Weddings: Invitation Etiquette For The Modern Couple

Wedding invitations are a crucial part of wedding planning. They serve as the official announcement of the wedding, and set the tone for the event. While traditional wedding invitation wording is always a safe option, adding a creative twist can make your invitations stand out. The key details to include are the request to attend, the couple's names, reception information, and the date and time. The wording can be formal, fun, casual, or creative, reflecting the couple's personalities and the style of the wedding.

Host Line: The opening line names the host(s) of the wedding

The host line is the opening line of a wedding invitation and it names the hosts of the event. The wedding invitation wording traditionally begins with the names of the bride's parents as hosts, even if the wedding is a very formal affair. However, including the names of both sets of parents as hosts is a gracious option, no matter who is paying for the wedding.

One Set of Married Parents Hosting

Include the parents' full names, with middle names for very formal weddings. If they have different last names, write "and" to join the two names.

• Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Timothy Williams (very formal; the middle name is included)
• Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Williams (formal)
• Mr. and Mrs. Christopher and Sarah Williams (formal; includes both first names)
• Christopher and Sarah Williams (less formal)

One Set of Divorced Parents Hosting

Include the mother's name first, followed by the father's name. Do not use "and" to connect the two names; instead, give each name its own line.

Both Sets of Parents Hosting

For different-sex couples, list the bride's parents' names at the top of the invite, followed by the groom's parents' names. For same-sex couples, list the names according to preference or in the order that looks best with the invitation design.

• Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Wong and Mr. and Mrs. Adam Hollis (formal)
• Aaron and Alisha Wong together with Adam and Beatrice Hollis (less formal)

Couple Is Hosting With Their Families

When the couple and both of their families are contributing to the wedding, many choose to add a line such as "Together with their families" as the host line.

• Together with their families
• Together with our families
• Together with their parents

Couple Is Hosting

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, you can skip the host line altogether or start the invitation with a warm and welcoming introduction, such as:

• Together with full hearts
• With hearts full of love and joy

Attendance Request: Letting guests know what they're being invited to

When creating a wedding invitation, it is important to include all the necessary information, such as the names of the couple, the date, time, and location of the event, while also maintaining a tone that reflects the style of the wedding. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft the perfect invitation:

Host Line

The host line is a traditional element in wedding invitations. It is an excellent way to honour the couple's parents or families. If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, they can choose to skip the host line or begin the invitation with a warm and welcoming introduction:

"Together with full hearts"

"With hearts full of love and joy"

Request Line

This is where you extend the invitation to your guests and set the tone for the celebration. Here are some examples:

"Request the honour of your presence" (traditionally used for religious ceremonies)

"Request the pleasure of your company" (for non-religious ceremonies)

"Invite you to celebrate with them"

"Would love for you to join them"

Action Line

In this section, you provide details about the occasion. Here are some examples:

"At the marriage of their daughter" (if the bride's parents are hosting)

"At the celebration of their union" (if the couple is hosting)

"As they exchange their vows"

"In celebration of their love"

Couple's Names

Traditionally, the bride's name is listed first, followed by the groom's name. However, for same-sex couples, you can list the names alphabetically or based on the design of the invitation. You may also choose to include only first names for a less formal approach.

Date and Time

When stating the date and time, it is traditional to spell them out in full. For example:

"Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-four, at half past four in the afternoon"

Location

Provide the venue's name and city, state, or country if it is an international destination wedding. The street address is usually not included unless the venue is a private residence.

Reception Information

If the reception is at the same location as the ceremony, you can simply state, "Reception to follow." If it is at a different venue, include this information on a separate insert card, known as a reception card.

Dress Code

Including dress code information is optional, but it can be helpful for guests. If your wedding is black-tie, it is essential to mention this on the invitation. Otherwise, guests will infer the dress code based on the formality of the invitation.

Wedding Website

It is generally not recommended to include your wedding website on the main invitation card. Instead, provide this information on a separate insert card or an additional information card.

RSVP Details

Adding an RSVP card to your invitation is standard for formal events like weddings. Include a pre-addressed envelope for guests to return their responses. You can also provide multiple response options, such as email or phone, to make it more convenient for your guests.

Additional Information

If you have additional details to share, such as transportation or accommodation suggestions, you can include them on a separate information card enclosed with the invitation.

Remember, the key to creating effective wedding invitations is to provide clear and concise information while also reflecting the style and tone of your wedding. Feel free to add personal touches and choose wording that represents your relationship.

Couple's Names: The names of the couple, usually in larger text

The names of the couple are the most important part of the wedding invitation. They are usually displayed in larger text and often in a fancy typeface.

For different-sex couples, the bride's name typically goes first, followed by the groom's name. For example:

"The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of Jack Alexander Smith to Mason Jacob Kim"

"Together with their families: Olivia Rose Smith and John Michael Reyes"

"Jack Alexander Smith & Mason Jacob Kim"

For same-sex couples, the traditional rule of the woman's name first does not apply. Whether it's "Emily and Zara" or "Zara and Emily," it's a matter of preference. When writing their names, same-sex couples can choose to go in alphabetical order or simply use what sounds better. For example:

"Love is love, and [partner] and [partner] are getting married!"

"Join us as we celebrate the union of [partner] and [partner]"

"We're thrilled to announce that we're getting married! Please join us as we celebrate our love and commitment to each other"

If the couple has a different last name from their parents, or if their partner's parents are involved in hosting, their last name should be included.

Date and Time: Traditionally written out in full, but numerals are often used on modern invites

When it comes to wedding invitations, the date and time are crucial elements that require careful consideration. While traditions offer a time-honoured guide, modern adaptations allow for flexibility and creativity. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you navigate this aspect of your wedding invitation with ease.

Traditional Format

The traditional approach to writing the date and time on wedding invitations exudes elegance and formality. Here's a step-by-step breakdown:

• Day of the Week: Begin with the day of the week, capitalised and followed by a comma. For example, "Saturday,"
• Date: Continue with the date in words, using numerals only for dates above twenty. Add "th", "st", or "rd" as appropriate. For instance, "the twenty-sixth" for the 26th.
• Month: Proceed to write out the month in full, capitalising the first letter. There is no need for a comma after the date. For October, it would be "of October".
• Year: On a new line, spell out the year in full, such as "two thousand twenty-four". Avoid using "and" in the year.
• Time: Express the time as if describing the position of hands on a clock. Avoid using "o'clock" for half-hour marks. For 4:30 pm, write "half after four".
• Designations: Specify the time of day as "in the morning", "in the afternoon", or "in the evening". Noon can simply be written as "noon".

Here's an example of a traditional date and time wording: "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon."

Modern Adaptations

While tradition has its charm, modern adaptations offer a more relaxed approach. Here are some alternatives:

• Numerals: Opting for numerals is a contemporary choice. Write the date as "Saturday, 8/12/2023". Ensure consistency with other enclosures.
• Abbreviated Month: Instead of writing out the month in full, use the abbreviated form, such as "Aug." or "August".
• Informal Time: For a more casual feel, write the time using numerals and "a.m." or "p.m." For 4:30 pm, simply note "4:30 p.m."
• Omission of Designations: You may choose to omit designations like "in the morning" or "in the afternoon". However, always include them for times that could be ambiguous, such as 8:00 or 10:00.

An example of a modern date and time phrasing is: "Saturday, 6/17/2024, 4:00 p.m."

Final Thoughts

When deciding between traditional and modern formats, consider the tone and style of your wedding. Formal events often lean towards tradition, while casual celebrations embrace modern adaptations. Remember to maintain consistency throughout your invitation suite, ensuring a cohesive presentation.

Location: The name and address of the venue, including the state and zip code

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few different components to consider, including the outer envelope, the inner envelope, and the invitation itself. Here are some detailed instructions and examples for how to include the location and address of your wedding venue on your invitations:

Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope is the envelope that will be stamped and addressed to your guests. On this envelope, you will include the guests' names and addresses, as well as your return address. The format for addressing your guests will depend on their marital status, gender, and other factors, which have been outlined in the previous paragraphs.

When it comes to including the venue address on the outer envelope, you have a few options:

Formal Address:

Mr. John Corner and Mrs. Jenifer Corner

16 Faux Road

Fremont, California 94539

Casual Address:

Mr. John Corner and Mrs. Jenifer Corner

16 Faux Rd

Fremont, CA 94539

As you can see, the main difference between a formal and casual address lies in the use of abbreviations. In a formal address, you should spell out the full state name and avoid abbreviations whenever possible. In a casual address, you can use standard abbreviations for the street name, state, and zip code.

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is optional and is used to indicate the names of the guests invited. It is placed inside the outer envelope and contains the invitation itself. You do not need to include the venue address on the inner envelope.

Invitation:

On the invitation itself, you will include the name and city, state of the venue. Here is an example:

"Venue Name"

City, State

The street address of the venue is usually not included on the invitation unless the venue is a private residence. Zip codes are also typically omitted.

If your ceremony and reception are at the same location, you can simply add "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow" at the bottom of the invitation. If the reception is at a different venue, you can include this information on a separate insert card, known as a reception card.

"The Grand Hotel"

New York, NY

Remember to choose a wording style and format that aligns with the tone and formality of your wedding and be consistent throughout your invitation suite.

Frequently asked questions