Rsvp Etiquette: Mastering The Art Of The Wedding Response

Wedding RSVP cards are an important part of the wedding planning process, helping the couple to finalise their guest list and ensure a smooth planning process. The acronym RSVP stands for Répondez, s'il vous plaît, which is French for please reply. The purpose of the card is to let the hosts know whether you can attend and to provide any other information they request, such as dietary restrictions or meal choices. The tone of your response can range from formal to casual, comedic or unique, depending on the style of the wedding and your relationship with the couple. It is important to respond promptly and clearly, providing all the necessary details.

How to respond to a wedding invitation

Responding to a wedding invitation is a straightforward process, but there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure you're being polite and helpful to the couple. Here's a step-by-step guide on how to respond to a wedding invitation:

Step 1: Check the Invitation

Firstly, check the invitation for RSVP instructions. The couple may specify their preferred method of response, such as by email, a wedding website, response cards, or no specified method. If they have requested a particular method, be sure to follow their instructions.

Step 2: Respond Promptly

It is important to respond to a wedding invitation as soon as possible. This gives the couple enough time to plan and prepare for the number of guests they will be hosting. It is considerate to respond promptly and helps them finalise their guest list, catering and other details.

Step 3: Choose Your Response Method

If the couple has not specified a response method, you have a few options. You can respond by mail, email, or, if you know the couple well, a handwritten response in addition to another method can be a nice touch.

Step 4: Craft Your Response

Keep your response short and sweet, simply letting the couple know whether or not you will be attending. You don't need to go into great detail, but it is polite to express gratitude for the invitation.

If responding by email, use proper spelling and grammar, and include your contact information. Even if you can't attend, remain positive and thank the couple for thinking of you.

Step 5: Include All Relevant Details

Make sure to include any additional details requested by the couple. This may include dietary restrictions, meal choices, mailing address, and the number of guests attending with you.

Step 6: Consider a Handwritten Note

If you are unable to attend, you may wish to send a handwritten note or 'telegram' to the couple before the wedding day. This can be given to the bridal party to be read out or given to the couple, letting them know you are thinking of them.

Sample Responses

Formal Response:

> Susan and Mark Smith accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr and Mrs John Harris to the wedding reception of their daughter Sarah & Tom Duncan on Saturday, the eighteenth of August.

Split Acceptance/Regret:

> Susan and Mark Smith accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Harris for Saturday, the eighteenth of August. Jane Smith regrets that she is unable to attend.

Informal Response:

> Mark and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend your wedding on Saturday the eighteenth of August. We look forward to sharing in your special day.

Declining:

> We are so sorry we will be unable to attend your wedding. Unfortunately, we will be away on holiday. You will both be in our thoughts during your special day.

Email Response:

> Subject: Wedding RSVP – [Your Name]

>

> Dear [Couple’s Names],

>

> Thank you so much for inviting me to your wedding celebration. I am delighted to share in your joyous occasion and I send my congratulations.

>

> I am writing to confirm my attendance and provide you with the necessary details:

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> Name(s) of Attendee(s): [Your Full Name(s)]

>

> Number of Guests: [Specify the number of guests accompanying you, if any]

>

> I/We will be attending: [the ceremony and reception / only the ceremony / only the reception]

>

> Special Dietary Requirements or Restrictions: [If applicable, mention any dietary restrictions]

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> Please let me know if there is anything else you need from me. I want to ensure your day goes smoothly. Thank you again for including me. I look forward to sharing this day with you both.

>

> [Contact Information: Phone Number and/or Email Address]

RSVP deadline

The RSVP deadline is a crucial aspect of wedding planning, ensuring you can finalise the guest list and make necessary arrangements. Here are some instructive guidelines and suggestions for setting an RSVP deadline:

Timing is Key

It is recommended to set the RSVP deadline for around four weeks before the wedding date. This allows a buffer for late responses and provides an accurate headcount for your caterer and venue, who typically request this information one to two weeks ahead of the wedding. Sending invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding gives guests ample time to respond without forgetting.

Be Prominent

The RSVP deadline should be clearly stated and prominently featured on the invitation or response card. It can be emphasised with larger text or creative wording. For example, "Kindly reply by [insert date]" or "Please respond by [insert date]".

Online Options

Consider providing an online RSVP option on your wedding website, especially if you're expecting responses from guests who may not use postal mail regularly. This can streamline the process and make it more accessible for guests to respond promptly.

Follow-up Strategies

Despite your best efforts, some guests may miss the RSVP deadline. It is advisable to follow up with them a week after the deadline or even a week before it as a friendly reminder. A quick phone call, text, or email can politely nudge them to respond.

Destination Weddings

For destination weddings, it is advisable to set the RSVP deadline for at least four to six weeks before the wedding. This extended timeframe accounts for travel arrangements and allows for potential holiday disruptions. Sending invitations two to three months in advance is recommended.

Practical Considerations

When setting the RSVP deadline, remember to factor in the time needed to finalise seating arrangements, confirm meal selections, and coordinate with vendors. A timely guest count is essential for vendors like caterers, transportation companies, and rental services, who rely on accurate numbers for their preparations.

In summary, setting an RSVP deadline of approximately four weeks before the wedding and clearly communicating it to your guests is vital for effective wedding planning. This allows you to finalise details, coordinate with vendors, and ensure a memorable celebration with your loved ones.

Space for guests' names

Guest Name Format

The guest name section is where guests will write their names and the names of any additional attendees, such as spouses, dates, or children. This information is crucial for the creation of a final guest list and seating chart. On formal RSVP cards, it is customary to write "M" at the start of the line, indicating that guests should include their proper honorifics (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their names. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "Ms. Jane Pearson and Mr. Jason Brown". This ensures that the couple knows how to address each guest properly and helps with accurate seating arrangements.

Number of Guests

To avoid any misunderstandings and manage the guest list effectively, it is essential to indicate the number of guests invited per invitation. This can be done by using a phrase such as "_ of _ attending," with the second space pre-filled to specify the number of invited guests. This way, guests cannot add extra names to the RSVP, helping to prevent unexpected additions on the big day.

Plus Ones

Clearly indicating who is invited can be done in a few ways. Traditionally, the outer envelope of the invitation is addressed with the names of the invited guests, including "+1" if a plus one is offered. Some couples choose to include a small DIY RSVP card within the envelope, listing the names of the invited guests and any plus ones. This approach ensures that guests understand who is invited and avoids potential confusion.

Online RSVPs

With the rise of digital communication, many couples opt for online RSVPs through wedding websites or email responses. While this method saves time and provides convenience, it is crucial to ensure that guests understand how to respond. Including a small card with the wedding website or email address, along with a password if needed, can guide guests to the correct platform for submitting their responses.

Timely Responses

Encouraging guests to respond promptly is essential for effective wedding planning. Including a clear RSVP deadline, typically around four weeks before the wedding date, helps create a sense of urgency and ensures that guests don't procrastinate. Sending reminders a week or so before the deadline can also help improve response rates and reduce stress for the couple.

In conclusion, providing a clear and well-organised space for guests' names on wedding RSVPs is crucial for effective planning and guest management. By following these guidelines, couples can ensure they receive the information they need to create accurate guest lists, seating charts, and food preferences, ultimately contributing to a well-organised and enjoyable wedding celebration.

Accept or decline

The primary purpose of an RSVP card is to let the couple know whether or not you will be attending their wedding. This is usually formatted as checkboxes, circling, or fill-in-the-blank lines. It is important to respond as soon as possible, and definitely before the RSVP deadline, so that the couple can finalise their guest list and make the necessary arrangements.

Accepting the Invitation

If you are accepting the invitation, you can write something like:

• "Accepts with pleasure"
• "Joyfully accepts"
• "Will attend"
• "I'll be there with bells on"
• "Yes, the party doesn't start 'til I walk in!"

Declining the Invitation

If you are declining the invitation, you can write something like:

• "Declines with regret"
• "Regretfully declines"
• "Unable to attend"
• "Will be there in spirit"
• "Will toast to you two from afar"

You do not need to give a reason for declining the invitation, but if you want to, you can add a short note, such as:

• "Thank you for the invitation, but I'm not going to be able to make it."
• "Thank you for thinking of us. We wish we could be there to celebrate with you."
• "I'm so sorry I can't make it. Thank you for inviting me. I hope you have a memorable and beautiful time."
• "Sorry we won't be able to celebrate with you. Have a wonderful day!"

Special requests

The special request section of your RSVP card is a great opportunity to inject some personality into your wedding stationery. It's also a practical way to gather information that will be useful for your big day. Here are some ideas for what to include in this section:

Song Requests

Asking your guests to request their favourite songs is a fun way to get them involved in planning your wedding. It also helps to ensure that your dance floor will be full all night long! You could even ask for requests for specific moments, such as the first dance or the father-daughter dance.

Drink Preferences

If you're stocking your own bar, it can be helpful to know what drinks your guests prefer. This information can guide your purchasing decisions and ensure that everyone's favourite beverage is available.

Advice for the Newlyweds

Including a space for guests to offer advice or well-wishes is a heartwarming addition to your RSVP cards. These notes can be a lovely keepsake that you'll treasure long after the wedding.

Arrival Information

If you're providing transportation or accommodation for your guests, it can be helpful to know their arrival times. Including a space for this information on your RSVP cards can streamline the planning process.

Dietary Restrictions

While this is more of a necessity than a special request, asking about dietary restrictions is crucial. This information will be essential for your caterers and can help to avoid any last-minute surprises or panic.

Remember, the special request section is a chance to get creative and add a personal touch to your RSVP cards. Choose requests that reflect your personality and fit the style of your wedding.

Frequently asked questions