The Wedding Blues: Navigating Post-Planning Emotions

when youve planned your whole wedding

Planning a wedding can be an overwhelming and stressful experience, especially if you're doing it alone. Many brides feel that the wedding planning process is another way for women to be burdened with unpaid labour. It is important to start early and give yourself enough time to plan the celebration of your dreams. You can use a wedding planner or a wedding planning app to help you stay on track and make the process more manageable.

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Budgeting

Determine Your Wedding Budget:

Firstly, figure out your financial situation and set a realistic budget. Discuss with your partner, and if applicable, any family members who will be contributing, to decide on a comfortable spending amount. It's essential to be honest and pragmatic during these conversations to establish a clear financial picture.

Prioritize and Allocate Funds:

Once you have a budget, decide on the three most important aspects of your wedding and allocate funds accordingly. For example, if you prioritize photography, you may need to cut costs elsewhere, such as reducing the guest list or opting for a less expensive venue.

Research and Spreadsheets:

Create a detailed spreadsheet to track expenses and stay organized. Research average costs for different vendors and items to help you allocate funds effectively. Websites like The Knot offer free wedding planning spreadsheets that can assist in budgeting and tracking expenses.

Choose an Affordable Venue:

The venue can be one of the most significant expenses, so consider less traditional options. Think outside the box and choose a place that holds a special meaning for you, such as a public park, a library, or a zoo. Additionally, opt for a venue that can accommodate both the ceremony and reception to potentially save on costs.

Reduce Guest List:

One of the most effective ways to cut costs is to limit the number of guests. A smaller guest list can allow you to have a more intimate and memorable wedding without sacrificing quality.

DIY and Resell:

Opt for DIY options where possible, such as invitations, and consider reselling items after the wedding. Paper invitations can be printed at home or through affordable online services, and items like decor, accents, and accessories can often be resold.

Save on Alcohol:

Alcohol can be a significant expense. Consider sticking to beer and wine or creating a few signature cocktails that match your wedding theme. If your venue controls the bar, ask to close it an hour early and offer tea or coffee instead to cap your spending.

Choose Affordable Decor and Favors:

Opt for affordable filler flowers like baby's breath and greenery, which can create a gorgeous effect without breaking the bank. For wedding favors, choose edible treats, which are often cheaper and less likely to be left unused.

Remember, budgeting for a wedding can be a challenging but exciting process. By being mindful of expenses and prioritizing what's important to you, you can create a memorable day without financial stress.

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Venue

Choosing a wedding venue is one of the most important decisions you will make while planning your wedding. It can be a very exciting part of the process, but it can also be challenging. Here are some tips to help you select the perfect venue for your big day:

Start by Determining Your Wedding Vision and Budget

Before you begin your search for a venue, it is crucial to have a clear vision of what you want your wedding to look and feel like. Do you prefer an intimate indoor gathering or a grand outdoor celebration? A rustic barn setting or a glamorous ballroom? Do you want a destination wedding or a local celebration? Your wedding vision will guide your venue selection.

Additionally, setting a realistic budget is essential. Your budget will dictate many aspects of your wedding, including the venue. Consider how much you can realistically spend on the venue itself, catering, decorations, and any other necessary expenses.

Consider Your Guest List and Venue Capacity

The number of guests you plan to invite will significantly impact your venue choice. You need to ensure that your chosen venue can comfortably accommodate your guest list, including space for tables, a dance floor, and other entertainment. A good rule of thumb is to allow for 25-30 square feet of space per guest.

Research and Visit Top Venues

Explore a variety of venue options, including mansions, beaches, farms, and banquet halls. Visit your top contenders to get a feel for the space and trust your instincts. Consider factors such as the venue's location, accessibility, parking availability, and any additional services they provide, such as catering, tables and chairs.

Ask the Right Questions

When visiting venues, don't be afraid to ask questions. Inquire about their policies on outside vendors, accessibility, backup plans for inclement weather, and the extent of the space you'll have access to, especially if they host multiple events simultaneously.

Book Your Venue in Advance

It is advisable to book your chosen venue a year to nine months in advance of your wedding date, especially if your desired dates are not flexible. Securing your venue early will give you peace of mind and allow you to focus on other wedding planning aspects.

Remember, your wedding venue sets the stage for your entire celebration, so take your time, trust your instincts, and choose a space that aligns with your vision and budget.

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Vendors

Planning a wedding can be an overwhelming process, but there are many resources available to help you get started. One of the first steps is to determine your wedding budget, which will be a driving factor in many of your decisions. This includes deciding who is paying for what and how much you can afford to spend on different aspects of the wedding, such as the venue, catering, and vendors.

Speaking of vendors, let's dive into some tips for choosing the right ones for your big day.

  • Start by researching and gathering inspiration: Before you begin meeting with potential vendors, it's essential to have a clear vision of your wedding style and aesthetic. Use resources like Pinterest, Instagram, magazines, and bridal websites to gather ideas and create a mood board that highlights your favorite wedding elements and the overall vibe you want to achieve.
  • Prioritize your vendor choices: Identify which vendors are most important to you and your partner. For example, you might decide that having a live band or a specific photographer takes priority over other aspects.
  • Get recommendations: Ask friends and family for recommendations, especially if they have recently planned a wedding. Your wedding planner or venue coordinator can also provide valuable insights and suggestions for vendors in the area.
  • Check out their work: Don't just rely on word-of-mouth recommendations. Take the time to review the vendors' portfolios, previous work, and online presence. This will help you determine if their style and quality align with your vision and expectations.
  • Communicate your vision: Once you've selected your vendors, ensure you clearly communicate your wedding vision and expectations. Be as detailed as possible so that they can understand and deliver on your dreams for the big day.
  • Be mindful of inclusivity: The wedding industry has been criticized for its gender bias, often targeting only brides in its marketing and communication. If this is important to you, seek out vendors who are actively working to be more inclusive and avoid those who perpetuate gender stereotypes.
  • Stay organized: Wedding planning can be a complex process, so it's essential to stay organized. Use tools like spreadsheets, checklists, or wedding planning apps to keep track of your vendor contacts, contracts, and payments.

Remember, choosing the right vendors for your wedding is crucial to bringing your vision to life and ensuring your big day runs smoothly. Take your time, do your research, and trust your instincts.

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Catering

Choosing a Caterer

Start by selecting your wedding caterer as early as possible, ideally between 10 and 12 months before your wedding date. This ensures availability, as caterers tend to book up quickly, and it allows ample time for planning and creating a customised menu. Research caterers who specialise in the type of food and service style you prefer. If your venue offers an in-house caterer or a preferred list of caterers, ask about their flexibility in deviating from their standard menu. If they are hesitant, it's best to choose a caterer whose specialty aligns with your preferences.

Menu Planning

When planning your menu, consider the serving style, such as plated, buffet, family-style, or staffed stations. Each style has its advantages, and you should choose one that suits your wedding's vibe and ensures a smooth flow for your guests. Discuss special dietary requests and seasonal produce options with your caterer, who should be able to accommodate various dietary restrictions and preferences.

Finalising Details

Provide your caterer with a final headcount, including vendors and any additional guests who may show up, to ensure enough meals are prepared. Communicate other essential details, such as arrival, set-up, dinner, and tear-down times, server-to-guest ratio, and any additional fees. Don't forget to review the contract thoroughly and finalise payment details, including gratuities, to avoid any surprises.

Additional Considerations

If your chosen caterer doesn't include alcohol and bartending services, you'll need to arrange for a licensed bartender separately. Also, remember to factor in meals for your vendors, such as photographers and DJs, as a courtesy. Finally, don't be afraid to think outside the box! Food trucks, charcuterie boards, and unique dishes can add a fun and exciting element to your wedding catering.

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Photography

  • First, decide on your photography style. Whether you prefer traditional posed portraits or a more photojournalistic approach, communicate your vision to your photographer. Discuss the must-have shots, such as family portraits or specific cultural rituals, and also share any unique details or surprises you want to be captured so the photographer can be prepared.
  • Next, consider your timeline. Discuss with your photographer when they will arrive to start capturing the day's preparations. You'll want to ensure they are there for the key moments, such as the bride or groom getting ready, the ceremony, cocktail hour, and, of course, the reception. If you are having a first look, ensure this is also timed correctly and privately for an intimate moment.
  • Think about lighting. Natural light is always best, so consider the time of day and year when planning outdoor shots. For indoor shots, ensure the venue has good lighting, and your photographer may also use flash or additional lighting for creative effect.
  • Don't forget the details. From the rings, shoes, and dress to the table settings and cake, ensure your photographer captures the finer details that showcase your personality and the effort you put into planning your special day.
  • Finally, discuss the delivery of your photos. When will you receive the final images, and in what format? Will they be digitally enhanced, and will you receive a physical album or just digital files? Be clear on your expectations and the photographer's process to avoid disappointment.

Remember, your photographer is there to help capture your day, so communicate openly and ensure you feel comfortable with their style and approach.

Frequently asked questions

First, take some time to enjoy being engaged! Then, start by determining the vision for your wedding. Do you want a big or small wedding? Will it be outdoors or inside? Will it take place at home or at a special destination? Once you have a clear vision, you can start working on the details.

The ideal length for an engagement is 12 to 14 months, but every couple is different. Some plan their wedding in as little as seven weeks! If you're short on time, condense the wedding schedule and try to complete tasks ahead of schedule.

Your wedding budget will be the driving factor for many of your decisions. Figure out who's paying for what and determine a bottom line. Then, break down the budget and allocate funds accordingly. Be sure to give yourself some wiggle room for unexpected costs.

The venue and the wedding date are often the most important things to book first. The venue will affect many other aspects of your wedding, such as catering and accommodation. The date may also impact the availability of other vendors, so it's crucial to lock these in early.

A wedding planner can be a valuable investment, guiding you through the entire process and handling logistics. However, it's not necessary to hire one. There are many free online resources and apps that can help you plan your wedding, such as The Knot App, which offers various planning tools.

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