Junior Rasmussen
Selecting your bridal party is one of the most exciting parts of the wedding planning process. But what if you want more than one maid of honour?
Well, there are no rules when it comes to your wedding, and you can absolutely have two maids of honour if that's what you want. In fact, it's becoming increasingly common for brides to have both a maid of honour and a matron of honour, or to have two maids of honour sharing the duties. This can be a savvy move when it comes to the logistics of preparing for your big day, giving you more hands on deck and providing extra love and support.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of maids of honor | No limit, you can have two or more |
| Reasons for having two maids of honor | You are close with two people, they can help with wedding planning, and you want to avoid choosing between them |
| Dress | The two maids of honor can wear the same dress or different dresses |
| Bouquet | Each maid of honor can carry a different bouquet |
| Accessories | Each maid of honor can wear a glitzy belt or a special headpiece/hair clip |
| Walking down the aisle | The two maids of honor can walk down the aisle together |
| Standing order | The bride can decide who stands closest to her during the vows |
| Duties | The duties can be divided between the two maids of honor, e.g. one can give a speech at the rehearsal dinner, while the other can give a speech at the reception |
| Jealousy | Jealousy and clashing personalities may arise between the two maids of honor |
What You'll Learn
It's your wedding, your rules
It's your special day, so you should absolutely be allowed to bend the rules. If you're worried about offending anyone, remember that your true friends and family will respect your decision and will be honored to be a part of your wedding, even if they aren't the maid of honor.
That being said, there are a few things to keep in mind if you're considering having two maids of honor. Firstly, it's important to choose the right people for the role. Ask yourself why each person is important to you and what role they will play in your future. Pick someone who makes you feel calm and can handle any problems that may arise. It's also a good idea to make sure your maids of honor get along and can work together effectively.
Secondly, be clear about responsibilities and duties. Divvy up tasks according to each person's strengths and interests, and be specific to avoid any confusion or overlap. For example, one maid of honor could be in charge of the bachelorette party, while the other plans the bridal shower.
Finally, don't forget to show your appreciation for your maids of honor. It's a big job with lots of responsibilities, so be sure to thank them and show your love and gratitude.
So, if you're considering having two maids of honor, go for it! Just remember to be thoughtful and organized in your approach, and you'll have a dream team by your side on your big day.
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Dividing duties fairly
For example, one maid of honour could be in charge of the bachelorette party, while the other plans the bridal shower. If one is underage, she could focus on the bridal shower, while the other helps with the bachelorette festivities. One maid of honour could give a toast at the rehearsal dinner, while the other gives a speech at the reception.
If one maid of honour is local, she can help with tasks that require her physical presence, such as dress shopping and checking out venues. If the other lives far away, she can still be involved in the planning process by researching decoration ideas, wedding invitation styles, etiquette, and other research-intensive items.
It is also important to be clear about expectations and who is doing what to reduce friction and conflict. For example, if one maid of honour holds the bride's bouquet during the ceremony, the other can sign the marriage license afterward.
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Extra love and support
Having two maids of honour means you get extra love and support during the planning phases of your wedding and on the big day itself. This can be especially helpful if your friends or family members are busy with their daily lives.
If you're worried about things getting confusing, try to be very clear and specific with duties from the get-go. Give each maid of honour different roles and responsibilities so they don't step on each other's toes. For example, one could be in charge of the bachelorette party and the other could plan the bridal shower.
Having two maids of honour can also be useful when it comes to keeping the rest of the bridal party in line. If one of your maids of honour is underage, you could ask them to focus on the bridal shower while the other helps with the bachelorette festivities.
You can also ask them to work together on all their responsibilities, such as planning the bachelorette party or bridal shower, and helping with DIY projects.
Having two maids of honour means twice the help with wedding planning and twice the support for the bride.
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Clashing personalities
As the bride, you can minimise the likelihood of conflict by setting clear expectations and choosing personalities that you think will mesh well together. Jealousy is a common emotion when sharing a role, and those feelings could show up between your maids of honour. Conflicting ideas, spending more time with one person over the other, or not involving everyone equally can cause tension.
While you may have a lot on your plate, try to be mindful about including everyone. Keep lines of communication open by sharing why you may have one person doing certain duties versus another. Be clear about your expectations and who is doing what to reduce friction and conflict.
Before appointing your bridal party, you can plan a hangout to observe how your potential maids of honour interact with one another. This can give you a sense of how well they will get along.
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Jealousy
Having two maids of honour at a wedding is acceptable according to modern wedding etiquette. However, jealousy can be a common emotion when sharing the role.
It is important to be mindful and include everyone, keeping lines of communication open. Be clear about your expectations and who is responsible for what to reduce friction and conflict.
Before appointing your bridal party, consider having your two potential maids of honour meet up in a casual get-together. Observe how they interact with each other, as this may give you an idea of how well they will get along.
Ensure that you are choosing two maids of honour because it is what you truly want, and not because you are managing the expectations of others.
If one maid of honour is local and the other lives far away, assign tasks according to their physical presence. For example, the local maid of honour can help with dress shopping and checking out bachelorette party venues, while the other can look online for decoration ideas, wedding invitation styles, and research-intensive items.
Make sure they are involved equally and can split the financial requirements of fulfilling their roles. Foster a strong partnership between your maids of honour and ensure they communicate effectively and comfortably with each other.
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Frequently asked questions
Yes, you can have two maids of honor. It is your wedding, and you can do whatever you want. However, it is essential to understand the unspoken rules and modern wedding etiquette before making a decision.
If you are having trouble deciding, wedding planning professionals recommend asking yourself why you are hesitating and getting advice from experts. It is also important to ensure that you are choosing two maids of honor because it is what you truly want and not because you are managing the expectations of others.
A benefit of having two maids of honor is having more hands on deck and more love and support during the planning phase of your wedding and on your big day. A potential drawback is the possibility of clashing personalities and jealousy between the maids of honor.
