George Boyle
Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it also comes with a long list of responsibilities. From providing emotional support to the bride, to helping with wedding planning and pre-wedding events, the role of a bridesmaid is significant both before and during the wedding. Bridesmaids are usually some of the bride's closest friends and family members, and they play a vital part in supporting the bride and ensuring her big day goes smoothly.
What You'll Learn
Emotional support
Being a bridesmaid is about being there for the bride, and one of the most important roles is to provide emotional support. Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's the bridesmaid's job to be a shoulder to cry on and a friendly ear when the bride needs to offload. Bridesmaids should check in with the bride regularly, ask what she needs and be sensitive and thoughtful in their support.
Bridesmaids are also there to keep the bride calm and relaxed on the big day. This might mean helping to keep her smiling and laughing, ensuring she eats and stays hydrated, and fielding any questions from guests and suppliers so that the bride can focus on enjoying her day.
In the lead-up to the wedding, bridesmaids can expect to lend an ear to any wedding planning woes and be a supportive and enthusiastic sounding board. It's also a good idea to make time to meet up, have coffee, or do something fun and distracting like a movie night.
Being a bridesmaid also means being flexible and adapting to the bride's needs. Every bride is different and will have different expectations, so honest and open communication is key.
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Help with pre-wedding events
Being a bridesmaid is an honour and a lot of fun, but it also comes with a long list of responsibilities. Here are some ways you can help with pre-wedding events:
Planning and Paying
As a bridesmaid, you will be expected to plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. The maid of honour will usually take the lead, but you should be ready to support her efforts. This may include helping to secure travel plans, accommodations, activities, and transportation, as well as chipping in for the bride's expenses. You should also be prepared to lend a hand with any wedding DIY projects, such as addressing wedding invitations or making centrepieces or favours.
Attending Pre-Wedding Events
It is important that you attend all pre-wedding events, including the engagement party, couples' shower, and rehearsal dinner. You may also be expected to attend dress fittings and wedding dress shopping appointments with the bride.
Emotional Support
Wedding planning can be stressful, so it is crucial that you are there for the bride as an emotional rock. Check in with her throughout the process and ask what she needs. Be sensitive and supportive, and keep tensions low while she is dealing with wedding stress.
Practical Support
There are many practical ways you can help the bride in the lead-up to the wedding. This includes creating a WhatsApp group with the bride and other bridesmaids, regularly checking in with the couple and offering practical help, and visiting the wedding venue to help make decisions on layout and décor. You can also offer to be a point of contact for the wedding coordinator and other vendors on the day.
Gifts
As well as chipping in for the bridal shower and bachelorette party, you will be expected to buy a wedding gift for the couple. If you are on a limited budget, be upfront about this and suggest setting a budget early on.
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Assist the maid of honour
As a bridesmaid, one of your key roles is to support the maid of honour. Here are some ways you can offer assistance:
Before the Wedding
In the lead-up to the wedding, the maid of honour often takes on a range of tasks and responsibilities. As a bridesmaid, you can offer to help with these duties, lightening the load for the maid of honour. Offer to help with wedding planning tasks, such as researching and contacting vendors, creating and tracking the budget, or even just being a sounding board for ideas and offering your opinions. You could also take on some of the more hands-on tasks, like assembling invitations, creating wedding favours, or decorating items for the ceremony or reception.
During Wedding Events and Activities
Be present and involved in all the wedding events and activities, including the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner. Offer to help the maid of honour with the planning and execution of these events, whether it's finding vendors, creating games or activities, or simply being there to support and celebrate the bride. During these events, be attentive to the maid of honour's needs, and offer to help with any last-minute tasks or issues that may arise.
On the Wedding Day
The maid of honour will have a busy schedule on the wedding day itself, so your assistance will be invaluable. Offer to help with the final preparations, such as setting up the venue, ensuring all vendors have arrived, or assisting the bride and maid of honour with their hair and makeup if needed. Throughout the day, be on hand to help with any unexpected issues, and ensure the maid of honour has everything she needs. This could include holding her bouquet during the ceremony, helping to bustle the bride's dress, or simply being a supportive presence during the wedding day festivities.
Emotional Support
Remember that the maid of honour may also need emotional support. Be a good listener and offer words of encouragement throughout the entire process. Be mindful of her stress levels and offer to help lighten her load, whether it's by taking on additional tasks or simply providing a shoulder to lean on. Your role is to ensure that the maid of honour feels supported and valued, so be attentive to her needs and be willing to step in wherever necessary.
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Attend pre-wedding events
Attending pre-wedding events is a key part of a bridesmaid's role. From engagement parties to bridal showers, here are the occasions you can expect to be a part of in the lead-up to the wedding:
Bridal Shower
The bridal shower is one of the most important pre-wedding events for a bridesmaid to attend. It's a chance to celebrate the bride-to-be and "shower" her with love and support before the big day. As a bridesmaid, you'll likely be expected to lend a hand with the planning and hosting, as well as bringing a gift. This might be a group gift from all the bridesmaids, and you'll also be expected to contribute financially to the event.
Bachelorette Party
The bachelorette party is another key event in the lead-up to the wedding. As a bridesmaid, you'll be expected to help the maid of honour with the planning and to contribute financially to covering the bride's expenses. You'll also be expected to pay for your own share of the costs. This event usually takes place a few months before the wedding.
Engagement Party
An engagement party is often one of the first pre-wedding events to take place, and as a bridesmaid, you'll be expected to attend. This is a chance for the couple to celebrate their engagement with their nearest and dearest.
Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner
Attending the wedding rehearsal is important, so you know your cues for the ceremony. The rehearsal dinner usually takes place the night before the wedding, and while it's a more low-key event, your presence is still expected as part of the bride's support crew.
Other Pre-Wedding Events
There may be other pre-wedding events that the bride wants you to be a part of, such as couples' showers, wedding DIY sessions, or even just brunch or cocktails with the bridal party. It's a good idea to check in regularly and offer practical help where you can.
Book Travel and Accommodation
While you'll usually need to cover the cost of your own travel and accommodation for the wedding, it's still part of your role as a bridesmaid to book these in good time. It's also a good idea to be there for any other pre-wedding events, such as beauty appointments, so you may want to take a couple of days off work in the week of the wedding to ensure you can be fully present.
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Assist with wedding planning
Being a bridesmaid means agreeing to a long list of responsibilities, and one of the most important bridesmaid duties is to help with wedding planning. Here are some ways you can assist the happy couple with their wedding planning:
- Support the bride emotionally: Wedding planning can be stressful, so it's important to be there for the bride and provide emotional support. Check in with her throughout the process, ask what she needs, and do your best to support her feelings.
- Help with pre-wedding events: Planning and paying for the bridal shower and bachelorette party are two of the biggest pre-wedding expectations. As a bridesmaid, you should plan to support the maid of honour's efforts and lend a hand wherever possible.
- Attend pre-wedding events: In addition to the bridal shower and bachelorette party, bridesmaids are expected to attend other pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, couples' shower, or any other gatherings to help with wedding DIY.
- Book travel and accommodations: Take care of your own transportation and accommodations for the wedding weekend, and do this early on to ensure your travel logistics are convenient for all the wedding events.
- Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner: It's important to be present at both the ceremony rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner to support the bride and finalise any last-minute preparations.
- Help with wedding planning tasks: Bridesmaids might be asked to help with smaller wedding planning tasks such as stuffing envelopes, alphabetising escort cards, easy DIY projects, or accompanying the bride to pick out rentals or attend hair and makeup trials.
- Buy a wedding present: As with any other wedding guest, bridesmaids should buy a wedding gift for the couple from their wedding registry and have it shipped to their address before the wedding.
- Visit the wedding venue: If required, visit the wedding venue to help make decisions on layout and décor. Offer yourself as a person of contact on the day for any issues.
- Help with wedding dress shopping: Make yourself available for wedding dress shopping and fittings where possible. Stay positive and provide supportive feedback to help the bride make her choices.
- Help with bridesmaid dress shopping: Do some legwork in finding dresses and make yourself available for bridesmaid dress shopping and fittings. Follow the bride's wishes and provide sensitive feedback when requested.
- Help with wedding DIY: Lend a hand with any wedding DIY sessions or easy DIY projects.
- Meet the wedding coordinator: Offer yourself as a point of contact for the wedding coordinator and be prepared to assist with any issues that may arise on the day.
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Frequently asked questions
Before the wedding, a bridesmaid is expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, help with wedding planning tasks, and emotionally support the bride. They may also be involved in setting up the venue and organising travel and accommodation.
On the wedding day, a bridesmaid should help the bride get ready, participate in the ceremony, and be available to assist the bride and maid of honour. This may include helping the bride with her dress, veil, and jewellery, as well as ensuring she stays hydrated and has something to eat. Bridesmaids are also expected to mingle with guests and be the life of the party.
After the wedding, a bridesmaid may be involved in tidying up the venue and returning any hired items. They may also be expected to attend any post-wedding events, such as a farewell party or brunch.
The maid of honour is the chief bridesmaid and has additional responsibilities, such as leading the other bridesmaids and planning events like the hen party and bridal shower. They may also be in charge of the bride's bouquet and holding the groom's ring during the ceremony.
It is important to be honest and communicate any concerns early on. If you are unable or uncomfortable with certain tasks or financial commitments, it is better to politely decline the role than to create additional stress for the bride and the wedding party.
