Deborah Chan
Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when you're waiting on RSVPs. It's impossible to plan for the correct number of guests without a definitive yes or no from each one, and knowing how many people will attend allows you to properly allocate seating, catering portions, and finalize details like favors or transportation. It's important to set an RSVP deadline and stick to it, but what happens when that deadline is approaching and you're still waiting on responses? It's time to send out a friendly reminder.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Tone | Light, friendly, and considerate of guests' busy schedules |
| Method | Email, text, phone call, card, or in-person conversation |
| Timing | 1-4 weeks before the RSVP deadline |
| Content | Include RSVP instructions, the deadline, and a link to the RSVP page |
| Non-responders | Mark them as a "no" and inform the wedding coordinator |
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What You'll Learn
How to remind guests to RSVP for your wedding
It's essential to maintain a light, friendly, and considerate tone when reminding guests to RSVP. Here are some tips on how to do this:
Timing
It's recommended to send the first reminder two to four weeks before your RSVP deadline. If you haven't received many responses, send a gentle nudge three weeks before the deadline. If you're still waiting for several responses, send a final reminder one week before the deadline. If your wedding is a destination event or falls on a holiday weekend, provide even more lead time.
Communication Methods
- Phone Call: A phone call is a personal approach that allows your guests to hear your friendly tone. It's an excellent way to avoid any misinterpretation of your message as aggressive or insincere. However, some people may find phone conversations awkward, so use this method sparingly.
- Email or Text: Emailing or texting a reminder is a valid option, especially for tech-savvy guests. Craft a cheerful and personal message to each guest, letting them know the deadline has passed, but you would love their presence. Include the RSVP link in the message for convenience.
- In-Person Reminders: For close family members and friends you see regularly, consider reminding them to RSVP in person. If you're collecting paper RSVPs, bring an extra response card and write down their response.
- Physical RSVP Reminder Cards: For formal or large weddings, sending physical RSVP reminder cards that match your wedding theme adds elegance and motivates guests to respond.
Sample Messages
- "Hi [name], friendly reminder to RSVP for our wedding. We are excited to have you celebrate with us!"
- "We're so excited to celebrate with you on [wedding date]! If you haven't already, please let us know if you'll be joining us by [RSVP deadline]. We can't wait to see you!"
- "Hello! I hope you are well. This is a gentle reminder that the RSVP deadline for [groom name] and I's wedding is tomorrow, the 22nd. It's important for us to receive your response to prepare your food selection and make accommodations. Thank you!"
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When to send out reminders
Timing is Key
Send RSVP reminders about two to four weeks before your deadline. This timeframe provides a gentle nudge for your guests to respond without being too early or too late. If your wedding is a destination event or falls on a holiday weekend, consider sending reminders even earlier to give your guests ample time to plan and respond.
The Early Birds
It is a good idea to send your initial RSVP request with the invitations at least six weeks before the wedding. This initial request serves as a prompt for guests who are eager to respond promptly. However, don't be surprised if you receive responses at a slower pace than expected.
One Week Before the Deadline
If your RSVP deadline is approaching and you still haven't heard from many guests, it's time for a friendly reminder. Send a quick reminder one week before the deadline to give your guests a polite nudge. This is a good time to add a note to your wedding website or send a gentle reminder via email or text.
The Follow-up
After the RSVP deadline has passed, you may still find yourself waiting on responses from some guests. It is generally considered polite to wait one to two weeks after the deadline before following up with guests who haven't responded. This buffer time allows for any potential mail delays or last-minute responses. If you have followed up and still haven't received a response, it is reasonable to mark them as a "no."
Tone and Etiquette
When sending reminders, it is essential to maintain a light, friendly, and considerate tone. Different methods of communication can be used depending on your relationship with the guest and the formality of your wedding. Emails, texts, or phone calls can be great options for a more casual approach, while physical RSVP cards or personalized letters may be more suitable for a formal setting. Remember, your guests likely have busy schedules, so a friendly and considerate reminder will be well-received.
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What to include in the reminder
The wedding RSVP reminder should be sent by the couple getting married. It should include a gentle and friendly reminder that the RSVP deadline is coming up or has passed. It is important to urge guests to confirm their attendance or absence at the wedding. It is also a good idea to include a link to the RSVP page on your wedding website in the reminder.
"Hi [name],
We are so excited to celebrate our special day with you! We recently met with our caterers and are finalising our menu. We kindly request that you let us know if you are able to attend so that we can finalise our guest list. We hope to see you there!
Please RSVP by [date]."
If you need to send a reminder after the RSVP deadline, here is a template:
"Hi [name],
We are so excited to celebrate our wedding with our loved ones and hope that you will be able to join us. We are reaching out because the deadline for RSVPs has passed, and we wanted to give you a gentle reminder in case you forgot. We kindly request that you let us know if you will be attending as soon as possible so that we can finalise our guest list.
Please RSVP by [date]. We hope to hear from you soon!"
It is important to note that the tone of the reminder should be cheerful and friendly. It is also a good idea to include a sense of urgency without being confrontational. You can mention that you are looking forward to celebrating with your guests and that their response is needed for planning purposes, such as finalising the guest list or catering.
Additionally, you can suggest that guests reach out to you if they have any questions or concerns. You can also provide the link to your wedding website for more information.
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Following up with guests who haven't responded
It is quite common for wedding couples to be left waiting for a handful of guests to respond to their invitations. There are several reasons why guests may not respond, including forgetfulness, procrastination, or embarrassment if they cannot attend. It is important to follow up with these guests to finalise your table plan and submit your official guest count to the wedding venue.
When following up with guests who have not responded, it is generally recommended to wait at least one week after the RSVP deadline before contacting them. This allows for any late responses to arrive by mail and gives you time to appear more in control rather than calling on the RSVP deadline. It also gives guests a few days to respond before you move on to another method of communication.
If you still haven't received a response after a week, it is appropriate to send a friendly and gentle reminder via email, text, or phone call. A simple and generic message can be sent to all guests who have not responded, such as "Friendly reminder to RSVP for our wedding. We are excited to have you celebrate with us!". You can also include the RSVP link in the message for their convenience.
If you are still awaiting responses from certain guests, you can try a more direct approach by sending a personalised message. You can express your hope that they will be able to attend and mention that you want to ensure their invitation arrived. For example, "We haven't received your RSVP yet, so we just wanted to make sure that your invitation arrived. We hope that you can make it and look forward to seeing you soon!". You can also suggest alternative response methods, such as responding via text or through your wedding website.
If you have followed up with guests multiple times and still haven't received a response, it is reasonable to mark them as a "no". However, if you have a large number of non-responders, it is advisable to inform your wedding coordinator to prepare for any surprise appearances.
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Dealing with guests who haven't RSVP'd
It is common for guests to forget to RSVP or to wait until the last minute, and it can be frustrating for couples planning their wedding. To ensure you receive RSVPs on time, it is recommended to set your RSVP deadline at least a week before any final headcounts are due to vendors. This gives you a buffer in case anyone falls through.
If you are close to your RSVP deadline and are still waiting on responses, it is appropriate to send a friendly reminder to your guests. This can be done via email, text, or a quick call, depending on your relationship with the guest. You can also ask close family members to reach out to relatives and have a conversation about the wedding, which may include a gentle reminder to RSVP. When sending a reminder, it is a good idea to include the RSVP link or instructions to make it easy for your guests to respond.
If you have sent a reminder and still haven't received a response, it is reasonable to assume that these guests will not be attending. You can mark them as a "no" and inform your wedding coordinator of the number of non-responses, just in case anyone makes a surprise appearance.
If you are concerned about guests showing up without having RSVP'd, you can call these guests to confirm their attendance. This way, you can plan for the correct number of guests and avoid any last-minute scrambling.
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Frequently asked questions
It is recommended to send the first reminder two to four weeks before your RSVP deadline. If you're still waiting for several responses, send a final reminder one week before the deadline.
You can remind guests to RSVP by including the RSVP date on the front page of your wedding website. You can also send a casual reminder via Facebook Messenger, text, or email. If the guest is someone you know well, a simple text, call, or email will usually suffice.
It is important to maintain a light, friendly, and considerate tone when reminding guests to RSVP. You can say something like, "We're so excited to celebrate with you on [wedding date]! If you haven't already, please let us know if you'll be joining us by [RSVP deadline]."
