The tradition of the groom and bride not seeing each other before the wedding ceremony is well-known. This tradition dates back to when marriages were arranged, and it was considered bad luck for the couple to meet before the ceremony. The belief was that if the groom found the bride unattractive, he might call off the wedding, bringing shame to the bride and her family. While this superstition has mostly been debunked, some couples still choose to follow it to save the special moment of seeing each other for the actual wedding. Nowadays, it is common for couples to have a first look before the ceremony, either in person or through text or notes, to exchange their feelings and appreciate each other.
What You'll Learn
Texting and calling
Some people believe that texting or calling the bride or groom on their wedding day is a faux pas, especially if the message contains questions or requires a response. It is generally considered acceptable to send a brief, positive message, such as a congratulations or well-wish, as long as it does not require a reply. However, if there is an urgent matter that needs to be discussed, it is probably best to contact someone else in the wedding party or a member of the couple's family.
It is also worth noting that the couple may be very busy on their wedding day and may not have their phones with them, so any messages may go unanswered. If there is an important question or issue that needs to be addressed, it is best to contact someone else who can help or pass along the message.
In certain situations, it may be necessary to contact the bride or groom directly. For example, if there is an issue with the wedding that only the bride or groom can address, it may be reasonable to contact them. Additionally, if there is an urgent personal matter, it may be appropriate to reach out, although this should be avoided if possible.
In conclusion, the decision to text or call the bride or groom on their wedding day is a personal choice, and there is no right or wrong answer. However, it is generally advisable to avoid bothering the couple with questions or problems that can be handled by someone else. If you do choose to send a message, keep it brief and positive, and do not expect an immediate response.
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Passing notes
Notes can be passed back and forth with the help of the bridal party or family members. In the age of technology, texting is also an option for the couple to stay connected throughout the day. However, it is important to be mindful of the time and not spend the entire day on the phone. A quick phone call or a few text messages can be a nice way to feel a sense of calm and excitement before the ceremony.
Handwritten notes can be more personal and romantic, and they can even be kept as mementos after the wedding. They can be exchanged directly or passed along through a trusted person. Post-it notes, letters, or even cute messages on fridge magnets are all creative ways to pass notes and make the other person feel special.
The content of the notes can vary, from simple expressions of love and excitement to more detailed messages sharing personal reflections and memories. It can be a fun way to reminisce about the relationship and express gratitude for having found one another. The notes can also be used to coordinate any last-minute wedding details or inform each other of any changes or updates.
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Seeing each other before the wedding
The superstition that it is bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding ceremony dates back to when marriages were arranged. The groom's family would often be tricked by the bride's father into thinking that the bride was more attractive than she was, and so the groom would not be allowed to see her until her veil was removed during the ceremony, by which time it was too late to back out.
In modern times, this tradition has evolved into the more romantic idea that the couple should wait to see each other so that their ceremony attire is a surprise until they meet at the altar. However, this tradition is not widely followed today, and many couples choose to spend the morning of the wedding together or at least communicate via text or phone call. Some couples even choose to get ready together, bringing their photographer along to capture the pre-wedding prep.
If you want to stick to tradition and not see each other before the ceremony, there are still ways to connect with your partner. You could meet up and stand back-to-back, allowing you to talk and calm each other's nerves without seeing each other. Alternatively, you could embrace with a blindfold on, exchange letters or gifts, or record and send each other video messages.
Ultimately, whether or not the bride and groom see each other before the wedding is a personal choice. There are no hard and fast rules, and couples should do what works best for them.
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The groom's wedding speech
Beginning Your Speech:
- Start with a warm and inclusive introduction. Thank your guests for their presence and acknowledge those who have travelled long distances to be there.
- Quickly get to the main purpose of your speech by addressing your partner's father and thanking him for his earlier speech. Be sincere but keep references to financial contributions general.
Knowing Your Audience:
Ensure your speech is accessible to everyone in the room. Avoid inside jokes, offensive remarks, or controversial topics. Keep the speech light and funny, but also appropriate.
Adding Humour:
- Include some appropriate jokes or amusing stories to balance out the emotions of the day. Make your humour personal and spontaneous.
- You can poke fun at yourself, your partner's quirks, or even the wedding itself. Just be careful not to embarrass your partner or share overly personal details.
Expressing Gratitude:
- Traditionally, the groom thanks his partner's parents, his best man and ushers, the maid of honour and bridesmaids, and his own parents.
- Combine your thanks to both sets of parents by acknowledging their unique contributions to your life.
- You can also thank your wedding vendors, guests who have helped with wedding preparations, and anyone else who has contributed significantly to your special day.
Focusing on Your Partner:
- Make your partner the star of the show and the main focus of your speech. Avoid clichés and focus on their unique and quirky characteristics.
- Share specific examples, anecdotes, or stories that highlight their best traits and why you love them.
Timing and Length:
- Keep your speech concise and impactful, ideally around three to ten minutes. This ensures you complement the flow of the reception without dominating it.
- Practice your speech beforehand to get a sense of timing and make any necessary adjustments.
Announcements and Transitions:
- If there are any announcements related to the evening's schedule, dinner, signature cocktails, or entertainment, weave them into your speech.
- End your speech on a fun note with a lighthearted anecdote or a funny story from your relationship or wedding planning journey.
Final Toast:
- Before concluding, give another round of thanks to everyone involved, including any individuals you may have missed earlier.
- Finally, ask everyone to raise a toast to your partner, your families, friends, and the staff working to make your day special.
Remember, this is your opportunity to publicly express your love and gratitude, so speak from the heart, be yourself, and enjoy the moment!
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The groom's parents' welcome speech
Ladies and gentlemen, family, and friends, we are so glad that you could join us today to celebrate the union of our son and his beloved partner. We are incredibly grateful for your presence, and we hope that you are enjoying this special occasion as much as we are.
We want to extend a warm welcome to everyone here today, especially those who have travelled far to be with us. Your effort and support mean a great deal to us, and we are touched by your generosity. We also want to thank those who have helped us in preparing for this wonderful day; your contributions have made it even more memorable.
To our son and his new spouse, we are so proud of the life you have built together, and we are honoured to officially welcome [spouse's name] into our family. Your love for each other has brought us so much joy, and we wish you a lifetime of happiness, love, and laughter.
We also want to take a moment to thank our son for his love and support over the years. We are grateful for the person you have become, and we know that you will continue to be a source of light in our lives. We are confident that your marriage will be filled with all the love, joy, and adventure that you deserve.
Finally, we want to propose a toast to the happy couple. Please join us in raising your glasses to celebrate the love and future of [son's name] and [spouse's name]. May their journey together be filled with endless love, cherished moments, and beautiful memories. Cheers!
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, it is considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding as this superstition dates back to when marriages were arranged. It was believed that the groom would call off the wedding if he saw the bride before the ceremony as he might not have found her attractive.
Some couples choose to write and exchange handwritten love letters before the ceremony.
There is no rule that says the couple cannot text each other on their wedding day.
No, it is a personal choice and many couples now opt for a "first look" before the ceremony.
This is also a personal choice. Some couples spend the entire day apart, choosing to sleep separately the night before. Others might wake up and have breakfast together before going their separate ways to get ready.