Franklin Dean
Wedding vows are promises exchanged between two engaged people, traditionally shared verbally during the wedding ceremony. Couples may choose to write their own vows to make them more personalised and meaningful. When writing your own vows, it is important to consider the type, style, and length of your vows, and whether you will write them together or separately. You may also want to consult examples from real couples or fictional sources for inspiration. Your vows should sound like you and your partner and reflect your unique relationship. Whether you choose to write your own vows or recite traditional ones, the exchange of vows is a pivotal moment in your wedding ceremony.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Tone | Serious, comedic, lighthearted, romantic, funny, religious, traditional |
| Length | Long, short |
| Content | Promises, stories, quotes, poems, personal, emotional |
| Format | Essay, sonnet, rap |
| Delivery | Public, private |
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Tone and length
The tone and length of your wedding vows are important factors to consider when writing them. Wedding vows are typically two to five minutes long, with some sources recommending two to three minutes as an ideal length. This length allows for personalisation without becoming too lengthy.
It is important to discuss the tone and length of your vows with your partner beforehand, to ensure you are both on the same page. You may decide to write your vows together or separately, but either way, it is beneficial to agree on a general tone and approach to maintain consistency and avoid any surprises on the wedding day.
When deciding on the tone, consider the unique bond between you and your partner, and how you want your vows to reflect your relationship. The tone can be sentimental, religious, playful, humorous, or a combination of these elements. It is essential to find a balance that feels authentic to both of you.
The length of your vows will depend on the amount of content you want to include. A basic structure for wedding vows includes addressing your partner, recounting your love story, expressing traits you admire, describing what you appreciate about the relationship, making specific promises, and sharing your vision for the future.
To ensure your vows are not too long, focus on including only the most meaningful and impactful elements. You can edit and refine your vows by limiting compliments to a few meaningful observations, including a single quote, and selecting the most important highlights to share.
Practising reading your vows out loud is crucial to help you refine the tone and length. This will also help you feel more comfortable and confident when delivering them on your wedding day.
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Quotations
Wedding vows are deeply personal, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. The following quotations can be used as inspiration, but it is important to tailor your vows to your partner and your relationship.
"I love you with my whole heart with a passion that can't be expressed in words, only in kisses, glances, and years of adventure by your side."
"I promise to be your honest, faithful, and loving wife/husband for the rest of my days. I pledge to honour, love, and cherish you as my wife/husband today and every day."
"I dedicate myself to your happiness, success, and smile. I will love you forever. You are my every dream come true, and I can't wait for the reality we get to build together."
"In faith, honesty, and love, I take you to be my wedded husband/wife. I pledge to share with you God's plan for our lives together united in Christ. For better, for worse, in sickness and in health, in joys and in sorrows, until death do us part—I promise you all of this and more with God's help to strengthen and guide me as your supportive wife/husband."
"You are my lover and my teacher, you are my model and my accomplice, and you are my true counterpart. I will love you, hold you, and honour you, I will respect you, encourage you, and cherish you, in health and sickness, through sorrow and success, for all the days of my life."
"I swear to you that I will continue to dedicate all the days of my life to filling our days with beauty and laughter. I will celebrate your spirit and all of your accomplishments, work to inspire you, and be here to remind you of your beauty and strength. You are my partner, my confidant, my other half, and I will love you for the rest of my life."
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Religious or secular
Religious Wedding Vows
Religious wedding vows are steeped in history, culture, and meaning. They are usually dictated by the religion that underlies the marriage ceremony. For example, in a Christian ceremony, the vows are spoken before God and in front of family and friends. The couple may say:
> "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part."
In a Jewish wedding, the couple may say:
> "With this ring, I wed you and pledge my love now and forever. I now take you to be my wedded [wife/husband/partner], to live together after God's ordinance in the holy relationship of marriage. I promise to love and comfort you, honour and keep you, and forsaking all others, I will be yours alone as long as we both shall live."
Secular Wedding Vows
Secular or non-religious wedding vows are legally binding but do not incorporate faith traditions or follow a religious format. They give couples more flexibility to personalise the ceremony to their unique tastes and personalities. Secular vows can be humorous and creative, referencing favourite songs, movies, or other interests.
When writing secular vows, it is important to consider what you and your partner want for your ceremony, as well as what your guests will be comfortable with and recognise as a wedding ceremony. The vows should tell the story of your relationship, go into the aspects that each of you loves about the other, and provide some perspective and guidance about marriage in general.
> "I choose you over all others. I choose you to share happiness with. I choose you to care for. I choose you to have a family with. I choose you to grow with. I choose you to love forever."
> "I promise to always care for you, connect with you, comfort you and celebrate with you. I will be by your side through whatever life may bring and cherish the time we have together."
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Humour
Wedding vows are deeply personal, and humour is a great way to showcase your unique personality and that of your partner. Humorous vows can make for an honest and heart-warming ceremony, reflecting the nature of your relationship.
If you are struggling to come up with funny vows, you can always adapt famous quotes or lines from TV shows and movies. For example, you could adapt a line from Grey's Anatomy: "To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running—ever. Nobody walks out no matter what happens. Take care when old, senile, smelly. This is forever."
However, if you want to write your own humorous vows, you could start by thinking about what you and your partner have in common. For example, do you have any shared quirks, tastes or hobbies? You could also include inside jokes or funny lines, but be sure to balance them with heartfelt sentiment and sincere promises. Here are some examples:
- "I promise to make you a bacon sandwich when you’re hungover."
- "I promise to never watch the next episode on Netflix without you, no matter how much I want to."
- "I promise to always be 100% faithful, and never a traitor."
- "I vow to be your partner in crime, whether that’s eating ice cream for dinner or plotting epic pranks on our friends and family."
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Stories and narrative
Wedding vows are a declaration of love and a lifelong commitment made in front of many witnesses. They are one of the most important and intimidating parts of a wedding. The key to writing wedding vows is not to overthink them and to make them completely yours.
Writing your own wedding vows gives you the opportunity to create promises that resonate with you and your partner, vocalise your love and hopes for the future, and provide a deeper look at your love story. You can include anything that reflects your relationship and captures your intentions for the future, such as a sentimental tale about the first time you met or a funny story that highlights your partner's quirks.
- Start by jotting down all the thoughts that come to mind about your partner and your relationship. This will allow your feelings to flow freely, alleviating any pressure to find the perfect words immediately.
- Share a story about a particular moment or experience that shows your evolution as a couple. This could be a time when you knew your partner was the one, or when they helped you through a hard time.
- Make specific promises that reflect your unique bond and capture your intentions for the future. For example, you could promise to always support your partner in achieving their goals or to go on daily walks together.
- Include a quote or line from a book, poem, lyric, or something meaningful to you as a couple. This could be a favourite line from a movie or book that sums up your feelings for your partner.
- Inject humour and keep things relatively PG. While it's great to include funny stories and inside jokes, avoid anything that might be embarrassing or sensitive.
- Consider the structure and length of your vows. Most vows follow a basic structure and length, but you can make them as short or long as you like.
- Begin writing your vows early in the wedding planning process, preferably a few months before the wedding, to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Remember, your wedding vows should be a reflection of your relationship and what you want for the future. Don't be afraid to make them personal and inject your own personality and creativity into them.
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Frequently asked questions
No, you don't have to write your own wedding vows. You can use traditional templates or religious vows.
Think about what you want to say and the type, style and length of your vows. You can also look at examples for inspiration.
You might want to include a narrative about what you love about your partner, or a roadmap of your future together. You can also include quotes or references to your favourite books or films.
Start early! Don't leave it until the night before. You should have a final copy at least three weeks before your wedding.
