Zoroastrian Weddings: Morning Ceremonies And Traditions Explored

Zoroastrian weddings are religious ceremonies uniting a man and a woman in marriage, which is considered a pious duty and a holy union in Zoroastrianism. While the ceremonies are traditionally performed in the evening, they can also be held in the morning.

Zoroastrian wedding customs

Zoroastrian weddings are a mixture of cultures, combining local customs with Zoroastrian traditions. The rituals, ceremonies and festivities related to a wedding start as soon as a couple decide they want to marry.

Rupia Peravanu

The families of the betrothed come together to bless and support the couple. The bride-to-be's family home is decorated with torans (a decorative valance made from flowers, knitting, embroidered cloth or beads) and chalk designs. The groom's family visits the bride's family, bringing gifts of silver coins in a red brocaded bag. The bride's family reciprocates with a visit to the groom's family, also bearing gifts of silver coins. The exchange of silver coins is a token of the two families' agreement and commitment to the marriage.

Engagement

The engagement ceremony is held in the bride-to-be's family home. The groom-to-be's family present the bride with a set of new clothes, accessories and jewellery. The bride changes into her new clothes and the groom-to-be places a ring on her finger in a formal act of engagement. The two families then share food and drink to celebrate.

Pre-Wedding Festivities

The couple's families plant a tree in a pot, which is kept by the main entrance of their homes. The pot is painted by family members and a ritual is performed with it. The tree is kept there throughout the duration of the wedding and watered every day.

Adarni

Three days before the wedding, the groom's family visits the bride, bringing gifts of clothes, jewellery, cash and sweets. The bride's family treats the groom's family to a traditional meal.

Nahan or Nahn

The bride and groom perform a ritualistic bathing ceremony to purify their bodies and souls. After this, they are prohibited from touching anyone outside their family.

Arrival of the Couple

The groom is escorted to the stage by his father and two female relatives who carry the materials for the Achoo Michoo ritual. The bride enters with her father and female relatives who carry the Achoo Michoo materials. The bride and groom are seated on adjacent chairs.

Achoo Michoo

Performed by both the groom's and bride's sides, this ritual wards off any evil spirits or bad vibes directed towards the couple. The groom's mother applies a dot of kumkum on the bride's forehead and hands her a floral garland. The bride's mother applies a vertical tilak of kumkum on the groom's forehead and gives him a garland.

Var Behendoo

The groom dips his hand into a water-filled pot (part of his dowry) and drops a silver coin into it.

Ara Antar

A thick sheet is held between the bride and groom, preventing them from laying eyes on each other. This ritual of symbolic separation is known as Ara Antar.

Haathevaro and Chero Bandhvanu

The wedding ceremony is officiated by two priests. The priests place rice on the couple's outstretched hands and join their right hands. A string is wrapped around the couple's hands seven times as the priests recite the Ahunavar or Yatha Ahu Vairyo prayer.

Marriage Ceremony

The couple lights an oil lamp or candle to signify their spiritual union. The couple utters the Payman or vows of Payvand-e-Zanshooi during the Payvandnameh or wedding service. The priests offer advice to the couple, asking them to lead a blessed life of honesty, mutual respect and unhindered support. The priests then ask the couple three times whether they wish to marry, to which the couple replies "PasandeKardum". The couple exchanges wedding rings and are now considered married.

Post-Wedding Rituals

The bride's sister performs a customary hand-cleansing ritual for the groom. The groom is threatened by the bride's sister-in-law, who threatens to spill hot milk on his shoes unless he gives her a cash gift.

Visit to the Fire Temple

Some couples choose to visit a Fire Temple immediately after the wedding to seek blessings. The oil lamp or candle lit during the ceremony is kept lit throughout the marriage ceremony.

Reception

A grand reception is held after the wedding, with traditional Parsi food. The bride and groom are served food on a single plate and eat together, a custom known as dahikoomron.

The role of family and friends

Family

Zoroastrian weddings traditionally involve several members of the couple's families. The parents of the bride and groom play a significant role, as they are responsible for arranging the marriage with the consent of their children. In modern times, it is also common for the couple to make this decision independently and then consult their parents. The father of the bride or a senior male member of her family accompanies her to the wedding stage, while an elder lady from the groom's family takes the role of guiding the bride during the ceremony.

The families are involved in several pre-wedding customs and rituals. On the third day before the wedding, the groom's family visits the bride's home to exchange gifts, including clothes and jewellery, in a ritual known as Adarni. The bride may also visit the groom's home, but the groom does not reciprocate this visit. Relatives, neighbours, and friends are treated to a traditional meal during this exchange.

On the first day of the four-day wedding festivities, a twig of a tree, typically a mango tree, is planted near the door, symbolising a wish for fertility. This ritual, known as mândav-saro, is performed by a Mobed (priest) or a close male relative of the bride, preferably her uncle.

During the wedding ceremony, the bride is greeted at the door by her mother, who places a fresh Kunkun mark on the groom's forehead. The couple is then flanked by a pair of witnesses, usually married relations from both sides of the family.

Friends

Although the role of friends is not as prominently mentioned in Zoroastrian wedding traditions, they are included in some rituals and festivities. On the third day before the wedding, during the Adarni ritual, friends join the relatives and neighbours in partaking of the traditional meal.

Additionally, friends may be involved in some of the wedding festivities, such as the pre-wedding celebrations and the wedding feast, where toasts are made to God, the couple, sacred fire temples, guests, and the host.

Clothing and symbolism

Zoroastrian weddings are steeped in symbolism, with many rituals and customs to be observed. The clothing and symbolism of a Zoroastrian wedding are rich with meaning and tradition.

Clothing

The Zoroastrian wedding ceremony is a religious one, uniting a man and a woman. The bride wears a white ceremonial dress, known as the Jâmâ-pichhoir, and the groom sports the mark of a Kunkun on his forehead. The Kunkun is also placed on the groom's head upon arrival at the bride's house, where he is greeted by the mother of the bride. The groom is always seated to the right of the bride during the ceremony, as a sign of respect.

The bride's clothing is often gifted to her by the groom's family. The groom's mother will perform the achu michu ritual, a ritual to ward off evil and the evil eye, before presenting the bride with a red sari and bangles. The colour red is significant, as is the fire symbolised by it. The bangles are placed on the bride's arm by the groom's mother, a ritual that once held the same significance as the modern exchange of rings.

The bride's head is covered with a green silk shawl, from which hang gold coins. The shawl is kept in place by a heavy gold ornament that rests on the forehead. The bride also wears silver bangles, a gold ring set with an emerald, and a silver chain necklace with a talisman of Bas-relief of Zarathushtra.

Symbolism

Fire is an important symbol in the Zoroastrian faith, and candles are placed on either side of the couple during the ceremony. The sacred fire is also kept nearby in a small fire vase.

Rice is used as a good luck symbol, with the couple sprinkling each other with cupfuls of rice during the ceremony. The couple also sits facing the east, and an egg is passed around the groom's head three times to remove any evil destined for him. This is followed by similar rituals with a coconut and a small tray of water, all of which are then thrown to the ground.

The groom will also dip his hand into a water pot, the var-behendoo, which was part of the dowry, and into which he drops a silver coin as a mark of appreciation.

During the ceremony, the couple's hands are joined in a custom known as Hâthevârô, or "hand-fastening". A piece of cloth is passed around the chairs and tied together, enclosing them in a circle. Their right hands are then fastened seven times with raw twist while they grasp each other's hands.

The bride and groom are flanked by witnesses, usually married relations, and a curtain of cloth separates them. This curtain is dropped later in the ceremony, and the couple throw rice over each other, the first to do so being declared the winner.

The rituals also include the exchange of silver coins, which symbolise the agreement and commitment of the two families to the marriage.

On the day before the wedding, the groom's family arrives with a tray of henna, which is made into a paste and applied to the hands and feet of the bride, and then to their own hands and feet.

Zoroastrian weddings are rich with symbolism, with fire, rice, and the exchange of coins and gifts all playing important roles. The clothing of the bride and groom is also significant, with the groom's forehead marked, and the bride wearing white and adorned with gold and silver jewellery.

The marriage ceremony

The Zoroastrian marriage ceremony is steeped in tradition and ritual, with several customs observed before, during, and after the wedding. Here is a detailed description of the marriage ceremony:

The Day Before the Wedding

On the morning of the day before the wedding, the groom's family arrives at the bride's house with henna, gum tragacanth, soap, a comb, a small pouch, a piece of flint stone, and a cloth. The women pound the henna into a paste and apply it to the hands and feet of the bride and themselves. This ritual is followed by the gift of a copper basin and sweets from the bride's family to the groom's family.

The Wedding Day

On the wedding day, the groom's mother, sister, and selected relatives visit the bride's home to help her wash her hair and present her with a tray of shoes. The bride, in turn, gives her teachers, mother-in-law, and sisters-in-law a pair of shoes and a loaf of sugar, kissing their hands as she presents these gifts.

In the afternoon, the groom's deputy or best man arrives with four large wooden trays containing fruits, sweets, the bridal dress, and loaves of sugar for the bride and her family. The bride then dresses in the traditional attire, including a green silk shawl with gold coins and a silver necklace with a talisman of Zarathushtra.

At around 5 pm, the groom's family visits the bride's home again, this time with a tray of dinner, stew, and flowers. The guests from both families, the groom's deputy, and the priests are invited for dinner, which ceremoniously begins with the bride taking the first bite, followed by the groom's family placing a mouthful of food in her mouth and the mouths of her mother and sisters.

At about 8:30 pm, the groom's deputy asks the bride if she wishes to marry the groom. The bride pretends to be reluctant and lies down, covered with a green silk shawl. The deputy and his companions ask her eleven times, each time louder than the last, until she finally agrees. This performance symbolises the bride's family's reluctance to let her go and the groom's family's eagerness to win her over with gifts and persuasion.

The Wedding Ceremony

The Zoroastrian wedding ceremony consists of two stages: the signing of a marriage contract and the service followed by feasts and celebrations. The ceremony is performed by two priests and requires the mutual consent of the couple, who are asked thrice if they are marrying of their own free will.

During the ceremony, married female relatives hold a fine white scarf over the couple's heads while two crystallised sugar cones are rubbed together to symbolise a sweet life for the newlyweds. The priests then sew the two parts of the scarf together with needle and thread, symbolising the couple's union.

The bride and groom are given rice in their left hands, and at the end of the hand-fastening ritual, they throw the rice over each other. This "race of love" is believed to signify who will be foremost in loving and respecting the other.

The priests then proceed to ask a series of questions to the witnesses and the marrying couple, seeking their consent and agreement to the marriage. The senior priest recites blessings and prayers, including the Asirvad Prayer, seeking the Creator's blessings of progeny, prosperity, friendship, strength, and long life for the couple.

The ceremony concludes with the couple exchanging wedding rings, symbolising their lifelong commitment to each other.

Post-Wedding Celebrations

The wedding festivities traditionally last from three to seven days, with various rituals and customs observed during this period. Here is an overview of some post-wedding celebrations:

• Feast of the First Day: On the morning after the wedding, the bridegroom visits his father-in-law's home, presents him with a loaf of sugar, and sacrifices a sheep in his honour. The father-in-law roasts the sheep, and the bride's family prepares sweetmeats. They then take the roasted meat and sweetmeats to the groom's home for a feast with invited guests.
• The Concluding Dinner: In the afternoon, the families of the bride and groom prepare a soup with noodles and vegetables (aush). The bride helps prepare the soup, and guests place gifts for her in a headscarf. This meal marks the end of the wedding festivities.
• Pogoshi: The first party attended by the newlyweds is called pogoshi, meaning "clearing the path." During this celebration, the bride's mother-in-law or sister-in-law presents her with a tray of candy, a dress, and a headscarf with silver ornaments.

Zoroastrian weddings are rich in symbolism and ritual, with each element carrying a special meaning. The entire community comes together to celebrate the union of two individuals and their families, wishing them happiness, love, and prosperity for their lifelong journey together.

Post-wedding customs

While Zoroastrian weddings are steeped in tradition and ritual, they also incorporate customs from other cultures. The following are some post-wedding customs observed by Zoroastrians:

Feet Washing

After the wedding, the wife's sister washes the couple's feet.

Shoe Hiding

The wife's sister may also hide the couple's shoes and ask for a small ransom for their return.

Pogoshi

The first party the newlyweds attend as a couple is called a pogoshi, meaning "clearing the path". During the party, the bride's mother-in-law or sister-in-law presents her with a tray of candy, a dress, and a headscarf with silver ornaments.

The Concluding Dinner

The families of the newlyweds prepare a soup with noodles and vegetables (aush). The bride is taken to the kitchen to help prepare the soup, and guests place gifts for her in a headscarf, which is then given to her. This meal marks the end of the wedding festivities.

Post-Wedding Parties

In the days following the wedding, parties are held in honour of the newlyweds by both the bride's and groom's sides.

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