Bridesmaids: Priorities Straight, A Wedding Well-Served

When it comes to choosing your bridesmaids, it's important to have your priorities straight. This is a decision that will impact all your pre-wedding events, personal relationships, and your sanity as you plan your wedding. While it's exciting to share the news of your engagement with everyone you know, it's essential to take the time to consider who you want by your side on your special day. Your bridesmaids should be those you can depend on, not just those you have the longest history with. They should be supportive, accountable, and committed to being fully engaged in your wedding. It's also crucial to be honest about the financial and time commitments involved and ensure your bridesmaids are aware of these expectations. Remember, your wedding should not only look good but also feel awesome. So, take the time to prioritize and choose your bridesmaids wisely.

Be mindful of the financial and time commitment involved in being a bridesmaid

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it's also a big commitment. If you've been asked to be a bridesmaid, it's important to be mindful of the time and financial investment involved. Here are some things to consider:

Financial Commitment:

Being a bridesmaid can be expensive. While the specific costs may vary depending on the wedding and the bride's expectations, there are some common expenses to keep in mind. These can include the cost of the bridesmaid dress, alterations, shoes, accessories, hair, and makeup. There may also be travel and accommodation costs for the wedding and any pre-wedding events, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Additionally, it is customary to give a wedding gift or contribute to a group gift for the couple. All of these costs can quickly add up, so it's important to be aware of the financial commitment before accepting the role of a bridesmaid.

Time Commitment:

Being a bridesmaid is not just a financial commitment but also a time investment. It's important to be available and present throughout the entire planning process and the wedding day itself. This includes attending pre-wedding events such as dress fittings, the bridal shower, and the bachelorette party. As a bridesmaid, you may also be expected to help with the planning and organising of these events, which can take up a significant amount of time. On the wedding day, bridesmaids often have a range of duties, such as getting ready with the bride, attending the rehearsal dinner, and providing emotional support to the bride. It's crucial to be mindful of the time commitment involved and ensure that you can fulfil the expectations of being a bridesmaid.

Communicating Your Concerns:

If you are worried about the financial or time commitment, it's important to communicate honestly with the bride. Be upfront about any concerns or limitations you may have. The bride may be able to make accommodations or adjustments to ease the burden. For example, she might offer to help pay for certain expenses or be understanding if you need to decline participating in some of the pre-wedding events. Open communication is key to ensuring that everyone is on the same page and that the wedding party can provide the best support to the bride.

Planning and Support:

As a bridesmaid, you will likely be involved in the planning process to some extent. This could include providing ideas and advice, helping with logistics, and supporting the bride emotionally throughout the planning journey. It's important to be committed and accountable, ensuring that any tasks delegated to you are completed well and on time. Being a bridesmaid also means being there for the bride whenever she needs you, offering a listening ear and a positive attitude.

Understanding Expectations:

Every bride is different, and it's essential to understand her specific expectations of her bridesmaids. Communicate openly with the bride and other members of the bridal party to ensure that everyone is on the same page. Be clear about your own expectations and limitations as well, especially regarding financial contributions and the level of attendance required. By setting clear expectations, you can ensure that you are able to fulfil your duties as a supportive and proactive bridesmaid while also respecting your own boundaries.

Ask yourself if you can still see yourself being good friends with your bridesmaids in 5-10 years

When choosing your bridesmaids, it's important to consider whether these are people you see yourself being good friends with for years to come. Here are some things to think about:

Long-term friendships

The people with whom you have long-term relationships are more likely to still be around after your wedding day. If you can't picture being good friends with your bridesmaids in 5 to 10 years, you might need to reconsider your choice. Ask yourself how your communication is—is it inconsistent? If so, this could be a sign that your friendship isn't as strong as you think it is.

Family ties

If the potential bridesmaid is married to one of your siblings, is your partner's sister, or is your own sister, it's generally expected that you include them in your bridal party. This is because they're family, and if they included you in their bridal party, you should extend the same courtesy.

Recent weddings

If a friend asked you to be a bridesmaid in their wedding within the last three years, it's polite to ask them to be a bridesmaid in your wedding too. However, if it's been longer than that, you're not obligated to reciprocate unless you want to. If you're still friends, you should invite them as a guest to your wedding.

Cost

Being a bridesmaid can cost anywhere from $900 to $3350. If the monetary cost is too high, it can create tension and resentment. When choosing your bridesmaids, consider whether they can afford to be part of your bridal party.

Choose supportive bridesmaids who are easy to talk to

Choosing your bridesmaids is an important part of your wedding planning. You want the bridesmaids you choose to enhance your experience, help you and support you. But how do you pick bridesmaids?

First, consider the people with whom you are closest. Traditionally, couples select bridesmaids from within their immediate families and close friends' circles. Then, consider those in your extended family. Finally, friends or co-workers with whom you've grown close in the past few years may be good candidates, as long as you can foresee keeping in touch for years to come.

When choosing your bridesmaids, it's essential to pick friends or family who will be supportive of you, your fiancé, and your decisions. Helpful bridesmaids can help ease the weight of wedding planning. Bridesmaids should be tolerant, friendly, and easy-going. They should be people you can easily talk to without having to censor your words. They should be good listeners, positive, and, most importantly, invested in your happiness.

Ask yourself: Will your bridesmaids be there when you need them? Are they accountable? Can you delegate tasks and be sure that they'll complete them well and on time? If the answer to any of these questions is 'no', you might want to rethink your choice.

Reliability is also key. You'll want to know that you can count on your bridesmaids. If a friend almost never calls you back or constantly shows up late, they may not be the right person for the job, especially with tight timelines and deadlines. Instead, lean toward friends who you know will answer your emails and show up when you need them to (or even a few minutes early).

You should also consider your bridesmaids' personalities and how they will get along with each other. While everyone doesn't have to be best friends, you'll want to avoid potential drama by steering clear of anyone with a stronger or abrasive personality who tends to rub people the wrong way. Aim for a group of bridesmaids who are friendly, cordial, and can transition easily between groups.

Finally, be mindful of budgets. Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, and you don't want your friends to feel burdened by the cost. If you know a friend is in a tough spot financially, talk it over with them before making the official ask. Let them know you'd love to include them but also offer alternative ways for them to be involved if joining the wedding party might be too expensive.

Pick dependable bridesmaids who will be committed to your wedding

Picking your bridesmaids is one of the most important and fun elements of planning your wedding. It's called a wedding party, after all! But how do you ensure that you pick dependable bridesmaids who will be committed to your wedding?

First, it's important to start thinking about your bridesmaids early. Give yourself a few months to meditate on your choice and the people you want to include. This will be a decision that impacts all of your pre-wedding events, your personal relationships, and your sanity as you plan your wedding. Waiting until you know your wedding date will also help your bridesmaids-to-be understand their role and whether they can commit.

Next, make a list of all the meaningful people you might include. This could include close male or non-binary friends, siblings, or siblings-in-law. What's most important is that you include your favourite people, regardless of gender.

Then, set your expectations. Determine the level of involvement and commitment you want from your bridesmaids. Being a bridesmaid is a lot of work and can be expensive, so it's important to be clear about what you are asking of them. Will they be expected to attend all pre-wedding events, help with planning, and purchase a new outfit? Be honest and clear about these expectations upfront to ensure your bridesmaids are committed and able to fulfil their duties.

Finally, look at your relationship with each individual. Highlight the people who are dependable, supportive, and have a long history with you. These are the people who will be by your side through the wedding planning process and beyond.

Remember, the number of bridesmaids doesn't matter as long as those standing beside you are the right people. So take your time, be clear about your expectations, and choose your bridesmaids wisely.

Decide on the number of bridesmaids you want and be flexible

Deciding on the number of bridesmaids you want is a crucial aspect of planning your wedding. While it's ultimately a personal choice, there are several factors to consider when making this decision.

First and foremost, it's essential to understand that there is no "correct" number of bridesmaids. The size of your bridal party should be based on your personal preferences and what feels right for you. However, it's worth noting that the average number of bridesmaids falls between three and five. If you're still unsure, you can consider the following factors to help guide your decision:

• Budget: Each additional bridesmaid will incur costs for their dress, accessories, flowers, food, gifts, and transportation. Ensure that your budget can accommodate the number of bridesmaids you desire.
• Venue: Consider the size and layout of your ceremony venue. A small, intimate space may not accommodate a large bridal party, while a grand ballroom might look odd with only a couple of bridesmaids.
• Formality: The formality of your wedding can also influence the number of bridesmaids. Very formal weddings typically have a larger bridal party, with six to ten bridesmaids, while casual weddings or elopements often have just one or two, or even none.
• Friendship Dynamics: Evaluate your social group and the potential candidates for bridesmaids. Consider the possibility of hurting feelings if you were to leave someone out. You may decide to include more or fewer bridesmaids to avoid any upset.
• Photography: If you're concerned about how your wedding photos will look with an uneven bridal party, consult with your photographer. They can suggest different poses and setups to ensure your photos look balanced, even with an odd number of bridesmaids.

Remember, it's your wedding, and you can be flexible with the number of bridesmaids. Don't feel pressured to conform to any specific rules or traditions. Choose the people who are most important to you and who will support and enhance your wedding experience.

Frequently asked questions