Rhiannon Hendricks
Unity candle ceremonies are a popular wedding tradition, symbolizing the joining of two individuals and their families. The ceremony involves the couple lighting a large 'unity candle' with two smaller taper candles, representing the merging of their lives and the love they share. The unity candle is usually placed on a table, decorated with meaningful items, and often personalized with engravings, colors, or ribbons. The ceremony is typically led by an officiant, who explains the symbolism, and can include family members, such as the mothers of the couple, lighting the taper candles. The unity candle ceremony is a simple yet powerful ritual, suitable for both religious and non-religious weddings, that adds a meaningful touch to the celebration of a couple's union.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of candles required | 3 |
| Types of candles required | 2 taper candles and 1 pillar candle |
| Who lights the unity candle | The couple |
| Who lights the taper candles | The couple, mothers, fathers, children, siblings, close friends, or elders |
| When is the unity candle lit | After the vows and ring exchange |
| Where to place the candles | On a table or platform |
| Candle colour | Any colour, but often the taper candles are a different colour to the unity candle |
| Decorations | Ribbons, candle holders, flowers, or other decorations |
| Candle engraving | Couple's names or meaningful quotes |
| Candle alternatives | Sand ceremony, wine box ceremony, tree planting ceremony |
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What You'll Learn
Unity candle ceremony setup
Unity candle ceremonies are a popular wedding tradition, symbolizing the joining of two individuals and their families. The ceremony is usually led by an officiant, who explains the symbolism of the ritual.
The unity candle ceremony setup typically involves three candles: two taper candles and one larger pillar candle, known as the unity candle. The taper candles represent the couple and their respective families, while the unity candle symbolizes their union and the creation of a blended family. The setup usually involves placing the unity candle in the centre, with the two taper candles on either side.
The ceremony often takes place on a table or platform, ensuring the candles are secure and safe. For outdoor weddings, consider using a large lantern or hurricane candle shade to protect the flame from wind. The table can be decorated with accessories that match the wedding theme, such as candle holders, ribbons, flowers, or other meaningful items.
Before the ceremony, the couple should prepare the setup and inform their wedding planner and officiant. The taper candles are typically lit by the couple's mothers, but other family members or friends can also be included. The couple then uses the taper candles to simultaneously light the unity candle, creating a bright symbol of their commitment and unity.
After the ceremony, the unity candle can be extinguished and preserved as a souvenir, reminding the couple of the special ritual and their loving union.
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Choosing the right unity candle
Unity candles are a popular addition to wedding ceremonies, symbolising the joining of two people and two families. The unity candle is usually a pillar candle, lit by the couple using two taper candles.
Consider the aesthetics
The unity candle can be personalised to match the overall aesthetic of your wedding. For example, if you are getting married on a beach, you might choose a coral-coloured candle surrounded by seashells and pebbles. For a vintage wedding, you could use a family heirloom passed down from a relative.
Prioritise durability
It is important to choose a strong base or candle holder that fits your unity candle securely. This will prevent it from toppling over during the ceremony. If your wedding is outdoors, you may want to use a large lantern, hurricane candle shade, or a tent to protect the candle from the wind.
Add personal touches
You can decorate the candle with ribbons or other accessories that match your wedding theme. You can also add personalised touches such as engraving your names, the wedding date, or a meaningful quote on the candle.
Involve family and friends
While the couple usually lights the unity candle, some couples involve their family and friends in the ceremony. For example, the mothers of the couple often light the taper candles, or another family member may be chosen to take part.
Prepare the space
In addition to the unity candle, you will need two taper candles and a table or platform for the candles to rest on during the ceremony. You may also need to rent or provide a matchbook or lighter to light the candles.
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Who lights the taper candles?
The unity candle ceremony is a wedding tradition symbolizing the joining of two parties and the merging of two families. It involves lighting two taper candles, which are then used to light a larger pillar candle together. The ritual usually takes place towards the end of the wedding ceremony, after the couple has exchanged their vows.
Couples traditionally assign the role of taper candle lighter to the mothers of the bride and groom. However, some couples also ask their fathers, siblings, children, or other close family members to do the honours. There are no strict rules, and couples can choose to involve anyone they want to include in the ceremony.
If you plan to include a unity candle ceremony in your wedding, it is important to inform your wedding planner and officiant. You should also ensure that your venue allows candles, as some older venues prohibit burning flames.
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The meaning of the unity candle ceremony
The unity candle ceremony is a wedding tradition used to symbolise the joining of two parties with the lighting of a candle. The ceremony usually takes place towards the end of the wedding, after the vows have been exchanged. The bride and groom each light a taper candle, which they then use to simultaneously light a larger pillar candle together. The flame that burns in the central candle represents the unity of the couple and the merging of two families.
The unity candle ceremony is typically facilitated by an officiant, who may read from a script before the couple lights the candle. The ceremony can be adapted to include friends and family, with parents or other close relatives often lighting the taper candles. The ritual can be incorporated into both religious and non-religious ceremonies and is said to have become mainstream in the 1970s, initially as a Christian tradition.
Couples can personalise the ceremony by choosing a unity candle that matches the overall aesthetic of their wedding. For example, a beach wedding could feature a coral-coloured candle surrounded by seashells and pebbles. Couples can also opt for a vintage look by using a family heirloom as the unity candle. It is important to prioritise durability by choosing a strong base or candle holder that fits the candle securely.
After the ceremony, couples may wish to keep the unity candle as a souvenir, so it should be carefully extinguished and wrapped up for safekeeping.
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Alternatives to the unity candle ceremony
Unity candle ceremonies are a popular wedding tradition, but they are not for everyone. Here are some alternatives to the unity candle ceremony that you can incorporate into your wedding:
Sand ceremony
One of the most popular alternatives to the unity candle ceremony is the sand ceremony. In this ritual, you and your partner pour different-coloured sand into a vase, shadow box, or hourglass, representing the merging of two individuals into a new combined unit. You can even pour the sand into an hourglass to symbolise the two of you coming together as one over time. This is a great option for outdoor weddings, as you don't have to worry about the wind blowing out the flame.
Unity in glass
Another unique alternative is Unity in Glass. Instead of pouring sand, you and your partner pour glass crystals of various colours into a container. After the wedding, you send the collection to an artist who blows the glass into a sculpture, vase, or bowl, creating a one-of-a-kind keepsake.
Paint ceremony
In this variation, you and your partner each bring a small jar of paint in different colours. You then pour the paint down the front of a canvas, creating a colourful keepsake as the paint mixes and drops down.
Planting ceremony
In this ceremony, you and your partner pour soil from your homes or childhood homes into a planter and add a seed or tree sapling. As the plant grows from the combined soil, it symbolises the growth of your love.
Time-capsule ceremony
The time-capsule ceremony is a reminder of the durability of love and the lifetime commitment you are making to each other. During this ritual, you seal tokens of love, photos, letters, and keepsakes in a time capsule to be opened on a future anniversary. This ceremony can also include friends and family, who can contribute their own mementos.
These are just a few alternatives to the unity candle ceremony that you can consider for your wedding. Feel free to get creative and come up with your own unique rituals that symbolise the unity and love between you and your partner.
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Frequently asked questions
A unity candle ceremony is a symbolic ritual that takes place after the vow exchange, when the couple lights one main candle with two separate candles, representing the merging of two families and two individuals.
The unity candle is usually placed on a table that is at an appropriate height so that the couple won't need to bend down. The table should be decorated with flowers, herbs, crystals, framed photos of family members, colourful fabric tablecloths, and any other meaningful items.
The customary option is a white or ivory candle, but some couples choose to personalise their candles with engravings, colours, or unique designs.
The couple usually lights the unity candle together, using two taper candles to light the larger candle. Some couples have their mothers or children light the taper candles to give them a larger role in the ceremony.
The unity candle ceremony typically happens towards the end of the wedding ceremony, after the couple has exchanged vows.
