Bridesmaids' Briefing: What You Need To Tell Them

Planning a wedding can be stressful, but there are ways to make it easier on yourself and your bridesmaids. It's important to communicate early and often, so your bridesmaids are well-informed and happy. Give them a timeline of events, including when and where they should arrive, and when they can expect the party to be over. Let them know about food, dates, and plus-ones. It's also a good idea to ask about their budgets, time commitments, and expectations. You can do this through a fun questionnaire or a casual chat. Be mindful of their time and respect their schedules. Give them freedom to choose their dresses, hair, makeup, and shoes, or at least provide options that suit their preferences and comfort levels. Finally, show your appreciation and keep the drama to a minimum!

Budget expectations

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. It's important to have open and transparent conversations about money to avoid any misunderstandings or resentment. Here are some things to keep in mind and discuss with your bridesmaids about budget expectations:

Be Upfront About Costs

Before asking someone to be your bridesmaid, it's important to have a conversation about budget expectations. This includes the cost of the bridesmaid dress, accessories, hair and makeup, travel, accommodation, pre-wedding events such as the bachelorette party and bridal shower, and gifts. Be clear about what costs the bridesmaids will be expected to cover and give them an estimate of how much these might be. This will help them assess whether they can afford to be a bridesmaid.

Discuss Financial Limitations

If any of your bridesmaids have financial limitations, encourage them to be honest with you. It's better to know upfront if they can't afford certain expenses so you can work together to find alternatives. For example, if they can't afford a destination bachelorette party, suggest a local alternative or offer to cover some of their costs. Remember, it's more important to have your friends by your side than to have them spend money they don't have.

Provide a Budget Estimate

When discussing budget expectations, provide a detailed estimate of the costs involved. This will help your bridesmaids plan and save accordingly. Consider using a budget tool or calculator to estimate costs based on real wedding data. This will give your bridesmaids a clear idea of what they need to budget for and help them assess whether they can afford to be part of the wedding party.

Encourage Savings

Encourage your bridesmaids to start saving as early as possible, especially if they know they will be part of the wedding party. Creating a savings account specifically for wedding-related expenses can help them stay organised and ensure they don't dip into their regular savings. Budgeting tools and apps can also help them track their spending and stay within their budget.

Suggest Cost-Saving Measures

There are ways to save money as a bridesmaid, such as renting or buying a used dress, doing their hair and makeup themselves, or carpooling to reduce travel costs. Suggest these options to your bridesmaids to help them cut down on expenses.

Remember, open and honest communication about budget expectations is key to ensuring everyone is on the same page and your bridesmaids don't feel overwhelmed by the financial commitments involved in being part of your special day.

Bachelorette party plans

Bachelorette parties are a chance for the bridal party to get together and celebrate the bride-to-be. The party is typically planned by the maid of honour, but if there isn't one, the bride can ask a bridesmaid or a small group of friends to coordinate the event. It's important to remember that the party is about celebrating the bride, not who planned it, so sharing responsibilities is a good idea.

Guest List

The guest list usually includes the maid of honour and bridesmaids, but the bride may want to expand the list to include her mother or mother-in-law, or a close friend. It's important to remember that only people invited to the wedding should be invited to the bachelorette party.

Budget

Discuss the budget with the entire bridal party. Ask questions like, "Would you be willing to spend money on travel and accommodations?" or "What's your maximum personal budget for the party?". It's important to be considerate of everyone's financial situation, especially if they're also budgeting for other wedding-related expenses like attire, beauty treatments, and gifts.

Date and Location

Finalise the date and location early on, preferably six months in advance. This will make it easier to find a time that works for everyone and allow attendees to plan and book any necessary travel. The party should ideally take place between one and three months before the wedding, avoiding the night before the wedding to allow for a restful night's sleep.

Theme and Activities

The theme and activities should reflect the bride's personality and interests. For example, if she loves glitter and dancing, a disco theme would be perfect. If she's a nature lover, consider a spa weekend or hiking trip. Boat charters, yoga classes, cooking lessons, and wine tasting are also popular choices.

Decorations and Favours

Decorations, favours, games, and party swag like matching t-shirts or swimsuits can add a fun touch to the event. It's a good idea to order these items in advance to ensure they arrive on time.

Logistics

Finalise travel, accommodation, and activity bookings about four to six months before the party. If you're staying local, don't forget to make reservations for popular restaurants or wineries.

Communication

Keep everyone informed by creating a group chat and sending out a detailed itinerary about a month before the party. This should include important information such as the address, transportation details, and any specific items guests need to pack.

Payment

Traditionally, each attendee pays their way through the celebration and chips in to cover the cost of the bride. If it's a multi-day event requiring travel, the bride typically pays her way, especially for transportation and lodging.

Remember, the most important thing is to celebrate the bride and ensure she has a memorable time with her favourite people!

Availability and timeline

Communicate Early and Often:

It is important to give your bridesmaids all the necessary dates well in advance, including the engagement party, bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, and wedding day. This will allow them to plan their schedules accordingly and ensure they can commit to all the events.

Discuss the Dress Shopping/Ordering Process:

Inform your bridesmaids about how you plan to approach bridesmaid dress shopping and/or ordering. Let them know if you have already chosen a specific dress style or color, or if you intend to involve them in the decision-making process.

Provide a Timeline for the Bachelorette Party:

Give your bridesmaids plenty of notice about your bachelorette party plans. This will help them prepare, especially if they need to request time off work or make travel arrangements.

Be Upfront About Time and Monetary Commitments:

Be transparent about the time and financial commitments expected of your bridesmaids. This includes costs related to the dress, bachelorette party, and wedding gift. By setting clear expectations early on, your bridesmaids can plan accordingly and avoid feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

Respect Their Time:

Remember that your bridesmaids have their own lives, jobs, and responsibilities. Avoid sending lengthy emails or texts, and try to keep your communications concise and to the point. Respect their time by only involving them in essential wedding-related tasks and events.

Discuss Pre-Wedding Events:

Inform your bridesmaids about any pre-wedding events, such as the rehearsal dinner, and ask about their availability. It is important to understand if they have any scheduling conflicts to ensure their presence at these events.

Provide an Itinerary for the Wedding Day:

Create a detailed schedule for the wedding day, including arrival times, photography sessions, and an expected end time. This will help your bridesmaids know what to expect and ensure they are where they need to be throughout the day.

Discuss Breakfast or Lunch Arrangements:

Let your bridesmaids know if breakfast or lunch will be provided for them on the wedding day, especially if they will be arriving early in the morning. If not, provide information about nearby restaurants where they can purchase meals.

Inform Them About Plus-One Arrangements:

Let your bridesmaids know if they are allowed to bring a plus-one to the wedding and, if so, provide details about when and where their dates should arrive and meet them. This will help avoid any confusion or misunderstandings.

Provide Contact Information:

Share the contact information of a point person, such as your maid of honor, who can answer any questions your bridesmaids may have leading up to and on the wedding day. This will help reduce the number of inquiries coming directly to you and allow you to focus on your special day.

Food and drink

Before the Wedding

Communication is key. Let your bridesmaids know if you will be providing breakfast or lunch for them on the day of the wedding. If not, inform them about nearby restaurants or places where they can get food. It is also a good idea to ask about any dietary restrictions or allergies they may have. This will help you plan meals or snacks that everyone can enjoy.

On the Wedding Day

Make sure you have a variety of drinks and snacks available for your bridesmaids to enjoy throughout the day. Bottled water and energy bars, or fresh fruit, are great options to keep everyone energised and hydrated. You may also want to provide some bubbly, such as mimosas, to add a festive touch to the preparations.

It is recommended to have a mix of protein-rich foods and mini meals available. For example, a balanced breakfast could include eggs, plain Greek yoghurt with fresh fruit, nuts, or protein bars. Lean meats, cooked vegetables, whole grains, and quinoa are also good choices to keep energy levels up and prevent hunger later in the day.

However, it is important to avoid certain foods and drinks. Cruciferous vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower, as well as other high-fibre foods, may cause bloating and gas. Caffeine and alcohol should also be consumed in moderation to avoid jitters or a hangover.

During the Reception

As the reception festivities unfold, your bridesmaids will likely join in the dining and drinking. It is a thoughtful gesture to ensure they are well-fed and can fully enjoy the celebration.

After the Reception

The celebrations can be exhausting, so it's a good idea to provide a late-night snack or a comfortable space for your bridesmaids to relax and recharge.

Remember, happy and well-fed bridesmaids will be better equipped to support you and ensure your special day runs smoothly.

Plus-ones

When it comes to your bridesmaids, it is generally considered good etiquette to allow them to bring a plus-one to your wedding. This is especially true if they are in a long-term, committed relationship, or if they are travelling from out of town to be there for you. It is a nice way to thank them for their time, love, energy, and financial support throughout the wedding planning process.

However, it is not always feasible to allow plus-ones, especially if you are on a tight budget or planning a small wedding. If you are unable to offer plus-ones to your bridesmaids, it is important to be consistent across the board and not allow any guests to bring dates. This will help to avoid any hurt feelings or discomfort, especially if a bridesmaid is in a relationship and really wants to bring their partner.

If you are able to offer plus-ones to your bridesmaids, it is a thoughtful gesture to ensure that their dates feel included and welcomed. Here are some tips to consider:

• Encourage your bridesmaids to introduce their dates to you beforehand so you can put a name to a face and ensure you are comfortable with their choice.
• Suggest that dates bring a gift, even if it is small, as a token of their thanks and congratulations.
• Remind dates to follow basic etiquette, such as keeping their phones on silent during the ceremony and being mindful of their alcohol consumption.
• Encourage dates to mingle and congratulate the happy couple, rather than staying glued to your bridesmaid's side all night.

Remember, the decision to allow or disallow plus-ones is ultimately up to you and your partner. Consider your budget, the size of your venue, and the comfort of your bridesmaids when making your decision.

Frequently asked questions