Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding on a guest list. The most important thing to remember is that it's your wedding, and you should invite the people you want to celebrate with. This might include close friends and family, as well as people you've lost touch with but would like to reconnect with. It's also worth considering your budget and venue capacity when creating your guest list.
When it comes to inviting people, there are a few different ways to go about it. You can send out formal wedding invitations, which traditionally include the host's name, the couple's names, the ceremony details, and any post-ceremony plans. You can also be more casual in your approach, such as sending a message to your desired guests explaining that you'd love to celebrate your special day with them.
Remember, it's your wedding, and you can invite whoever you choose. Don't feel pressured to invite people out of obligation or because of what others think.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Formality | Formal or informal |
Host | Bride's parents, both sets of parents, couple, couple and their families |
Tone | Religious or non-religious |
Language | Formal or casual |
Guests | Family, friends, colleagues, children, plus-ones |
Date, time and location
The date, time, and location of the wedding are essential details that should be included in the invitation. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft this section of the invitation:
Provide Clear and Specific Information:
Spell out the date, time, and location in full to avoid any confusion. For example:
"Saturday, the seventh of May, two thousand twenty-three, at four o'clock in the afternoon"
Or
"The fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-three, at half past six in the evening."
Include the Day of the Week:
Don't forget to include the day of the week, especially if your wedding is on a weekend. This will help guests plan their attendance and avoid scheduling conflicts.
Be Mindful of the Time of Day:
When specifying the time, consider using phrases like "in the morning," "in the afternoon," or "in the evening" to provide clarity. For example:
"at five o'clock in the afternoon"
Or
"half past six in the evening."
Provide the Full Address of the Venue:
When mentioning the location, include the name of the venue, as well as the city and state. For example:
"The wedding will be held at The Grand Hotel, located in Heartville, Evergreen State."
Consider Including Travel Information:
If you have guests travelling from out of town, you may want to include additional travel information or accommodation suggestions to make their trip planning easier.
Mention Any Dress Code or Theme:
Let your guests know if there is a specific dress code or theme they should adhere to. This could range from formal attire to a particular colour scheme or cultural theme.
"We invite you to share in our joy as we exchange wedding vows on Saturday, the twentieth of April, two thousand twenty-three, at three o'clock in the afternoon. The ceremony will take place at the Gardenia Country Club, located in Blossom Valley, Sunny State."
"Join us as we celebrate the union of [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] on Friday, the twelfth of July, two thousand twenty-three, at six o'clock in the evening. The address is Oceanview Manor, Blue Coast Drive, Seaside Town."
"With great pleasure, we invite you to be a part of our special day as we unite in marriage. The date is set for Sunday, the twenty-fifth of March, two thousand twenty-three, at eleven o'clock in the morning. The ceremony and reception will be held at the Historic Manor House, located in Old Town, Charmingshire."
"Kindly join us for an intimate celebration of love as we tie the knot on Saturday, the thirtieth of June, two thousand twenty-three, at sunset. The exact location is The Lakeview Gazebo, Lakeside Lane, Serenity Village. A map and additional details will be provided with the RSVP."
Remember to include a separate reception card or mention the reception details on the invitation if it is held at a different location or if a specific dress code or theme is required for the reception.
These examples provide a guide, and you can customise them to match your wedding theme and tone, whether it's a chic, traditional, country, or bohemian-style celebration.
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Dress code
When deciding on the dress code for your wedding, it's important to consider the mood you want to set, the time of day, the venue, the season, and your comfort and style preferences. Here are some common dress code options for weddings, along with wording examples for your invitation:
White Tie
White tie is the most formal dress code, typically seen at royal events and balls. Men usually wear tailcoats with white bow ties, while women wear floor-length evening gowns or ball gowns. Accessories can include gloves, fine jewellery, and tiaras.
Invitation Wording: "We request the honor of your presence at our white tie wedding on [date]. Please join us in full evening dress to make this night exceptionally grand."
Black Tie
Black tie is a formal dress code, often chosen for evening weddings. Men typically wear tuxedos, while women wear floor-length gowns. It's important to note that "black tie" refers to the level of formality and does not dictate a colour palette.
Invitation Wording: "You are cordially invited to the wedding of [name] and [name] on [date]. To honor this special occasion, we kindly request that you dress in black tie attire. Let’s make this a night of timeless elegance and unforgettable memories."
Black Tie Optional
Black tie optional still encourages formal attire but gives guests more flexibility. Men can choose a suit and tie over a tuxedo, and women can opt for a floor-length dress that is not a full evening gown.
Invitation Wording: "We are excited to celebrate with you! Our wedding will be a Black Tie Optional affair, so feel free to wear a tuxedo or a formal suit. We can't wait to see you looking your best!"
Creative Black Tie
Creative black tie is a unique twist on the classic black-tie dress code. Guests can wear outfits with bold patterns and materials, such as velvet suits or sequined cocktail dresses, adding a touch of flair to the formal celebration.
Cocktail Attire
Cocktail attire is semi-formal and is often chosen when couples want a formal but slightly relaxed atmosphere. Knee-length cocktail dresses or tie-optional suits are appropriate for this dress code.
Invitation Wording: "Join us for a stylish evening as we celebrate our wedding on [date]. Dress Code: Cocktail Attire. We look forward to seeing you in your chic and elegant outfits!"
Semi-Formal Attire or Dressy Casual
Semi-formal attire is a step down from cocktail attire and is most common for daytime weddings. Men can wear a dress shirt and well-tailored jacket and pants, while women can opt for a below-the-knee dress, a dressy skirt and top, or an elegant pantsuit. Dressy casual is similar to business casual, with polished options such as a button-down shirt or a posh summer dress.
Invitation Wording: "Please join us for an evening of celebration as we tie the knot. Dress Code: Semi-Formal. We look forward to seeing you in your stylish and smart attire."
These are just a few examples of dress codes and invitation wording ideas. You can also consider other options like festive attire, garden party attire, casual attire, beach formal, or even a themed dress code to fit your wedding's unique style and atmosphere.
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Post-ceremony plans
Planning a wedding involves a lot of work, but it can be made easier by breaking it down into smaller tasks. Here is a detailed post-ceremony plan to help you navigate the process:
Finalize the Guest List
Deciding on the number of guests to invite can be challenging. Consider your budget and the venue capacity when determining the headcount. Traditionally, the guest list is divided among the couple and both sets of parents. If you and your partner are financing the wedding, allocate about 70% of the invites for yourselves and split the remaining 30% between both families.
Send Out Save-the-Dates
Once you have a tentative guest list, send out save-the-date cards to inform your guests about the wedding date and location. This will allow them to make any necessary travel arrangements, especially if you're planning a destination wedding. Everyone who receives a save-the-date card should also get a formal wedding invitation later.
Hire a Wedding Planner
Engaging a wedding planner can be immensely helpful, as they will guide you through various decisions and handle the logistics. A wedding planner will ensure that no detail is overlooked, allowing you to enjoy the process and minimize stress.
Determine the Formality and Theme
Discuss with your partner the overall vibe and theme you envision for your wedding. This conversation will guide many other decisions, including the venue, attire, and decorations. Consider what is important to both of you and how you want your special day to feel.
Choose a Venue
Selecting a venue is one of the most critical decisions, as it affects guest count, style, and budget. Visit and explore different options, trusting your instincts and how you feel at each location. The venue should align with your vision and accommodate your guest count comfortably.
Purchase Wedding Insurance
Weddings are a significant financial investment, so it is prudent to obtain special event insurance to protect against any unforeseen issues or liabilities. You can apply for coverage as soon as you start planning or once you have secured a venue.
Select a Caterer
Your wedding caterer will play a crucial role in creating a memorable dining experience for you and your guests. Choose a caterer you trust, whether it's the venue's in-house caterer or a preferred external vendor. Don't be afraid to get creative with the menu, perhaps even including your favorite cocktail or a special dessert.
Choose a Color Palette and Design
Now is the time to gather inspiration and select a color palette that reflects your style. Create a mood board, browse Pinterest, or consult wedding planning resources for ideas. This color palette will guide many aesthetic decisions, from decorations to attire.
Hire Key Vendors
Vendors such as photographers, bands or DJs, and videographers are in high demand and book up quickly. Research and hire these professionals early to ensure you have your top choices available for your special day.
Send Out Invitations
Order your wedding invitations and hire a calligrapher, if desired, to add a personalized touch. Remember to order extra invitations to account for any mistakes, and set up a system to record RSVP replies. Include a self-addressed, pre-stamped envelope for guests to send back their responses.
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RSVP details
When it comes to RSVPs, there are a few key things to keep in mind to ensure your guests have all the information they need to respond to your invitation. Here are some detailed instructions and suggestions for your RSVP details:
RSVP Date
It is customary to set an RSVP date about three to four weeks before the wedding date. This will give you enough time to finalise the guest list and provide a final headcount to your caterer and other vendors. The RSVP date can be included on a separate response card that matches your wedding invitation suite.
Wording the RSVP
Maintain consistency in the tone and formality of the wording between your invitation and RSVP card. For example, if your invitation says "The honour of your presence," the RSVP card can say, "The favour of a reply." For a less formal invitation, the RSVP wording could be "Kindly reply by" or "Please respond by."
Guest Names
Include a line on the RSVP card where guests can write their names, along with checkboxes or another method for them to accept or decline the invitation. The traditional "M" line can be used to indicate where guests should write their names, or you can simply use "Name(s)" for a less formal approach.
Additional Information
You may also want to include additional details on the RSVP card, such as meal choices or a song request line. If you are having a seated dinner with multiple entrée options, providing guests with meal choices in advance will help your caterer prepare the appropriate quantities. A song request line can add a fun and interactive element, allowing guests to request a song they would like to hear at the wedding.
Reception Information
If your wedding reception is at the same location as the ceremony, a simple "Reception to follow" at the bottom of the invitation is sufficient. However, if the reception is at a different venue, include a separate reception card with the event details as part of the invitation suite. Provide the full name of the venue and its address, and consider including any relevant information about transportation or parking.
Online RSVP Options
In addition to traditional paper response cards, you may also want to offer an online RSVP option through your wedding website. This can make it easier for guests to respond and for you to keep track of responses. Include the wedding website URL on a separate card or at the bottom of the invitation, along with instructions for online RSVPs.
Following Up with Guests
Even with all the necessary information provided, there may be guests who forget to respond by the deadline. It is a good idea to follow up with these guests via phone, email, or text to confirm their attendance or regrets. This will help ensure you have an accurate headcount for your final preparations.
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Hosts
The hosts of a wedding are usually the people who are paying for the wedding. Traditionally, this is the bride's parents, but it is becoming more common for both sets of parents to host, or for the couple to host the wedding themselves.
If the bride's parents are hosting, the first line of the invitation might read:
> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
If both sets of parents are hosting, you can list them together:
> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
> along with Mr. and Mrs. Richard Charles
If the couple is hosting, you can skip the host line altogether or start with a warm and welcoming introduction, such as:
> Together with full hearts
> With hearts full of love and joy
If the couple is hosting with their families, you can add a line such as:
> Together with their families
> Together with our families
> Together with their parents
If you want to include the names of the couple's parents in the invitation, but they are not hosting, you can list them under the couple's names, followed by "son of" or "daughter of".
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Frequently asked questions
Wedding invitations should be sent out 6-8 weeks before your wedding date if you’ve already sent out save-the-dates. If you didn't send save-the-date cards, you may want to send your invitations about 3 months in advance. If you're having a destination wedding or you know that many guests will be travelling, it's a good idea to send them out a few weeks earlier.
The invitations should include the hosts, the couple, the venue, and the start time. Anything else can be included on details/enclosure cards or on your wedding website.
Yes, it is considered proper etiquette to include the host's address and postage on the envelopes for RSVP cards.