Bridesmaids' Bitchiness: Why It Happens And How To Avoid It

Bridesmaids can often be portrayed as bitchy in popular media, as seen in the film Bridesmaids and the article Ten Reasons Your Bridesmaids Secretly Hate You. This begs the question: why do bridesmaids get bitchy? Well, there are a number of reasons, including the stress of having to take time off work, the financial burden of expensive dresses and shoes, and the pressure of having to attend multiple pre-wedding events such as bachelorette parties and bridal showers. Brides can also be demanding, expecting their bridesmaids to conform to specific hair, makeup, and nail requirements, and sometimes even tanning or weight loss. All of this can lead to a lot of stress and resentment, which may explain why bridesmaids are sometimes portrayed as bitchy in popular culture.

Bridesmaids are expected to pay for hair, makeup, nails, tanning and attire

Being a bridesmaid can be an expensive affair. There are a lot of costs involved, from the dress to travel, and often hair, makeup, nails, and tanning. While there is no single right way to handle these expenses, it is important to consider the financial situation of your bridesmaids and be respectful and considerate of their limitations.

Who Pays for Hair and Makeup?

There are a few options for handling the cost of hair and makeup for bridesmaids. One option is for the bride to cover all the expenses. This gives the bride more control over the beauty agenda for the big day and allows for more time with the bridal party while getting ready. However, it can be expensive and challenging to coordinate everyone's schedules. Another option is to let bridesmaids opt-in and pay for their own hair and makeup, giving them the freedom to choose their preferred stylist or do it themselves. This can be a more cost-effective approach, especially for large bridal parties. Alternatively, the bride and bridesmaids can split the cost, with the bride paying for a portion of the services as a middle ground.

Who Pays for Nails and Tanning?

Similar to hair and makeup, the bride can choose to pay for her bridesmaids' nails and tanning, especially if she requires a specific look or professional services. If the bride is requiring these services, it is generally expected that she covers the cost. However, if the bride is offering these services as an option, it is acceptable for the bridesmaids to cover the cost if they choose to partake. It is important to note that not everyone may feel comfortable with certain services, so allowing bridesmaids to pick and choose which services they want can be a considerate approach.

Attire

The bride typically selects the attire for her bridesmaids, and it is considered good etiquette for the bride to cover the cost if she requires her bridesmaids to wear a specific dress. However, it is becoming more common to give bridesmaids a colour, pattern, or fabric and let them choose a style that suits their taste and budget. This approach empowers bridesmaids and makes them feel valued. If the bride insists on a particular dress, she should be prepared to cover the cost for those who cannot afford it and communicate this option clearly to the entire bridal party.

Communication and Consideration

To avoid any resentment or drama, it is crucial to set clear expectations upfront and communicate any financial requests or requirements. Brides should also be mindful of their bridesmaids' financial limitations and provide options for those who may not be able to afford certain expenses. Anonymous surveys can help gauge spending preferences and abilities without singling anyone out. Ultimately, the key to a harmonious bridal party is respect, consideration, and open communication.

Bridesmaids are expected to attend destination weddings and bachelorette parties

Planning a wedding can be a stressful time for everyone involved, and it's not uncommon for tensions to run high. Bridesmaids are often expected to attend destination weddings and bachelorette parties, but this can sometimes lead to conflict and resentment. Here are some tips to help ensure that everyone has a positive experience:

Clear and Honest Communication

It's important to have open and honest communication with your bridesmaids from the start. Be clear about your expectations and what their role will entail, including any financial obligations. Discuss the costs involved and be mindful of their financial limitations. It's unfair to force anyone to go into debt or strain their finances to be a part of your wedding. If you're asking them to travel for the bachelorette party or wedding, be considerate of the time and money this will require, and give them the option to opt-out if needed.

Involve Them in the Decision-Making Process

Instead of making all the decisions yourself, involve your bridesmaids in the process. This includes selecting their attire, as not everyone will feel comfortable in the same style or colour. Give them a say in the planning of the bachelorette party, and be mindful of their preferences and comfort levels when it comes to activities and expenses. Remember, they are your friends and family members first, so treat them with respect and consideration throughout the entire process.

Be Flexible and Accommodating

Understand that your bridesmaids have their own lives, jobs, and commitments. Be flexible and accommodating when it comes to their availability, especially if they need to take time off work. Remember that not everyone will be able to attend every pre-wedding event, and that's okay. Focus on celebrating with those who can make it and try not to take it personally if someone can't attend.

Show Your Appreciation

Express your gratitude to your bridesmaids early and often. A thoughtful gift or gesture can go a long way in showing your appreciation for their time and commitment. Treat them to something special, like a manicure or another experience they can enjoy beyond the wedding day.

Keep the Bride's Preferences in Mind

Remember that the bachelorette party is all about the bride, so keep her preferences and personality in mind when planning. If she would prefer a relaxing escape over a wild weekend, respect her wishes. Surprises may be fun for some, but they can also cause stress and anxiety for others, so it's important to find a balance.

Bridesmaids are expected to work on the wedding

It is essential to communicate clearly and set expectations upfront. The bride should discuss what tasks she needs help with and ensure that they align with the bridesmaids' strengths and interests. For example, asking a bridesmaid to address and seal invitation envelopes or set up the ceremony space may not be reasonable requests. Instead, the bride could suggest spending an evening stuffing envelopes while ordering pizza and watching a movie together. This turns a tedious task into a fun bonding experience.

On the wedding day, it is acceptable to assign small, easy errands to the bridesmaids, such as delivering a gift or picking up a pre-ordered breakfast. However, they should not be expected to handle significant activities that will take up a considerable amount of time. The bride should respect the bridesmaids' time and allow them to enjoy the celebration without being overwhelmed by responsibilities.

Additionally, it is worth noting that not all bridesmaids are comfortable with DIY projects or have the necessary skills. Asking them to take on tasks they are not confident in can create further stress and anxiety. It may be more efficient to delegate these tasks to professionals or other willing helpers.

To avoid resentment and ensure a positive experience for everyone involved, the bride should be mindful of her bridesmaids' time, talents, and limitations. Clear communication and thoughtful task delegation are key to maintaining harmonious relationships with the bridal party.

Bridesmaids' significant others are not accommodated

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a challenging position, especially when it comes to finances and relationships. One of the most common issues that can cause resentment and drama is disregarding the significant others of bridesmaids.

Financial Limitations

It is important to be considerate of the financial limitations of your bridesmaids. While it is customary for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, many additional costs are typically covered by the bride, such as hair and makeup, bouquets, and bridesmaid gifts. These costs can quickly add up, and it is unfair to expect your bridesmaids to go into debt or strain their finances to participate in your wedding. If you are asking someone to be a bridesmaid, you should be prepared to cover any costs associated with their participation, including their significant other's attendance.

Plus-One Etiquette

Plus-one etiquette for bridesmaids is the same as for any other guest. If a bridesmaid is in a serious, committed relationship at the time invitations are sent out, their significant other should also be invited. This is important to avoid causing resentment and to show respect for your bridesmaid's relationship. If a bridesmaid enters into a relationship later on and requests a plus-one, it is essential to have an honest conversation about the idea, taking into consideration the size of your guest list and budget constraints.

Time Commitment

Being a bridesmaid requires a significant time commitment, from attending fittings and bachelorette trips to helping with wedding planning and last-minute tasks. This can be challenging for individuals with full-time jobs, relationships, and personal issues. By accommodating the significant others of your bridesmaids, you can help to reduce the time commitment required of them. Their partners can provide support and assistance, allowing your bridesmaid to better manage their time and responsibilities.

Communication

Clear and consistent communication is key to avoiding resentment and drama among your bridesmaids. It is important to set clear expectations upfront, including any costs and time commitments involved. Communicate directly and honestly with your bridesmaids and their significant others to ensure that everyone is on the same page and feels valued and respected.

Bridesmaids are expected to attend weddings on holidays or Fridays

Choosing to have a wedding on a holiday can be seen as a selfish act by the bride. For example, a wedding on Thanksgiving weekend or the 4th of July means that bridesmaids are unable to spend time with their own families and friends on these special occasions. Fridays are only slightly better, but they still cause a cluster of issues, especially with travel and time off work.

Bridesmaids are often expected to attend the rehearsal dinner, which usually takes place the day before the wedding. This means that if a wedding is on a Friday, a bridesmaid may need to take Thursday and Friday off work. This can be a significant inconvenience and cause resentment towards the bride.

It's important for brides to be considerate of their bridesmaids' time and financial limitations when planning their wedding. Choosing a wedding date that falls on a holiday or a Friday can create additional challenges and stress for the bridal party.

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