Lyla Dejesus
Planning a wedding is a stressful task, and one of the most important guest tasks is to remember to RSVP. It is common for guests to forget to RSVP, or for their responses to get lost in the mail. It is recommended that you wait until the RSVP deadline has passed before sending a reminder, to avoid irritating your guests. However, if you are close to the guest, it may be a good idea to send a polite reminder before the deadline. This can be done via email, text, phone call, or in person. If you are sending a reminder after the deadline, it is a good idea to send a cheerful and personal message to each guest, letting them know that you would love for them to attend, but that you need a prompt response for a headcount.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| When to send the first reminder | 3 weeks before the RSVP deadline |
| When to send the second reminder | 1 week before the deadline |
| When to send the third reminder | 1 week after the deadline |
| Who to send reminders to | Close friends and family |
| How to send reminders | Email, text, phone call, in-person, social media, wedding website, or RSVP cards |
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What You'll Learn
When to send the first reminder
However, some couples choose to send out a gentle first reminder about one to three weeks before the RSVP deadline, especially if they have not received many responses. This gives guests a nudge without making them feel rushed. It is also a good idea to remind guests of the RSVP deadline in the initial invitation, which is usually sent out six months before the wedding.
If you are comfortable doing so, you can also remind close friends and family members in person, especially if you see them regularly. For older guests or those who prefer traditional communication, a phone call may be more appropriate. Emails, texts, and social media messages are also valid options for sending out reminders, and some online wedding invitation services offer a free "follow-up" feature that allows you to check in with guests who have not yet replied.
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How to phrase the reminder
The tone of your reminder should be light, friendly, and considerate of your guests' busy schedules. It's also important to be direct and include the deadline in your message. Here are some examples of how to phrase your reminders:
- "Hi [name], friendly reminder to RSVP for our wedding. We are excited to have you celebrate with us!"
- "We can't wait for you to celebrate with us! RSVP by [insert date] so we can get the party started!"
- "Hi! We noticed you haven't RSVP'd to our wedding, and our RSVP deadline was [date]. Could you please let me know if you're planning on coming by [date/time]? We need final numbers for catering purposes. If I don't hear from you by then, I will mark you down as not attending. Hope to see you soon!"
- "Since I haven't heard from you, I've put you down for a hot dog. If you want the filet mignon, let me know by Friday!"
- "We're looking forward to our wedding next week; we wish you could be there but we understand that we can't always get what we want!"
- "Hi [name], I hope you are doing well! Just wanted to send a gentle reminder about our upcoming wedding. The RSVP deadline is approaching, and we would love to have you there. Please let me know if you're able to make it by [date]."
- "We are thrilled to be putting the finishing touches on our wedding. Before we can fully celebrate, our wedding planner needs to know if you can make it. The RSVP deadline for mailing back response cards has passed, so please complete the form on our wedding website [link] if you haven't already. Thanks, and we hope to see you soon!"
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Reminding guests in person
It is common for guests to forget to RSVP, so it is important to be patient and understanding when reminding them to do so. It is recommended to send a "please RSVP" message about one week before the deadline and, if needed, a second reminder one week after the deadline. However, some sources suggest that you should wait until the deadline has passed before sending reminders.
If you are close to certain guests and see them regularly, it is a good idea to remind them in person. This can be done by simply asking them if they plan to attend and recording their response on your guest list. If you are collecting online RSVPs, they can submit their response on their phones. If you are doing paper RSVPs, bring an extra response card with you and write down their response to add to your guest list later.
When reminding guests in person, it is important to be cheerful and considerate of their busy schedules. You can say something like, "We're looking forward to the wedding next week, and we wish you could be there. We need to confirm numbers soon, so please let me know by Friday if you can make it!"
If you are uncomfortable reminding certain guests in person, you can try other methods such as sending a friendly email or text reminder, or giving them a call.
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Following up after the RSVP deadline
It's completely normal not to receive responses from every guest by your RSVP deadline. Late RSVPs are a common occurrence at weddings. Before you start following up with guests, remember to give them the benefit of the doubt and try not to stress too much about it.
Once the RSVP deadline has passed, wait a week or two before you start nudging your guests. This gives them some leeway and prevents any awkward conversations. When you do start following up, you can use a variety of methods, depending on your relationship with the guest and the formality of your wedding. Here are some approaches:
- Phone call: A phone call is a direct and personal way to remind your guests about the RSVP. It can be an effective method for older guests or those who prefer traditional communication. However, use this method sparingly as it can be more intrusive than other options.
- Email or text: Sending a quick email or text message is a valid option, especially for close friends and family. Keep the tone lighthearted, friendly, and considerate of their busy schedules.
- Social media: If you've been sharing your wedding planning process on social media, you can make a subtle post or story mentioning the RSVP deadline. This targets your social media-savvy guests without making them feel singled out. Avoid tagging or directly mentioning guests who haven't responded.
- In-person: For close family members and friends whom you see regularly, a simple in-person reminder can be effective. This method is ideal if you're collecting online RSVPs, as they can respond using their phones immediately.
- Physical reminder cards: For formal or large weddings, sending physical RSVP reminder cards that match your wedding theme can be an elegant way to motivate guests to respond.
When reaching out to guests, it's essential to maintain a cheerful, friendly, and considerate tone. Let them know that the deadline has passed, but you would still love their presence at your wedding. Emphasize that their prompt response is needed for an accurate headcount to facilitate wedding planning.
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Different methods of communication
The method of communication you choose for your RSVP reminders will depend on your relationship with the guest and the formality of your wedding. Here are some options:
- Phone call: A phone call can be an effective way to remind guests about RSVP deadlines, especially for older guests or those who prefer traditional communication methods. It adds a personal touch and allows your guests to hear the friendly tone of your voice, reducing the risk of your request being misinterpreted as aggressive or insincere.
- Email: Sending a friendly email reminder to guests is a common practice. This method is especially useful if you have a large number of guests or if your wedding is more casual. It is important to BCC each guest to avoid any potential embarrassment. You can also use email to communicate with guests who have RSVP'd, providing additional details or updates about the wedding.
- Social media: Creating a social media event for your wedding can serve as a low-pressure way to remind guests about the RSVP deadline. You can post a friendly message reminding everyone of the upcoming deadline and providing a link to your wedding website or online RSVP form.
- Physical reminder cards: For formal or large weddings, sending physical RSVP reminder cards that match your wedding theme can be an elegant way to motivate guests to respond. This method can be more costly and time-consuming but may be appropriate for certain types of weddings.
- In-person: For close family and friends, an in-person reminder can be a simple and effective way to get a response. This method may be more suitable for those you see regularly and have a close relationship with.
- Wedding website: Utilizing a wedding website can be an efficient way to manage RSVPs and send out reminders. You can add a dedicated RSVP page with all the necessary details and even include additional events like a welcome party or rehearsal dinner. Some premium subscription services offer unlimited email communications, making it easy to follow up with guests.
- Text message: Sending a text message reminder can be a quick and convenient way to reach out to guests, especially those you are close with or those who may have forgotten to respond. However, text messages can sometimes be perceived as impersonal or curt, so it is important to use this method sparingly and consider the relationship you have with the guest.
When reminding guests to RSVP, it is generally recommended to send the first reminder two to four weeks before your deadline, with subsequent reminders sent closer to the date if needed.
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Frequently asked questions
Send your first gentle reminder about three weeks before the RSVP deadline. This gives guests a nudge without making them feel rushed.
Different methods of communication work best depending on your relationship with the guest and the formality of your wedding. A phone call is the most direct way to remind guests to RSVP, but it might be too direct for some. A text or email reminder is less intrusive and works well for close friends and family. Sending physical RSVP reminder cards that match your wedding theme is a good option for formal or large weddings.
It is generally recommended to wait until the RSVP deadline has passed before sending a reminder. However, some sources suggest sending a polite reminder about one week before the deadline.
Let guests know that the deadline has passed, but you would still love for them to attend. Mention that their prompt response is needed for a headcount. Keep the tone light, friendly, and considerate of their busy schedules.
