Married Chinese Women As Bridesmaids: Is It Acceptable?

In Chinese wedding traditions, bridesmaids are also called Ah Yee, which is the term used to address the wife's sister. In ancient China, rich families might provide young, single maids as part of the bride's dowry, who would then serve the bride in the groom's family. These maids, known as concubines, would bear children on the bride's behalf if the couple was unable to conceive. In modern times, it has become more common for married women to be bridesmaids, as people are getting married at an older age and most of the bride's close friends or relatives are already married. However, some parents may still prefer to stick to the tradition of having only unmarried bridesmaids.

Bridesmaids are expected to drink on behalf of the bride

In Chinese weddings, bridesmaids are expected to drink on behalf of the bride. This is a long-standing tradition that stems from the feudal era when bridesmaids were responsible for protecting the bride from being kidnapped by rival clans and hooligans. Bridesmaids would dress like the bride to reduce the risk of her being identified and kidnapped.

Today, this tradition persists, and bridesmaids are expected to drink Chinese rice wine on behalf of the bride. The newlyweds are expected to toast every wedding guest individually, and the bridesmaids often end up drinking on the bride's behalf to avoid her drinking excessively. Unfortunately, this has led to instances of alcohol poisoning and even death. Due to these dangers, some brides are now hiring professional bridesmaids who are paid to drink on behalf of the bride, among other tasks.

In addition to drinking on the bride's behalf, bridesmaids also have other important roles in a Chinese wedding. They are expected to stay by the bride's side all day, helping her with small tasks and participating in the bridal chamber teasing with the groomsmen, family, and guests. They also greet guests as they arrive, pose for photos, and guard the boudoir.

Traditionally, bridesmaids in Chinese weddings were unmarried, but nowadays, it is becoming more common for married friends or siblings to be included in the wedding party. The number of bridesmaids can vary, with some couples having up to a dozen or more. The bridesmaids are also called "Ah Yee," which is the term used to address the wife's sister.

The bride's maids of honour are typically unmarried

In Chinese weddings, bridesmaids are expected to play a variety of roles, from greeting guests to posing for photos and drinking wine on behalf of the bride. While modern Chinese weddings are influenced by Western styles, with some couples including married friends or siblings in their wedding parties, traditionally, bridesmaids were unmarried.

In ancient China, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age, similar to Western traditions. The principal bridesmaid, or maid of honour, is unmarried, while a married woman in this role is called the matron of honour. This tradition stems from the belief that a bride's young, unmarried maids would serve her in the groom's household after the wedding. If the couple was unable to conceive, the bride could maintain her position in the family by asking her maid to bear children for her husband. This practice, where the maid was known as a "concubine", presumed that the maid would be loyal to the bride and not compete with her for attention.

In addition, the role of the bridesmaid was once a protective one. During the feudal era, brides were vulnerable to kidnapping by rival clans and hooligans, so bridesmaids dressed like the bride to reduce the risk of her being identified and taken. Today, the number of bridesmaids is often seen as a sign of power and prestige for the families involved in the marriage.

While the role of the bridesmaid in a Chinese wedding comes with fun parts, such as playing games with the groom and groomsmen, it can also be dangerous. Bridesmaids are expected to drink on behalf of the bride, which has led to instances of alcohol poisoning and even death. There are also concerns about sexual harassment and abuse, as the role of the bridesmaid is often objectified and used for stunts with sexual innuendos. Due to these concerns, some brides are now opting to hire professional bridesmaids.

Bridesmaids are often expected to fend off unwanted advances

In Chinese weddings, bridesmaids are expected to perform a protective function for the bride. This includes fending off unwanted advances and drinking on her behalf.

In ancient China, brides were susceptible to kidnapping by rival clans and hooligans during the wedding. Bridesmaids were dressed like the bride to reduce the risk of her being identified and taken. This tradition has evolved, and bridesmaids now play a more symbolic role. However, the protective aspect of their role remains, and they are expected to guard the boudoir and fend off unwanted advances from male guests.

Bridesmaids are often pressured to drink excessive amounts of alcohol on behalf of the bride. It is customary for the newlyweds to toast every table of guests, and the bridesmaids are expected to drink the bride's share. This has led to instances of alcohol poisoning and even death among bridesmaids.

In addition to drinking on the bride's behalf, bridesmaids are also expected to participate in door games, where they block the groom from entering the bride's bedroom and test his determination to marry her by asking questions and playing games. This tradition, called "Du Men" (door blocking), originated in ancient China when brides were sent away to live with the husband's family.

The physical beauty and number of bridesmaids are often seen as a sign of power and prestige for the families involved in the marriage. However, due to the pressure and negative reputation associated with being a bridesmaid, some brides are now opting to hire professional bridesmaids instead of choosing close friends or relatives. These professionals are experienced in handling unwanted advances and are expected to act as make-up artists, drink alcohol, and fend off rude guests on behalf of the bride.

The number of bridesmaids is a sign of the family's status

In the past, the number of bridesmaids in a wedding party was closely calculated to be appropriate to the family's social status. A large group of bridesmaids was a way of showing off the family's wealth and status. This tradition has been influenced by the fact that historically, no person of status would go out unattended.

In modern times, the number of bridesmaids is dependent on several variables, including the bride's preferences, the size of her family, and the number of attendants her partner would like to have. The number of bridesmaids and groomsmen can be indicative of the family's status, as the bill for providing jackets, gowns, dresses, accessories, professional makeup, and handheld bouquets for a large group can be hefty.

In ancient China, rich families would provide young, single maids as part of the bride's dowry. These maids would serve their mistress in the groom's family. If the couple was unable to conceive, the bride could preserve her position in the family by having her maid bear children for her husband on her behalf. Known as a "concubine", this maid was expected to be loyal to the bride and not compete with her for attention or threaten her position.

The role of bridesmaids has evolved over time, and in contemporary China, they are often objectified as part of the wedding display. The physical beauty and number of bridesmaids are often seen as a sign of power and "face" for the families involved in the marriage. This is particularly true in rural areas and more traditional provinces such as Shandong and Hainan.

While the number of bridesmaids can be a status symbol, it is important to note that the role of a bridesmaid in China comes with considerable responsibilities and expectations, including drinking on behalf of the bride, posing for photo ops, and guarding the boudoir.

Bridesmaids are usually the bride's close friends or relatives

In China, bridesmaids also play a protective role, and are expected to fend off drinking requests or drink on the bride's behalf. They also act as the last symbolic hurdle before the groom can enter the bridal room. Traditionally, bridesmaids in China were unmarried, but nowadays, married friends or siblings are often included in the wedding party.

The number of bridesmaids chosen depends on how many close friends the bride has and how much she is willing to spend. Bridesmaids are expected to be physically beautiful, and their number is often seen as a sign of power and prestige for the families involved in the marriage.

Bridesmaids have many duties and play an important part in keeping the wedding festivities going, as well as helping and honouring the bride. They are expected to stay by the bride's side all day, helping her with small tasks, drinking in her place when necessary, and participating in bridal chamber teasing with the groomsmen, family, and guests.

Frequently asked questions