The Tradition Of Wedding Cake Throwing: Why Do They?

Smashing cake into your partner's face on your wedding day has become a popular tradition, with the #cakesmash hashtag receiving over 449 million views on TikTok. But why do people do it? The tradition has evolved from ancient Roman weddings where barley cakes were crumbled over the bride's head for good luck. This evolved into the throwing of crumbs and then rice. Today, the cake smash is meant to be a playful tradition, but it can also be seen as a symbol of mistrust and a predictor of future divorce.

Smashing cake is a symbol of trust and commitment

Smashing cake into each other's faces is a wedding tradition that has been around for several decades. While the practice may seem like a harmless way to add humour to a celebratory occasion, it is worth noting that it has also been associated with trust and commitment in a relationship.

The tradition of cake-smashing at weddings is believed to have evolved from the ancient Roman practice of crumbling barley cakes over the bride's head for good luck and to symbolise male dominance and encourage fertility. Over time, this evolved into the bride and groom feeding each other cake as a symbol of their commitment to provide for one another and their trust in each other.

The act of smashing cake into each other's faces can be seen as a playful and affectionate way for the couple to demonstrate their trust and commitment. It is a unique moment during the wedding when the couple can let go of their nerves and embrace the fun and excitement of the celebration.

However, it is important to note that not everyone interprets the cake-smashing tradition in a positive light. Some people, including wedding planners and etiquette experts, frown upon the practice, considering it disrespectful and demeaning, especially when it is done without consent. Dr Becky Spelman, for example, suggests that a nonconsensual wedding cake smash could highlight issues related to control, disrespect, or disregard for boundaries.

Ultimately, the decision to smash cake into each other's faces should be left to the couple, with both members of the bridal couple needing to be on board with the ritual before it begins. As Courtney Geigle, co-owner of the online wedding marketplace My Wed Style, wisely states, "Overall, weddings should be a display of love and affection, not a battle for dominance over 'who takes the cake.'"

The tradition is ancient, dating back to Roman weddings

The tradition of throwing cake at weddings is indeed ancient, dating back to Roman weddings. In ancient Rome, weddings would conclude with a barley cake being smashed over the bride's head. This tradition was to symbolise male dominance and to encourage fertility—crumbs falling to the floor were seen as good fortune and guests would rush to collect them.

Over time, this tradition evolved into the throwing of crumbs, and then later, rice. The modern wedding cake was born during the reign of King Charles II of England, when icing was added to the barley cake. This is also when the practical method of slicing the cake on a table and sharing it amongst guests was introduced.

The tradition of cake-smashing has been around for several decades, with some seeing it as a fun, playful addition to the typical cake-cutting ceremony. However, it has also been criticised as a waste of good cake, and there are unsubstantiated rumours that it may even be a predictor of future divorce.

Despite the potential problems, many people defend cake smashing as a way to add humour to the celebration. It is an evolution of the wedding cake's role in the nuptials, providing a lighthearted moment for guests to enjoy.

It can be a sign of a couple's dynamic and likelihood of divorce

The wedding cake smash is a tradition that has been around for several decades, with the groom holding the bride's hand as she cuts the cake, before she attempts to feed him but smashes it into his face. The groom then wipes the cake off "apologetically", which is supposed to show the bride being "once again obedient to his wiser judgment".

However, the tradition has been criticised as demeaning to women and a "comedic ritual that sustains masculine prerogatives". Some people believe that the way a couple performs the wedding cake smash can be a sign of their dynamic and the likelihood of divorce.

For example, a pastor who regularly performs weddings wrote about how he can predict the likelihood of divorce based on how the wedding cake is exchanged. He explains that the cake-cutting moment is unique because the couple is nervous, it comes at the end of a long day, and it requires them to do something unusual. He believes that this moment can reveal which is more important to the couple: the relationship or one spouse's reputation.

• Force: If one spouse uses too much force, it may indicate a lack of gentleness and respect in the relationship, which is an important trait in a healthy marriage.
• Revenge: If the cake exchange becomes a battle of revenge, it may be a sign that the couple will struggle to handle disagreements constructively.
• Pride: If one or both spouses can't lose gracefully, it may indicate a lack of humility and the potential inability to submit to their partner during difficult times.
• Contempt: If the cake smash turns into an opportunity to disrespect one's spouse, it may be a red flag for the future of the relationship.

It can be seen as disrespectful and a waste of good cake

The tradition of throwing cake at weddings is a messy affair and can be seen as disrespectful and a waste of good cake.

The tradition of cake-smashing at weddings has been around for several decades, and while some may find it playful and exciting, others may view it as disrespectful and a waste of perfectly good cake. Wedding cake smashing is believed to have originated from ancient Roman weddings, where barley cakes were crumbled or smashed over the bride's head to symbolise male dominance and encourage fertility. This evolved into the throwing of crumbs, and later, rice.

The modern version of cake-smashing is often seen as a playful tradition and has gained popularity on social media platforms like TikTok, with the #cakesmash hashtag receiving over 449 million views. However, some people argue that it is a waste of food, with wedding cakes costing anywhere between $1.50 and $12 per slice. It can also ruin clothes, hair, and makeup, and cause sticky messes that can be a health and safety hazard.

In addition to the mess and waste, cake-smashing can be seen as disrespectful and a predictor of future divorce. Dr Becky Spelman, a psychologist, warns that a nonconsensual wedding cake smash could highlight issues related to control, disrespect, or disregard for boundaries. This is especially true if one partner forcefully shoves cake into the other's face, which can be a sign of dominance and a lack of respect for their spouse's dignity.

While some may argue that cake-smashing adds humour and excitement to the celebration, it is important to consider the potential negative connotations and ensure that both members of the couple are comfortable with the ritual before proceeding.

It's a prankish offshoot of the feeding each other cake tradition

The tradition of throwing cake at weddings is likely a prankish offshoot of the feeding each other cake tradition. The feeding of cake is a symbol of trust and commitment to provide for one another. However, the meaning is often lost, and the tradition has evolved into a playful moment between the couple.

The act of smashing cake into each other's faces can be seen as a lighthearted moment that adds humour to the celebration. It is believed to have originated from ancient Roman weddings, where barley cakes were crumbled over the bride's head for good luck and to encourage fertility. This evolved into the throwing of crumbs and later, rice.

While it is meant to be a fun and exciting tradition, some people view it as disrespectful and a waste of good cake. It can also be risky, with potential issues related to control, disrespect, and disregard for boundaries. There are also health and safety concerns, as it can lead to injuries, and ruin clothes, hair, and makeup.

Despite the potential drawbacks, the cake smash has gained popularity, especially on social media platforms like TikTok, with the #cakesmash hashtag receiving over 449 million views. It is important to note that for some, the cake smash tradition may be seen as a fun and playful way to add humour to their wedding celebration.

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