Comfort

It is now widely accepted that a woman can take on the role of 'best man' at a wedding. However, there are several considerations to take into account if you are thinking of asking a female friend to take on this role.

Communication is Key

Firstly, it is important to communicate your plans to your partner as early as possible. Although it is hoped that your partner knows you well and will be supportive of your choice, it is still a good idea to keep them in the loop. It is also worth bearing in mind that having a close friend of the opposite gender may spark some jealousy, but clear and open communication can help to diffuse these feelings.

Duties and Responsibilities

The duties of a female best man are the same as those of a male best man. These include planning and arranging the stag do, assisting with wedding attire shopping, helping the groom with wedding prep, holding the wedding rings on the day, and greeting guests at the ceremony. It is important to discuss these duties with your chosen best woman to ensure she is comfortable with them.

There are many different titles that can be given to a female best man, including 'best woman', 'best person', 'best lady', 'best maid', 'groom's attendant', 'groom's maid of honour', groomslady, or 'groom's right honourable señora & mistress of ceremonies'! It is important to discuss what title she feels comfortable with.

In terms of attire, this is also dependent on what the best woman feels comfortable wearing. She may opt for a female tuxedo or suit, a dress that coordinates with the bridesmaids, or a gown that matches the colour code of the groomsmen.

Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

It is becoming increasingly common for members of the opposite sex to be present at bachelor/bachelorette parties, often referred to as a 'hag do' or a 'sten do'. If the best woman chooses to attend the bachelor party, it is important to consider suitable accommodation and whether she has someone she feels comfortable sharing a room with.

Photographs

If the wedding party will be posed for photographs in a traditional, gender-symmetrical way, it is worth discussing with your partner and photographer where the best woman will stand.

Gifts

When it comes to gifts for your best woman, it is a good idea to consider something personalised, rather than the traditional gifts for a best man such as cufflinks or a bottle of whisky.

Photography

Female "Best Man" at a Wedding: A Guide for Photographers

In the 21st century, wedding traditions are evolving, and it is now common for couples to personalise their wedding parties to include people of different genders. This guide will offer advice for photographers on how to approach a wedding where a female "best man" is part of the wedding party.

Communication

It is important to communicate with the couple before the wedding to understand their preferences and expectations. Ask the couple how they envision the female "best man" being included in group photos. This will ensure that no one is left out of important shots and that the final images reflect the unique dynamics of the wedding party.

Posing and Grouping

When posing the wedding party, be mindful of the couple's preferences regarding the placement of the female "best man". If the couple prefers a symmetrical look, the female "best man" can be positioned with the groomsmen or bridesmaids to maintain balance. However, if the couple is open to a less traditional approach, the female "best man" can simply stand by the groom's side, regardless of her relationship to the bride.

Attire

The female "best man" may choose to wear a variety of outfits, including a female-cut suit or tuxedo, a dress that coordinates with the bridesmaids, or a gown that matches the colour scheme of the groomsmen. Photographers should be aware of these options and consider how the chosen attire may impact the overall aesthetic of the wedding party in their photographs.

Duties

The female "best man" will typically perform the same duties as a traditional best man, including holding the wedding rings, assisting with wedding attire shopping, and helping the groom with wedding preparations. Photographers can anticipate capturing moments such as the female "best man" supporting the groom, offering a toast, and participating in wedding rituals alongside the groomsmen.

By staying informed and adaptable, photographers can ensure that their images capture the unique dynamics and special moments of a wedding party that includes a female "best man". Clear communication with the couple and an understanding of the female "best man's" role will contribute to a successful and memorable documentation of the day.

Frequently asked questions