Rsvp Etiquette: Wedding Save-The-Date Response

Save-the-dates are a courtesy alert to let potential wedding guests know that they're likely to be invited to your wedding. It's a heads-up for guests to kick-start their pre-wedding planning. However, it's too early to ask for RSVPs at this stage. Wedding invitations should be sent out six to ten weeks before the wedding, and the ideal deadline for RSVPs is three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to make travel arrangements if necessary, and it gives the couple enough time to finalise their guest list and share a final headcount with their wedding caterer, venue and other vendors.

RSVPs should be due at least four weeks before the wedding

When it comes to wedding planning, there are a lot of factors to consider and one of the most important is making sure that you give your guests enough time to plan and respond. While it's exciting to send out "save the dates", it's important to remember that these are not the same as formal invitations and shouldn't include an RSVP request.

Save the dates are typically sent out six to 12 months before the wedding day, with the top end of this range being preferable as it gives guests more time to prepare and change their plans if needed. Once the venue and wedding date are confirmed, there's no reason to delay sending out save the dates. Anytime from eight months to a year before the wedding is ideal.

Wedding invitations should be sent out at least eight weeks before the wedding date, and under no circumstances should they be posted with less than six weeks until the event. The sweet spot is typically three months before the wedding, as this allows plenty of time to receive RSVPs. For guests requiring travel arrangements, it's recommended to send invitations even earlier—ideally more than eight weeks in advance. This allows enough time for guests to request time off work, secure accommodation, and make travel plans.

Ideally, the "RSVP by" date should fall three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives the couple enough time to finalise the seating chart and provide a final guest count to vendors such as the caterer and transportation company. A late RSVP can put everyone behind schedule.

Therefore, it's important to give guests a clear deadline for RSVPs, usually about a month after they receive the invitation. This way, guests feel a sense of urgency without feeling like they have to make plans too far in advance.

Don't ask for RSVPs with a save the date

A Save the Date is not a wedding invitation, and receiving one does not guarantee an invite to the wedding. It is simply a courtesy alert to let guests know that you are getting married and that they are likely to be invited. It is a heads-up for guests to kick-start their pre-wedding planning.

Asking for an RSVP in response to a Save the Date locks you into a guest list that is far from finalized. Your guest list may go through several cuts between the initial brainstorming and the final headcount. Your first-choice venue may have a smaller capacity than expected, or your budget may not allow for as many guests as you initially planned. Asking for an RSVP too early will almost guarantee an inaccurate count, as people's plans can change.

It is also too early to ask for an RSVP. There is a several-month gap between when Save the Dates are sent out and when Wedding Invitations are mailed. Asking for an RSVP with a Save the Date is simply too early and can cause confusion for guests.

If you are concerned about costs, skip the Save the Dates altogether. They are not a necessity. You can make phone calls or send emails to give guests advance information about your wedding.

Send invitations 6-10 weeks before the wedding

Sending out wedding invitations is one of the most exciting steps in the planning journey. It is recommended that invitations be sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding, or even earlier if you're planning a destination wedding. This gives guests enough time to clear their schedules, make travel arrangements, and purchase gifts. It also means that you can request RSVPs sooner while staying in line with proper wedding invitation etiquette.

If you're only inviting a few international guests, it's fine to send their formal invitations at the same time as other guests, but be sure to give them a heads-up about the wedding details ahead of time. If a large percentage of your guest list lives abroad, consider sending invitations 12 weeks before the wedding.

It is important to note that save-the-dates are not the same as invitations. Save-the-dates are a courtesy alert, letting potential guests know that they are likely to be invited. They should be sent around 10-11 months before the wedding, with invitations to follow. While it is not necessary to send save-the-dates, they are a fun way to get guests excited about your upcoming nuptials.

When it comes to RSVPs, it is recommended that you set a deadline of at least four weeks before the wedding, and no later than two weeks before. This gives you enough time to organize your final guest list and make any necessary preparations. You can request RSVPs through your wedding website or by including an RSVP card and pre-addressed envelope with your invitations.

Include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope

When it comes to wedding planning, there are many details to consider, and one important aspect is managing your guest list and their responses. A key part of this process is ensuring that your guests can easily and promptly respond to your invitation. Here are some reasons why including a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with your wedding invitation is beneficial:

Convenience for Guests

By providing a pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelope, you are making it as convenient as possible for your guests to respond. They won't have to worry about finding the correct postage or addressing the envelope, which can be especially helpful for guests who are older or less familiar with wedding etiquette. It also ensures that the envelope has the correct address, reducing the risk of responses getting lost in the mail.

Prompt Responses

Including pre-stamped envelopes is a courteous gesture that encourages guests to respond promptly. When guests have to source their own postage, they may delay sending the RSVP, or it may even slip their minds altogether. Pre-stamped envelopes remove this barrier and make it more likely that you'll receive responses within your desired timeframe.

Consistency with Wedding Stationery

Pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelopes can be ordered along with your wedding invitations and RSVP cards, ensuring a coordinated and seamless look for your wedding stationery suite. This attention to detail creates a cohesive presentation and enhances the overall aesthetic of your wedding paper goods.

Accurate Guest Count for Vendors

Receiving timely responses from your guests is crucial for finalizing details with your wedding vendors. Caterers, rental companies, and venues often require a final headcount a few weeks before the wedding. By including pre-stamped envelopes, you increase the likelihood of receiving responses on time and can more accurately plan for the number of guests attending.

Reduced Stress for the Couple

Wedding planning can be stressful, and waiting for RSVPs to trickle in can add to the anxiety. Pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelopes streamline the response process, making it easier to track responses and follow up with guests who haven't replied. This helps reduce stress and gives you more time to focus on other aspects of your special day.

Give guests options for RSVPing

When it comes to RSVPs, it's important to give your wedding guests a few different options to respond. While mailed RSVP cards are traditional, offering digital alternatives can make it easier for your guests to respond promptly. Here are some ideas to give your guests options for RSVPing:

Mail-in RSVP Cards

The traditional option for wedding RSVPs is to include a response card with a pre-addressed, stamped envelope for guests to fill out and return. This option is still popular, as it adds a formal touch to your wedding invitations. It also gives your guests a keepsake item, and you may even receive cute notes from your guests on the cards! However, it's important to consider that mail can be unreliable, and there is a chance that some responses may get lost or damaged.

Online RSVPs

In today's digital world, many couples choose to offer online RSVPs through their wedding website. This option is convenient for both you and your guests, as it eliminates the need for extra postage and provides an easy way to keep track of responses. It can also be a great choice if you have a lot of international guests, as it saves them the time and cost of international postage. However, be mindful that some older guests may find this method confusing, and websites can sometimes be glitchy or shut down.

Email or Text Message

Another option for guests to RSVP is to ask them to email or text message their response directly to you or your wedding planner. This method can be more personal and may be a good choice if you're comfortable sharing your contact information. It also ensures that you receive the responses directly and don't have to rely on a third-party website. However, be prepared for the possibility of an increased number of inquiries or questions from guests.

Phone Calls

While not as common, some couples may choose to accept RSVPs via phone calls, especially for older guests who may not be comfortable with digital options. This method can be more time-consuming, but it adds a personal touch and allows you to connect directly with your guests. It can also be a good way to follow up with guests who haven't responded by the deadline.

Combining Options

You don't have to limit yourself to just one method of RSVPing. Combining two or more options can increase the likelihood of receiving timely responses from your guests. For example, you could include an RSVP card and envelope with your invitations, while also providing the option to RSVP through your wedding website or via email. This way, you offer convenience and flexibility to your guests.

Remember, it's important to give your guests clear instructions on how and when to RSVP. You can also indirectly encourage responses by asking for meal selections or other preferences along with their RSVP. Happy planning!

Frequently asked questions