Mormon Wedding Guest Etiquette For Non-Mormons

In the Mormon faith, weddings are a sacred affair. Only members of the Church with current temple recommends can attend the wedding ceremony. This means that non-Mormons are not allowed to attend a Mormon wedding. However, most couples perform a ring ceremony outside the temple, which is similar to a traditional wedding ceremony, and non-Mormon family members can witness the marriage during this time.

Non-Mormons are excluded from temple weddings

Mormon weddings are typically held in temples, which are considered sacred places. Only members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS) are allowed to enter the temple and attend the wedding ceremony. This means that non-Mormons, as well as Mormons who do not hold a valid temple recommend, are excluded from the wedding ceremony.

To obtain a temple recommend, members must follow certain rules, including abstaining from alcohol, coffee, tea, and tobacco, as well as staying current with tithes and regularly attending church meetings. Each guest must possess their own temple recommend to be allowed into the temple.

The exclusion of non-Mormons from temple weddings can be difficult for couples, particularly when one partner comes from a non-LDS family. They are faced with the challenge of explaining to their non-Mormon family and friends that they cannot attend the wedding ceremony. This can come as a shock to many, including Christian families who may not understand the Mormon temple wedding traditions.

To include non-Mormon loved ones in the celebration, some couples choose to have two ceremonies: a civil ceremony that is open to everyone, followed by a temple wedding. However, in North America, there is a requirement to wait at least a year between a civil marriage and a temple wedding. In other countries, such as England, France, Japan, and Mexico, where Mormonism is not recognized as a legal marriage authority, a civil ceremony and a temple wedding can be held on the same day.

The decision to have a temple wedding can be a source of conflict and hurt feelings for those who are excluded. It can also create a wedge in the relationship between the couple and their non-Mormon family members, particularly the parents who may have looked forward to their child's wedding day their entire lives. While the couple may attempt to appease their non-Mormon family by having a ring ceremony or taking pictures with the wedding party after the temple ceremony, it is not the same as being able to attend the actual wedding.

The exclusion of non-Mormons from temple weddings is a highly controversial aspect of Mormon wedding traditions. It highlights the importance that Mormons place on having their wedding in a sacred temple, as well as the potential for alienation and hurt feelings among non-Mormon family and friends.

Mormons may have two ceremonies to include non-Mormon friends and family

The civil ceremony is a way to include non-Mormon friends and family in the wedding celebrations, as only Mormons are allowed to enter the temple. To attend a temple wedding, guests must have a temple recommendation from a church leader or bishop. This is only given to those who follow certain rules, including abstaining from coffee, tea, alcohol, and tobacco, as well as staying current with tithes and attending church meetings.

Having two ceremonies can be a solution for Mormon couples with non-Mormon relatives and friends, ensuring that everyone can witness and celebrate the couple's marriage. It can also help to minimise hurt feelings and contention that may arise when non-Mormons are excluded from the temple ceremony.

While the civil ceremony is a way to include everyone, the temple wedding is still a highly important part of the Mormon faith. It is believed that couples married in a temple are sealed for eternity, including into the afterlife. This is a treasured cornerstone of the faith, and so many Mormon couples choose to have both ceremonies, even if it means waiting a year or more between the two events.

The temple wedding ceremony includes blessings and promises made to the couple and their family, and the couple kneels in front of each other at an altar to exchange vows. The bride and groom wear bright white clothing, symbolic of purity, and may also wear bonnets and veils or green aprons with a fig leaf pattern. The ceremony typically lasts between 30 and 45 minutes.

By having two ceremonies, Mormon couples can honour their faith and cultural traditions while also ensuring that their non-Mormon loved ones can participate in the celebration. It is a way to balance the sacred nature of the temple wedding with the desire to include and honour friends and family who cannot attend the temple ceremony.

The temple is considered a sacred place

The temple is where Mormons perform sacred worship and make formal commitments to God. It is believed that weddings performed in the temple are sealed for time and eternity, lasting even after death. This belief is based on Bible verses about marriage and the Latter-Day Saints' belief that marriage is part of God's plan. The temple wedding ceremony may include readings from scripture, quotes, and guidance for the couple from trusted leaders. The ceremony also includes blessings and promises made to the couple and their family.

The temple is considered so sacred that only those who are deemed worthy by the church are allowed to enter. This worthiness is determined through an interview process, where members are asked questions about their chastity, honesty, and financial contributions to the church. Those who are not deemed worthy, including non-Mormons, are prohibited from entering the temple and, therefore, cannot attend temple weddings.

The exclusion of non-Mormons from temple weddings can be difficult for couples with non-Mormon friends and family. It can also cause hurt and resentment among those who are not allowed to attend. In some cases, couples choose to have two ceremonies, one civil and one temple, to include all their guests. However, in North America, there is a waiting period of at least a year between a civil ceremony and a temple wedding.

While non-Mormons may not be able to attend the temple wedding ceremony, they can still be included in other wedding celebrations, such as the reception and open house. These events often include traditional wedding elements such as the couple's first dance, parent dances, cake cutting, and a bouquet toss.

Non-Mormon parents may feel alienated by their child's decision

The exclusion of non-Mormons from temple weddings can be especially difficult for parents, who may have looked forward to their child's wedding since the child's birth. They may feel a sense of "parental attachment" and believe that their desire to attend the wedding is warranted. However, due to their religious beliefs, the couple may feel that they have no choice but to exclude their non-Mormon family members from the ceremony.

In some cases, the couple may try to appease their non-Mormon family members by having a separate ring ceremony or civil ceremony before or after the temple wedding. However, this may not be enough to ease the feelings of alienation and hurt that the non-Mormon parents may experience. They may still feel excluded and resentful that they are not allowed to witness their child's wedding.

The situation can also be challenging for the couple, as they may feel torn between their religious beliefs and their desire to include their family in this important life event. They may have to make difficult decisions and sacrifices, such as choosing to have a civil ceremony instead of a temple wedding or asking their family to respect their religious beliefs and understand why they cannot attend the ceremony.

Ultimately, the decision to have a Mormon wedding can be complicated and may cause tension and hurt feelings within families. It is important for both the couple and the non-Mormon parents to try to understand each other's perspectives and find ways to support and respect each other, even if they do not agree with each other's religious beliefs.

Civil ceremonies are allowed in some countries, but not in North America

Civil ceremonies are non-religious and are officiated by a government representative. They are legally binding, meaning there is no need for a separate trip to a courthouse to obtain a marriage license. In the United States, civil ceremonies are recognised in all 50 states. However, in some countries, civil ceremonies are not permitted.

In North America, there are varying state requirements for civil ceremonies. For example, in some states, there are restrictions on the number of guests that can be invited to a civil ceremony in a courthouse. Additionally, some states may require an appointment to obtain a marriage license, while others may operate on a first-come, first-served basis. It is important to check the specific requirements of the state or county where the ceremony will take place.

The officiant of a civil ceremony is typically a legal official, such as a judge, magistrate, justice of the peace, county or court clerk, or notary public. The exact requirements may vary depending on the location. The officiant is responsible for presiding over the ceremony and ensuring that it is legally recognised.

While civil ceremonies follow a similar basic structure to religious weddings, they offer more flexibility in terms of personalisation. Couples can choose to write their own vows, include special readings, select their own music, and incorporate unique symbols and rituals into the proceedings. This allows couples to create a meaningful and personalised ceremony that reflects their values and beliefs.

In summary, civil ceremonies are a popular alternative to religious weddings, offering a non-religious and legally binding option for couples. While civil ceremonies are allowed in some countries, they are not permitted in all regions, including North America, where specific requirements and restrictions may apply depending on the location.

Frequently asked questions