Lyla Dejesus
There are many superstitions and beliefs surrounding weddings, and some brides are cautious about certain things to ensure their big day goes smoothly. Some of these beliefs are rooted in ancient traditions, while others are more modern. For example, it is considered taboo to use your married name before the wedding, and superstition dictates that a bride should not try on her entire wedding-day outfit before the day itself. There are also beliefs about seeing a nun or monk en route to the wedding, and dropping rings during the ceremony. Some brides are also particular about their guests' attire, as seen in the case of a bride who asked a guest to leave because her outfit did not match the specified dress code.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Seeing a nun or monk en route to the wedding | Brings a barren life |
| Dropping a ring during the ceremony | The person who dropped the ring will be the next to die |
| Bride tripping over the threshold of her new home | Bad luck |
| Bride and groom seeing each other before the wedding | Wedding will be called off |
| Bride wearing her married name before the wedding | Suggests the wedding won't take place |
| Bride trying on everything she'll wear on her wedding day before the day itself | --- |
| Bride not wearing a veil | Susceptible to curses and hexes from jealous witches and evil spirits |
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What You'll Learn
Wedding superstitions and beliefs
The Bride and Groom Should Not See Each Other Before the Wedding
This superstition has its roots in the historical practice of arranged marriages, where the bride's father, who usually brokered the wedding for financial gain, feared that if the groom found the bride unattractive, the wedding would be called off, bringing shame to the family. Over time, this belief evolved into a romantic tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding day to build anticipation and emotion.
Veil as Protection
The veil, a staple of the bridal trousseau for centuries, was believed by the ancient Greeks and Romans to serve a functional purpose beyond fashion. They held that a bride needed to wear a veil to protect her from the curses and hexes of jealous witches and evil spirits who sought to steal her happiness. The veil obscured her face, thus protecting her from these malevolent forces.
Dropped Ring as an Ominous Sign
A time-honored superstition holds that if a ring is dropped during the wedding ceremony, the person closest to the ring when it falls will be the next to die. While this belief may seem frightening, it is generally regarded as unfounded. Nonetheless, it serves as a reminder to handle rings with care during the exchange.
Sighting of a Nun or Monk
A British superstition warns that encountering a nun or a monk on the way to one's wedding foretells a life of barrenness and dependence on charity. This belief reflects an antiquated viewpoint, as not all couples today desire children, and many prioritize experiences or a simple life over material wealth.
Crying on Your Wedding Day
Contrary to popular belief, crying on one's wedding day is considered a good omen. It is said that shedding tears is a way to ensure long-term happiness in the marriage. The superstition suggests that by letting out all the tears, the bride or groom will be happy for the rest of their married life.
These beliefs and superstitions surrounding weddings showcase the rich cultural tapestry associated with matrimony. While some may choose to embrace these traditions, others may simply find them intriguing aspects of wedding lore.
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Wedding planning and checklists
Wedding planning can be overwhelming, but creating a structured checklist and timeline can make the process more manageable and enjoyable. Here is a comprehensive guide to wedding planning and checklists to help you create your dream wedding:
12-Month Wedding Planning Checklist:
Although the ideal engagement length is 12 to 14 months, each couple's timeline is different. This 12-month wedding planning checklist can be adjusted based on your unique schedule:
- Choose your wedding dress, venue, photographer, planner, hairstylist, makeup artist, and other key vendors.
- Select your florist, caterer, baker, and DJ.
- Discuss your vision and budget with your vendors and create a timeline for deliveries and services.
- Finalize your wedding decor choices, including floral samples, table setups, centerpieces, and bouquets.
- Decide on the music and songs for your ceremony and special moments, such as cake cutting and the first dance.
- Plan your wedding attire fittings. The first fitting should be 2-3 months after ordering, and the second fitting should be about 6 weeks before the wedding.
- Obtain your marriage license, being aware of the requirements, costs, and validity period.
- Create a guest list and a spreadsheet for guest travel plans, especially if you have international guests.
- Start planning the rehearsal dinner with your partner's family, providing them with an accurate guest list and design preferences.
Month-by-Month Wedding Planning:
Breaking down tasks month by month can make wedding planning more manageable. Here are some key tasks to include in your monthly checklists:
- 11-8 Months Out: Research and book your honeymoon accommodations and travel.
- 7 Months Out: Send out save-the-dates to your guests.
- 6 Months Out: Finalize your wedding invitations and create a wedding website if desired.
- 5 Months Out: Plan your bridal shower and any other pre-wedding celebrations.
- 4 Months Out: Start planning the smaller details, such as wedding favours and welcome bags for guests.
- 3 Months Out: Finalize the menu and cake details with your caterer and baker.
- 2 Months Out: Confirm all vendors, create a wedding day timeline, and assign day-of tasks to your wedding party or trusted individuals.
- 1 Month Out: Finalize seating arrangements and send out the final guest count to your vendors.
- Final Week: Pack for your honeymoon, check the weather report, and confirm the contingency plan with your venue if needed. Prepare all wedding-day items, including the rings and marriage license.
Post-Wedding Checklist:
Even after the wedding, there are a few important tasks to complete:
- Write and send thank-you cards to your guests.
- Complete your gift registry and exchange any unwanted or duplicate gifts.
- Have your wedding dress cleaned and preserved.
- Work with your photographer and/or videographer to create albums and videos of your special day.
Remember, this checklist can be customized to fit your unique wedding vision and timeline. Enjoy the planning process and create memories that you will treasure forever!
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Wedding terminology
Wedding planning can be overwhelming, with endless wedding terminology to get your head around. Here is a guide to some of the wedding lingo you may come across:
Wedding Website: A personal website for the couple to communicate with guests, sharing their story, wedding details, and gift registry information. These can be free or customized for a fee.
Mood Board: A visual tool to communicate your wedding inspiration and desired style. It can include images with certain colors, textures, and physical items that inspire you.
Palette: The range of colors you plan to use at your wedding.
Shot List: A list of desired photos or videos you would like captured at your wedding.
Full Planning: A wedding planning package for couples wanting a professional to oversee every aspect of their wedding planning and day, including vendor management, scheduling, and marriage license arrangements.
Partial Planning: Month-of wedding coordination with additional planning services, dedicated to couples who want to be hands-on but need professional guidance closer to the date.
Bachelor and Bachelorette Party: The groom and bride's respective celebrations with their wedding party and/or wider groups of friends. These can be getaways or single-night parties and do not have to be the night before the wedding.
Rehearsal Dinner: A meal for the wedding party and close friends or family, held after the wedding rehearsal the day before the ceremony. It can also be a brunch or any format that suits your schedule.
First Look: A private moment for the couple to see each other before the ceremony, often captured by the photographer or videographer.
These terms are just a small part of the wedding terminology you may encounter, but understanding them will help you navigate the planning process more confidently.
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Wedding etiquette
For the Couple:
- Wedding planning: Traditionally, couples were expected to wait until after the proposal to start planning their wedding. However, in today's high-demand market, it is common for couples to book their desired venues and vendors in advance, even before getting engaged.
- Gender-inclusive wedding parties: Bridesmaids and groomsmen are no longer the only options. Couples are now creating gender-inclusive titles, such as bridespeople, groomspeople, or wedding squads, allowing them to choose the people who authentically support them.
- Invitation wording: If the couple's parents are paying for the majority of the wedding, it is customary to include their names on the invitations. However, if the couple is financing the wedding themselves, they may choose to omit their parents' names, indicating that it is their wedding, their way.
- Gift expectations: Requesting cash contributions instead of traditional presents is becoming increasingly popular. Couples may ask for cash to fund experiences, milestones, or even their dream venue.
- Rehearsal dinner: Typically, the groom's family covers the cost of the rehearsal dinner. However, if the couple prefers a specific theme or location, it is essential to communicate this to the groom's family and offer suggestions.
- Wedding dress fittings: The first wedding dress fitting usually takes place two to three months after ordering, and the second fitting should be about six weeks before the wedding. This timeline also applies to purchasing the appropriate undergarments.
- Superstitions: Some brides still adhere to superstitions, such as avoiding trying on everything they'll wear on their wedding day before the event. Another superstition suggests that seeing a nun or monk en route to the wedding foretells a barren life, though this reflects an antiquated viewpoint.
For the Guests:
- RSVPing: Guests must respond to the invitation, even if they cannot attend, and do so by the deadline or earlier. This helps the couple with their planning and seating arrangements.
- Bringing guests: Guests should only bring those listed on their invitation. The couple has likely curated the guest list carefully, considering budget constraints and venue capacity.
- Gift-giving: While guests are expected to give a gift, it is considerate to ship it directly to the couple's home, especially for destination weddings. A card can be given to the couple at the wedding, mentioning the gift.
- Plus-ones: While traditional etiquette allows for plus-ones, it can be expensive for the couple. Guests should understand if their plus-one is not accommodated and respect the couple's wishes.
- Phone usage: Guests should be mindful of their phone usage during the ceremony and key moments. It is respectful to turn off phones or silence them before the ceremony begins.
- Early departures: Guests should plan to stay for all the key moments, including the dinner, speeches, first dances, and cake-cutting. If an early departure is unavoidable, it is polite to inform the couple in advance.
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Wedding photography
Firstly, it is crucial to be prepared and organised. Communicate with the couple regularly, and have a pre-wedding meeting to go through the timeline and details of the day. Know the full timeline and the group shots that are required, and be aware of what will be happening throughout the day so you can be prepared and ready for those moments. It is also a good idea to have a printed list of important shots and assign someone who knows the families to help organise group photos.
On the day, it is important to stay calm and collected, even when things get chaotic. Remember, it is not your wedding, and you need to be supportive and adaptable. Be a friendly, helpful presence for the couple, and be ready to step in to help with any issues or unwanted guests. It is also important to be flexible and allow people to be themselves, rather than forcing them into posed shots. Capture the overall feeling and experience, and look out for candid moments, such as guests laughing or children playing.
From a technical perspective, understanding light is key to great wedding photography. Consider the colour, hardness, angle, and intensity of light, and use it to your advantage. Also, ensure you are dressed professionally and looking your best. Eat and stay hydrated throughout the day, and make sure you have all your gear and paperwork packed and ready to go.
Finally, don't be afraid to try new things and be creative, but perhaps focus on trying one new trick or technique at a wedding, rather than multiple new things, to reduce pressure and increase your odds of success.
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Frequently asked questions
It is considered taboo to use your married name before the wedding. It is also advised not to try on everything you will be wearing on your wedding day before the day itself.
It is considered bad luck if the bride trips over the threshold when entering her new home. Another superstition is that if you see a nun or a monk on the way to your wedding, you will be cursed with a barren life.
It is important to communicate your wedding dress code clearly to your guests. It is also a mistake to cut your budget by playing florist and photographer.
A veil is a traditional part of a bride's trousseau, believed to protect her from curses and hexes. Another tradition is for the bride's father to place a sixpence in her shoe as a token of good luck and prosperity.
You can create a personal wedding website to communicate with your guests and share your love story. You can also create a mood board to visually communicate your wedding inspiration and desired style.
