Wedding Invites: Confidentiality And Privacy Etiquette

Wedding invitations are a chance to showcase your personality and give your guests all the information they need to celebrate with you. From the invitation design to the wording, there are many ways to make your wedding invitations unique. Here are some tips and guidelines to help you create the perfect wedding invitations.

The host line

Bride's Parents Hosting

A traditional way to word this would be:

> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Jane Marie to Mr. Jeffrey James Johnson, son of Mr. and Mrs. Jack Johnson.

If the bride's parents are divorced, the mother's name would come first, followed by the father's name on a separate line:

> Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jennifer Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Jane Marie to Mr. Jeffrey James Johnson.

Groom's Parents Hosting

A formal way to word this would be:

> Mr. and Mrs. Jack Johnson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Jane Marie Smith to their son, Jeffrey James Johnson.

Both Sets of Parents Hosting

If both sets of parents are hosting, the bride's parents' names are listed first, followed by the groom's:

> Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Jack Johnson request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children, Jane Marie and Jeffrey James.

Bride and Groom Hosting with Both Families

In this case, you can include both sets of parents and then the couple:

> Jane Marie Smith and Jeffrey James Johnson, together with their parents, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Jack Johnson, invite you to celebrate their marriage.

Bride and Groom Hosting

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, they can skip the host line or start with a warm introduction:

> Amal Alamuddin and George Timothy Clooney request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their marriage.

Honouring a Deceased Parent

To honour a deceased parent, use the phrase "the late" before their name. For example:

> Jane Marie, daughter of Tess and the late John Smith, requests the honour of your presence at her marriage to Mr. Jeffrey James Johnson, son of Mr. and Mrs. Jack Johnson.

Remember, these are just some examples and you can adapt the wording to fit your unique situation and style. The key is to be clear and informative while also adding a personal touch.

The request line

• "Request the pleasure of your company"
• "Invite you to celebrate with them"
• "Request the honour of your presence" (the British spelling of "honour" indicates the ceremony will be held in a church or another house of worship)
• "Would love for you to join them"
• "At the marriage of their daughter/children" (if the parents are hosting)
• "At the celebration of their union" (if the couple is hosting)
• "As they say 'I do'!"
• "In celebration of their marriage"

When deciding on the request line, it's important to consider the formality of the wedding. For a formal wedding, the request line can be more traditional and elegant, while for a casual wedding, a more light-hearted and informal tone can be used.

Additionally, the request line can be customised to reflect the couple's personality and the overall theme of the wedding. For example, a fun and informal couple might use a request line like "Being the party animals they are, invite you to sip fizz and dance the night away!"

It's also worth noting that the request line can be tailored to include the names of the couple, especially if they are hosting the wedding themselves. For example:

• "Jessica and Jane are getting hitched!"
• "Join us to celebrate our wedding"
• " [Couple name] invite you to share in our joy as we get married"

In conclusion, the request line is an opportunity to set the tone for the wedding and extend a warm invitation to the guests. By choosing an appropriate request line, couples can ensure that their guests feel welcomed and excited to celebrate this special day with them.

The couple's names

Both sets of parents are hosting

For a formal wedding where both sets of parents are hosting, the invitation can read:

> Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Wong and Mr. and Mrs. Adam Hollis request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children, [Bride] and [Groom].

For a less formal affair, the invitation can be worded as:

> Aaron and Alisha Wong, together with Adam and Beatrice Hollis, invite you to share in the joy of their children's wedding.

Couple is hosting with their families

When the couple and their families are contributing financially, the invitation can begin with:

> Together with their families/parents, [Couple] invite you to celebrate with them.

Couple is hosting

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, the host line can be skipped, or replaced with a warm and welcoming introduction, such as:

> Together with full hearts, [Couple] invite you to their wedding.

Honouring a deceased parent

A common way to honour a deceased parent is to include this information alongside the couple's names. For example:

> Lauren Martinez, daughter of Robert Martinez and the late Marta Martinez, and [Partner's Name].

Couple with one hyphenated last name

For a couple where one spouse has chosen to hyphenate their last name, the invitation can be worded as:

> Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft request the honour of your presence at the wedding of their sons, [Couple].

Unmarried couple

For an unmarried couple living at the same address, the invitation can be addressed to both individuals on one line, with the person closest to the couple listed first:

> Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee, together with their families, invite you to witness their union.

Same-sex couple

The traditional rule of the woman's name coming first does not apply to same-sex couples. Alphabetical order or what sounds best are good guidelines to follow. Here's an example:

> Emily and Zara invite you to join them on their special day.

Couple with distinguished titles

For couples with distinguished titles, such as doctors, military personnel, or judges, the same rules apply as for other couples. The person with the higher rank or title is listed first, regardless of gender. For example:

> The Doctors Smith request your presence at the wedding of their daughter, [Bride], to [Groom].

Couple with different last names

In the case of a heterosexual couple with different last names, the invitation can read:

> Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez invite you to join them as they exchange vows.

Couple with similar last names

If the couple has similar last names, the invitation can be worded as:

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren invite you to share in the joy of their union.

Remember, these are just guidelines, and you can personalise the invitations to match your style and tone.

The date and time of the ceremony

Formatting the Date

The traditional way to write the date is to spell it out completely, using words instead of numerals. For example, if your wedding is on Saturday, October 26, 2024, the date would be written as "Saturday, the twenty-sixth of October, two thousand twenty-four". Here are some key points to keep in mind:

• Capitalize the day of the week (unless your invitation font is all uppercase or lowercase) and separate it from the date with a comma.
• For dates from the 21st to the 31st of a month, use a hyphen between the tens and ones place (e.g., "the twenty-sixth").
• Capitalize the month and spell it out fully without abbreviations.
• The year is typically written on a separate line from the day and month. Avoid using a comma between the month and year.
• For the year, write "two thousand twenty-four" instead of using numerals or adding "th" after the year (e.g., avoid "2024th").
• Including the day of the week and the year is recommended but not mandatory.
• For a more casual wedding, you can use a more informal date format, such as "Saturday, May 17, 2025".
• Maintain consistency in date formatting throughout your invitation suite, including any enclosures like the response card.

Formatting the Time

There are several options for writing the time of the ceremony:

• For a formal wedding invitation, write out the time in full using words instead of numerals. For example, 3:30 p.m. would be written as "half after three o'clock".
• Formal invitations traditionally use the phrase "half after" instead of "half past" for times on the half-hour.
• The time should be written in lowercase letters.
• You don't need to specify "in the morning," "in the afternoon," or "in the evening" unless the wedding is scheduled for 8, 9, or 10 a.m. or p.m., where there could be ambiguity.
• For weddings at noon, simply write "noon".
• For a more casual event, you can use numerals for the time, such as "4pm" or "5:30pm". Ensure that the format matches the level of formality in writing the date.
• Avoid including separate start times for the ceremony and other events like the cocktail hour or reception on the main invitation.

Providing Timing Details

• Typically, the main invitation only includes the date and time of the ceremony.
• If the reception immediately follows the ceremony in the same location, you can add a phrase like "reception to follow" or "dinner and dancing to follow" at the bottom of the invitation.
• If the reception is at a different location or is significantly delayed, include a separate reception card with the details as part of your invitation suite.
• Traditionally, the end time of the ceremony and reception is not included on the wedding stationery. If you feel it's necessary, you can provide this information on your wedding website.
• It is generally not recommended to put an earlier start time on the invitation to account for potential lateness. Guests usually arrive on time or early for wedding ceremonies.

Remember to be consistent in your formatting and maintain a level of formality that matches the style of your wedding and invitation design. Working with a stationer can help you refine the wording and layout to ensure a polished and informative invitation.

The location of the ceremony and reception

Providing Clear and Detailed Information:

• Include both the ceremony and reception locations, even if they are at the same spot. This ensures guests know exactly where to go and when the festivities begin.
• Provide the name and address of the venue. For formal weddings, write out the full state name.
• If the venue is well-known or a private residence, you may omit the street address.
• Specify the city and state in full. Abbreviations are generally not used.
• If the reception is at a different location, include a separate reception card with the start time and address.
• Consider including directions or a custom map, especially for unique or hard-to-find venues.

Wording and Etiquette:

• If the ceremony and reception are in the same location, you can use phrases such as "Reception to follow," "Celebration to follow," or "Dinner and dancing to follow."
• For a formal tone, use phrases like "Request the pleasure of your company" or "Invite you to celebrate with them."
• For a non-religious ceremony, you may use "The pleasure of your company" or similar variations.
• If the ceremony is in a place of worship, use "Request the honor of your presence."
• When the couple's parents are hosting, you can use "at the marriage of their daughter/son" or "at the marriage of their children."
• For a more casual feel, you may use first names only and phrases like "Join us as we tie the knot!" or "are getting hitched!"
• If the couple is hosting, you may use a warm introduction like "Together with full hearts" or "With hearts full of love and joy."

Frequently asked questions