The Case For Intimate Nuptials: Why A Big Wedding Isn't Always Best

There are many reasons why someone might not want a big wedding. Perhaps they are introverted and don't want to be in the spotlight all day, or they want to avoid the expense of a large wedding. They may prefer to prioritise experience and authenticity over the appearance of a wedding day, or they may want to avoid the pressure of pleasing guests.

If you don't want a big wedding, there are many alternative options available. You could elope, have a small backyard wedding, or get married at City Hall. You could also have a micro-wedding at a private home rental or an adventure elopement, which could involve paddle boarding, snowshoeing, hot air ballooning, or off-roading.

Adventure elopement

If you're not keen on a big wedding, an adventure elopement could be the perfect option for you. Adventure elopements are an increasingly popular way to tie the knot, offering a unique and meaningful experience that's tailored to you as a couple.

There are many reasons why couples might choose to elope on an adventure:

• It's intimate and personal, allowing you to focus on each other rather than the guests.
• It's a chance to whisk each other away to a romantic location and start your married life with an adventure.
• You can do whatever you want, with endless possibilities for creating a unique experience.
• It can be more affordable than a traditional wedding, without the stress of planning a large event.

How to plan an adventure elopement:

Planning an adventure elopement doesn't have to be stressful. Here are some steps to help you get started:

• Choose a location: Pick a spot that speaks to you as a couple, whether it's a mountain peak, a remote beach, or even a foreign country.
• Select a date: Consider the time of year and the weather conditions for your chosen location.
• Find vendors: Research local vendors, including photographers, florists, caterers, and any other services you may need.
• Create a timeline: Plan out the details of your day, including any activities or unique touches you want to include.
• Handle legal requirements: Don't forget the practicalities, like finding an officiant and obtaining any necessary permits or documentation.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the planning process, consider hiring an adventure elopement company. These companies offer pre-designed packages that include everything from proposals to honeymoons. They can also create custom packages to suit your specific needs and dreams.

So, if you're dreaming of a wedding day that's out of the ordinary, an adventure elopement might be the perfect choice. It's a chance to create a day that's truly yours, filled with adventure and lasting memories.

Small backyard wedding

Planning and Logistics

• Take time to sit down with your partner and dream up your ideal wedding. How many people do you want to invite? Do you want the wedding to be short or an extended weekend? How do you want to feel?
• Set a budget. Planning a small wedding isn't always about cost – some couples choose to have an intimate wedding and spend the same amount as they would on a large wedding.
• Decide on your top priorities for the day, such as food, photos, decor, or hosting a weekend experience with family.
• If you don't have enough space in your backyard, consider asking a friend or family member if you can use theirs.
• Make a list of all the vendors you'll need, such as caterers, photographers, florists, and DJs or bands.
• If you're on a budget, consider renting decor or even furnishing and creating the decor yourself. You can also ask friends and family to borrow things.
• If you want to save money on food, consider a potluck, BBQ, or asking a friend or family member to be in charge of the meal.
• Don't forget to organise a clean-up crew for after the wedding!
• If the planning process becomes overwhelming, consider hiring a wedding planner or coordinator.

Decor and Details

• Create a beautiful aisle and archway in your backyard. You could have a classic and minimalist arch, a simple arch with greenery or florals, or a bohemian arch with macrame.
• Hang charming string lights from trees, fences, or tentpoles.
• Set a long banquet-style table to create a welcoming, intimate atmosphere.
• Decorate your wedding table with existing elements like green leaves, flower pots, or natural greenery.
• Stack white crates filled with black-and-white photos, eucalyptus, and lanterns for a rustic, refined look.
• Set up a self-serve wedding drinks and food table.
• Put out lawn games for guests to enjoy.
• Create a relaxing area with a traditional lounge, a boho-style tent, or a cozy movie theater.
• Install a temporary dance floor.
• Plan a creative wedding send-off with confetti, sparklers, or smoke bombs.
• Add a personal touch with wooden wedding signs.
• Use a simple white ribbon to decorate chairs.
• Create a photo booth with accessories for guests to use.
• Hang floral arrangements from the ceiling.
• Set up a ladder shelving unit for drinks.
• Create a sweetheart table for the bride and groom in a gazebo or under a honeycomb-shaped altar.

Remember, your wedding day should be a reflection of you and your partner. By planning a small backyard wedding, you can make the day personal, unique, and intimate.

City hall elopement

If you're looking for an intimate, personal, and authentic wedding, a city hall elopement could be perfect for you.

Planning a City Hall Elopement

First, you'll need to decide on a location. San Francisco City Hall, for example, offers a range of options for couples looking to elope, from a one-hour wedding on the Mayor's Balcony to an evening wedding under the ornate dome of the Rotunda.

Once you've chosen your location, you'll need to make a reservation. In San Francisco, for example, you can make an appointment for a civil marriage ceremony with up to six guests. You'll need to bring a valid, government-issued marriage license and photo identification on the day of your ceremony.

Advantages of a City Hall Elopement

There are many reasons why you might prefer a city hall elopement to a traditional wedding. Eloping at city hall can be a more intimate and personal experience, allowing you to focus on your partner and your love for each other rather than the expectations of guests. It can also be a more affordable option, and a great choice if you value experience and authenticity over the traditional wedding experience.

Making it Your Own

Just because you're eloping at city hall doesn't mean you can't make the day your own. You can still have decorations, a cake, flowers, and champagne. And, if you want, you can always host a private ceremony and then throw a big wedding reception later for all your friends and family.

Dealing with Disappointed Friends and Family

It's natural for friends and family to feel left out when you choose to elope, but it's your day, and they should still be happy for you and your partner. An elopement can be a great excuse for inviting as few people as possible, and people tend to feel less left out if they aren't the only ones who can't come.

So, if you're dreaming of an intimate and authentic wedding, don't be afraid to elope at city hall. With a little planning, you can create a day that's perfectly tailored to you and your partner.

Micro wedding at a private home rental

If you're looking for an intimate and unique setting for your micro wedding, consider renting a private home. This option allows you to make your celebration feel less cookie-cutter and more personalised. From historic mansions to rustic lodges and modern farmhouses, there is a diverse range of homes available to rent for your special day.

For example, if you're seeking a luxurious getaway, you could choose a private estate with lush gardens, rolling hills, and vineyard views. Or, if you prefer a cosy and charming atmosphere, a log home nestled in the mountains might be ideal. For a touch of glamour, consider a Gilded Age mansion with vintage decor and graceful arches. Alternatively, a private lake house with a vineyard could offer a tranquil setting for your micro wedding.

When choosing a private home rental, consider the location and amenities that are important to you. Some homes may offer outdoor spaces, such as gazebos, gardens, or lake views, while others may provide unique features like a spiral staircase treehouse or an indoor pool. It's also essential to ensure that the home can accommodate your guest count and that events are allowed by the host.

By opting for a private home rental, you can create a micro wedding that reflects your personality and style, making your celebration truly yours.

Get married now, party later

If you're not into the idea of a big wedding, you're not alone. Many couples are opting for smaller, more intimate ceremonies or elopements. Here are some reasons why "get married now, party later" could be the perfect option for you:

Share a Private Moment

Limelight-loving celebrities even crave privacy for their weddings. The true purpose of a wedding is for two people to commit to one another for life, and a smaller wedding or elopement allows you to focus on the significance of this moment without distractions. You won't need to worry about entertaining guests or their opinions; instead, you can fully immerse yourself in the experience with your partner.

Make Your Commitment Official

There are practical benefits to being legally married. If you're facing military deployment, an expiring visa, a job move, serious illness, or other life changes, there may not be a perfect time for a big wedding. Eloping or having a small civil ceremony is a memorable way to start your lives together, even if circumstances aren't ideal.

Avoid Family Drama

If you're navigating tricky family dynamics, different cultures, religions, or complicated relationships, a small wedding or elopement can be the perfect middle ground. It can mean less angst, fewer arguments, and no need for a degree in diplomacy! You can always explain to family and friends that you wanted an intimate experience and that you plan to celebrate with them at a later date.

Plan a Party Without Pressure

Planning a big wedding can be stressful. By separating the ceremony and the celebration, you can plan a party without the pressure of managing all the wedding traditions and expectations on the same day. You can choose to include as many or as few formalities as you like at your reception, whether that's months or years later.

Wear Your Wedding Outfits Twice

Many couples wish they could wear their wedding attire again. By having a small ceremony now and a bigger celebration later, you'll have another excuse to wear those outfits and feel your absolute best!

It's Your Wedding, Your Way

At the end of the day, your wedding should reflect you and your partner. If a big wedding isn't "you," then don't feel pressured to have one. Opt for a small ceremony or elopement followed by a party later, and you'll get the best of both worlds: an intimate exchange of vows and a joyous gathering with all your favourite people.

Frequently asked questions