Best Man's Speech: Insult Or Compliment?

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of a wedding, and it should be fun, funny, and heartfelt. However, it is also one of the prime opportunities for the reception to go off the rails. While it is expected that the groom will get a little ribbing on his big day, the bride is off-limits. The best man should never be the centre of attention, and the speech should always be about the bride and groom. The best man should also be careful not to insult the bride's family or friends and to avoid mentioning sex with the bridesmaids. While a little witty banter or playful teasing can be fun, the best man should avoid insulting the groom or highlighting any major insecurities.

Avoid insulting the bride

While the best man's speech is an opportunity to roast the groom lightly, the bride is off-limits. The last thing she needs is for the groom's friend to ruin her special day. Plus, you do want to stay his friend, right?

Even if you think you're being playful, you should avoid insulting the bride or highlighting any of her insecurities. Your speech is not the time to express amazement that she's wearing white or to ask when she's due if she's pregnant. It's also not the time to mention her exes or make crude jokes.

If you're unsure about whether something will be taken as an insult, it probably will be. It's always better to stay positive. Compliment the bride and make her feel good about your relationship with her and the groom. You can even throw in a self-deprecating joke or two to show that you're willing to poke fun at yourself.

Remember, the wedding day is all about the bride, and you don't want to be the reason she looks back on it with bad memories.

Avoid antagonising older guests

While the best man's speech is meant to be funny, it's important to keep it respectful. Here are some tips to avoid antagonising older guests:

• Avoid making jokes about the bride's grandparents or older guests. For example, don't imply that they're so old that they might be mistaken for raisins and dropped into a champagne glass.
• Don't mention sex with the bridesmaids. It's best to keep any fantasies or hookups to yourself and save the bragging rights for later.
• Steer clear of crude jokes or profanity, especially if there are older family members present. Even mild expletives like "crap" and "bloody" can be off-putting to some.
• Be mindful of cultural differences if there are guests from different generations or backgrounds. What might be considered light-hearted fun in one culture could be offensive to others.
• Keep the speech focused on the couple and avoid bringing up controversial topics that might upset older guests, such as politics or religion.
• If in doubt, ask yourself, "Would Grandma approve?" This can be a helpful guideline to ensure your speech is appropriate for all ages.

Avoid mentioning sex with the bridesmaids

While the best man's speech is meant to be funny, it is important to keep it respectful and congratulatory. Here are some reasons why you should avoid mentioning sex with the bridesmaids:

It's Not About You

The best man should never be the centre of attention. The speech should always be about the bride and the groom, and every word uttered should keep the focus on them. The moment you make it about you, you start to lose your audience.

It's the Bride's Special Day

The bride should be considered off-limits as a subject for humour or ridicule. This is her special day, and the last thing she needs is for her new husband's friend to ruin it for her. Plus, you do want to remain his friend, right? As of today, she has the power to scupper that plan with a wave of her hand.

It's Not Funny

Your audience will not find it funny if you mention sex with the bridesmaids. It is not appropriate and will make the audience feel uncomfortable.

It Will Upset the Bride and Bridesmaids

Mentioning sex with the bridesmaids will upset the bride and the bridesmaids. It is disrespectful and will reflect poorly on the groom. It is also likely to ruin your friendship with the groom.

It's Not Worth the Risk

If you do decide to mention sex with the bridesmaids, you risk ruining the entire wedding. The bride and groom will be upset, and you will likely be asked to leave. Is it worth ruining your friendship and the wedding over a joke?

In conclusion, it is important to keep the best man's speech respectful and congratulatory. Mentioning sex with the bridesmaids will only cause upset and discomfort. Keep the speech focused on the bride and groom, and avoid any inappropriate or crude jokes.

Avoid proposing to the bride

While a best man's speech should be funny, heartfelt, and memorable, there are some definite no-go areas. One of these is proposing to the bride.

Even if you are one of those best men who is secretly smitten with the bride, you need to find a way to be the bigger person and fight the urge to declare your undying love. It is her wedding day, and she is marrying your friend. It is not the time to make a grand romantic gesture.

If you are secretly in love with the bride, you need to respect her choice and put her happiness first. You also need to respect your friend, the groom, and not make his wedding day about your feelings.

If you are unable to do this, then perhaps you should reconsider being the best man. It might be better to bow out gracefully and save yourself and everyone else a lot of embarrassment and upset.

Remember, the wedding day is not about you. It is about the bride and groom, and your speech should reflect that.

Avoid dragging it on

A best man's speech should be concise and to the point. It is recommended that the speech should last between 3 to 10 minutes. The longer the speech, the more likely the audience will start to lose interest.

A good way to keep the speech short is to avoid rambling. Rambling can occur when a speaker tries to tell too many stories or include too many details. A useful tip is to condense stories into "one neat burst of comedy". For example, instead of telling a long story about the groom's sporting failures, the best man could say:

> "Quite how he managed to catch the impossible cricket ball as it left our sports master's bat, is still completely unknown. But with uncharacteristic razor-sharp reactions and gazelle-like agility, he did just that, and won his side the match. Literally seconds after this Mark retired from all forms of competitive sport – at the very top of his game."

Another way to avoid dragging on is to limit the number of anecdotes. It is recommended that a best man tells no more than one or two extended stories. This ensures that the audience does not have to wait too long between laughs and that the speech does not lose its impact.

It is also important to be mindful of the audience's attention span. If the speech is going well, the best man should resist the temptation to add to it. An ill-considered ad lib can turn the crowd against the speaker. Once their attention starts to drift, it can be hard to get them back.

Finally, the best man should rehearse the speech beforehand. This will help to ensure that it stays within a reasonable time frame and that the delivery is smooth and confident.

Frequently asked questions