Unconventional Bridesmaid Choices: Boys In The Bridal Party

It's your wedding, so you get to choose who stands by your side. If you're a bride with a best guy friend or a male relative you're close to, you might be considering having boys as bridesmaids. This is becoming more and more common, and it's a great way to include your favourite people in your wedding, regardless of their gender. If you do decide to have a male bridesmaid, you'll need to consider their attire and their duties on the day. You might also get some pushback from more traditional family members, but remember, it's your day!

What to call a male bridesmaid

There are many options for what to call a male bridesmaid, and ultimately, the choice is yours. The most common terms are "bridesman" and "man of honour", but some people dislike these options because they can sound like the male bridesmaid is the one getting married. For example, "bride's man" sounds like "my man", and "man of honour" can be confused with the groom, who is the "man of honour".

Some people choose to get creative with their terminology, using titles such as "bro of honour", "brides-bro", "bridesdude", or "beardsmaid". You can also use gender-neutral terms such as "honour attendant", "bride's attendant", "bridesmate", or "bride's person".

If you are unsure what to call your male bridesmaid, it is best to ask them what they prefer. This is especially important if you are not aware of their gender identity, as they may be comfortable with male pronouns or prefer non-binary terms.

Clothing and accessories for male bridesmaids

There are a few different ways to approach the attire of a male bridesmaid. Firstly, you could have him wear the same suit as the groomsmen, but with an accessory that matches the bridesmaids' dresses. This could be a tie, bow tie, pocket square, or boutonniere. Alternatively, you could choose a suit that blends in with the bridal party's colour scheme. If you want the bridesman to stand out, he could wear a different coloured suit or a unique tie, vest, or boutonniere.

If you want to keep things simple, you could have the male bridesmaid wear a shirt that matches the colour of the bridesmaids' dresses. You could also give him a bouquet or flower crown to hold, or a tie that matches the colour scheme of the bridesmaids' bouquets.

It's important to remember that there are no rules when it comes to wedding attire. The most important thing is to choose an outfit that feels right for the individual and complements the overall wedding party.

Responsibilities of male bridesmaids

While there is no rulebook for the responsibilities of a male bridesmaid, or "bridesman", there are several duties that are typically expected of bridesmaids that can be adapted to suit a male counterpart.

Before the wedding, a bridesman might be expected to help plan and pay for pre-wedding parties, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. They should also attend any other pre-wedding events, like the engagement party, wedding shower, and rehearsal dinner. It is also customary to buy a wedding present.

On the day of the wedding, a bridesman should be prepared to help the bride get ready, such as by assisting with her dress, shoes, jewellery, or veil. They should also be on hand to help the maid of honour with any tasks she might need assistance with, such as making a last-minute run to the drugstore or coordinating with the photographer.

In terms of attire, a bridesman can either match the groomsmen or stand out by wearing a different-coloured suit. The key is to complement the bridesmaids' dresses, which can be achieved through coordinating neckties or bowties.

A bridesman can also be a helpful messenger between the bridesmaids and groomsmen while everyone is getting ready. They can also supply extra muscle for heavy lifting during the setup and breakdown of the wedding.

Pre-wedding activities and events

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and it's normal to wonder if you should host pre-wedding events and activities. While it's not necessary, these events can be a fun way to bring your loved ones together before the big day. Here are some ideas to consider:

Engagement Party

An engagement party is often the first pre-wedding event, hosted by family or friends, or both! It's common to have more than one, especially if you have loved ones in different cities. Unlike wedding showers, engagement parties don't require gifts, but you may still receive a few. It's important to only include guests who will also be invited to your wedding.

Wedding Showers

Also known as bridal showers, these parties honour the couple with fun games, food, and gifts. They can take various forms, such as a couple's shower where both the bride and groom are present, or a stock-the-bar party where guests provide alcohol and barware. Wedding showers are usually hosted by close friends or family and typically occur in the latter half of your engagement.

Bachelorette/Bachelor Party

The bachelorette/bachelor party is a well-known pre-wedding event, where the bride/groom celebrates with their bridesmaids/groomsmen or a group of close friends. It can be a relaxing staycation, a destination trip, or a visit to a favourite city. It's important to communicate about budget and activities in advance to avoid surprises.

Bridal Brunch/Bridesmaids Luncheon

The bridal brunch, also known as a bridesmaids luncheon, is usually hosted a few days before the wedding. This event is an opportunity to thank the women who have supported you during the wedding planning process. Mothers, in-laws, or other female relatives can also host or co-host this event. It's customary to allow them to invite a few friends who will be attending the wedding as well.

Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is a gathering for your wedding party and families to get acquainted. This is usually the largest event before the wedding and can require substantial planning in terms of location, timing, invitations, and décor.

Welcome Party

The welcome party is the final event before your wedding and serves as another opportunity for out-of-town guests to mingle. It can be as simple or extravagant as you like and is open to all your wedding guests, but their attendance is not required.

Other Ideas

• Boat excursions or cruises
• Scavenger hunt
• Sound bath or yoga session
• Cooking class
• Adventure sports or activities unique to your wedding destination
• Spa treatments
• Local spirit-tasting
• Horseback riding

Remember, the most important thing is to choose activities that feel right for you and your partner. Whether you decide to host a few events or focus solely on the wedding day, your loved ones will understand and support your decision.

Mixed-gender wedding parties

There are no rules when it comes to your wedding, and you can plan it however you want. More and more couples are choosing to mix things up and have a mixed-gender wedding party, with bridesmen and groomswomen standing beside them.

A bridesman is a male equivalent of a bridesmaid, often a close male friend or family member of the bride. A male bridesmaid can be referred to as a bridesman, man of honour, the bride's best man, or something unique to your relationship. The same goes for a female groomsman, who can be called a groomswoman, best woman, or best person. Ultimately, what you call them is your choice.

If you decide to have a male bridesmaid, you may want to make all of your wedding events non-gendered. For example, you could have a couple's wedding shower or a joint bachelor-bachelorette party.

When it comes to attire, there are a few options. A bridesman could wear the same suit as the groomsmen, but with a different tie, vest, or boutonniere. Alternatively, he could wear a different-coloured suit to stand out. The key is to complement the bridesmaids' dresses. For a more mix-and-match style, choose a wedding colour palette and pick clothing for everyone that coordinates.

The role of a bridesman is similar to that of a bridesmaid. He can help with planning, offer emotional support, and run errands on the day of the wedding. He can also be the fun one who breaks the ice and gets the dancing started at the reception.

Frequently asked questions