Responding To A Wedding Invitation: Etiquette And What To Say

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few key elements that should be included. These are: the request to come to the wedding, the names of the couple, and reception information. The wording can vary depending on the level of formality desired, with formal invitations typically including the full names of the hosts and all details written out in full, while casual invitations may use more conversational language and numerical figures. It's also important to respond promptly to a wedding invitation, whether you are accepting or declining, as this allows the couple to plan accordingly.

How to respond to a wedding invitation

Responding to a wedding invitation is a straightforward process, but it's important to be mindful of etiquette. Here is a guide on how to respond to a wedding invitation:

Respond Promptly

It is important to respond to a wedding invitation as soon as possible. This allows the couple to plan accordingly, especially if they wish to invite someone else in your place. If you have been invited with a plus-one, be sure to clarify whether you will be bringing someone, and if so, who.

Formal Response

A formal invitation, such as for a wedding, requires a response that is both formal and cordial. Here is an example:

> Mr. and Mrs. Smith accept with pleasure your kind invitation for Saturday, 7th July.

If you are unable to attend, a formal response could be:

> Thank you very much for the invitation. However, I will not be able to attend.

Informal Response

For a more informal invitation, such as from a friend, your response can be less formal while still being courteous. For instance:

> I am pleased to accept your invitation. Please let me know if I can bring something.

If you are unable to attend, an informal response could be:

> Thank you for the invitation. Unfortunately, I am away that weekend.

Expressing Appreciation

Whether you are accepting or declining the invitation, it is always a nice touch to express your appreciation. This can be done at the beginning or end of the event. Here are some appropriate phrases:

> I appreciate the invitation.

> Thank you for inviting me.

> Thank you for having me/us.

> I had a wonderful time.

Rejecting an Invitation

There may be many reasons why you are unable to attend a wedding. Here are some polite ways to express your regret:

> I can't, I have to work.

> I'm not coming, I have my finals next week.

> I won't be able to make it, I have a prior engagement that weekend.

> I'm sorry, I don't feel well.

> I have an important meeting that day.

> I couldn't find a babysitter.

> I have a doctor's appointment that day.

It is always a good idea to add something courteous after declining an invitation, such as:

> I'd love to, but...

What to include in your reply

When replying to a wedding invitation, it is important to be clear and prompt. Here are some guidelines on what to include in your reply:

Formality

Firstly, consider the formality of the invitation and match the tone in your reply. If the invitation is formal, your response should be formal and cordial. If the invitation is informal, your response can be less formal, but still courteous and heartfelt.

Acceptance or Regret

Clearly state whether you are accepting or declining the invitation. If you are accepting, express your pleasure and gratitude. If you are unable to attend, express your regret and, if you wish, provide a brief explanation.

Guest Information

If the invitation includes "and guest", let the host know if you will be bringing someone. If you reply only for yourself, do not bring a date or companion to the wedding.

RSVP Details

Provide all the requested information on the RSVP, such as the number of guests attending and any meal choices, if applicable. If there is no response card included with the invitation, you can reply by mail or email.

Timing

Respond to the invitation promptly. If you are unable to attend, inform the host as soon as possible so that they can invite someone else if they wish. If something unforeseen happens after you have accepted the invitation, call the host immediately to let them know.

Examples

Formal:

> Mr. and Mrs. Smith accept with pleasure your kind invitation for Saturday, 7th July.

>

> Dear Mr. and Mrs. Morrison,

> Thank you for the kind invitation to your wedding. Mr. Johnson and I will be accepting with pleasure. Is there a gift registry?

> Thank you very much.

>

> Dear Ann and John, Rob and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend Margaret and Tom's wedding on June nineteenth. Yours sincerely, Brittany

Informal:

> I am pleased to accept your invitation. Please let me know if I can bring something.

>

> Thank you for the invitation. Unfortunately, I am away that weekend.

>

> I'd love to, but I have to work.

>

> I'm not coming, I have my finals next week.

Wording examples for formal, fun, casual, creative, modern, and simple invites

Formal

The wording for formal wedding invitations is usually very traditional, with everything spelled out in full. The date and time are written out in words, and the full names of the hosts and individuals getting married are included. Here's an example:

> Mr. and Mrs. John L. Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their son Jack Alexander to Mason Jacob Kim Saturday, the seventeenth of August two thousand twenty-four at half after four at [venue name and address] Reception to follow

Fun

For fun wedding invitations, the wording should reflect the couple's playful and festive spirit. Here's an example:

> Kenzie Smith and Jennifer Smith Mark Franklin and Mary Reyes hope you'll join them on the dance floor to celebrate the marriage of their children Olivia Rose and John Michael Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address] Merriment to follow

Casual

Casual wedding invitations are more informal and conversational in tone. Numbers are usually used to convey the date and time. Here's an example:

> Kenzie and Jennifer Smith, along with Mark and Sally Reyes, invite you to share and celebrate the marriage of their children Olivia Rose and John Michael Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address] Reception to follow

Creative

Creative wedding invitations allow for more freedom in wording and design. Feel free to add a quirky request to attend. Here's an example:

> Good food, good drinks, good friends. Jack Smith & Mason Kim request you celebrate with them as they get hitched Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address] Party to follow

Modern

Modern wedding invitations feature sleek and straightforward wording, with names front and centre. Here's an example:

> Jack Smith & Mason Kim would love to eat wedding cake with you Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address] Reception to follow

Simple

Simple wedding invitations are short, sweet, and to the point. They convey the essential information in a clear and concise manner. Here's an example:

> Jack Smith & Mason Kim are getting married Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon at [venue name and address] Reception to follow

Invitation etiquette mistakes to avoid

There are a few common pitfalls to avoid when it comes to wedding invitation etiquette. Here are some tips to ensure you don't make any missteps:

• Be concise: Overloading your invites with text can result in guests missing important information. Stick to the essential details and leave the rest for insert cards or your wedding website.
• Consider the host: Traditionally, wedding invitations include the name of the person hosting (i.e., paying for) the wedding. Nowadays, this isn't always the parent(s) of the bride. It's respectful to list anyone contributing, either by name or with a line like "together with their families."
• Formal vs. casual language: The language you use in your invitation should match the level of formality of the event. If you want guests to wear black tie, opt for traditional wording. If you prefer a casual atmosphere, feel free to use modern and playful phrasing.
• Include an insert card: Certain details don't belong on the invitation itself. Provide guests with a link to your wedding website or include a separate insert card for information like dress code advice, registry details, or backup venue plans in case of bad weather.
• Addressing envelopes: When addressing invitation envelopes, spell out guests' names in full, including titles, first names, middle names (optional), and last names. Avoid nicknames or initials.
• Timing: Send your invitations out with enough time for guests to make travel arrangements if necessary. For destination weddings or weddings over a holiday weekend, send invitations three months in advance. For all other weddings, six to eight weeks is standard.
• RSVP deadline: Give your guests enough time to respond, but not so much time that they forget about the deadline. Set the RSVP deadline for three to four weeks before the wedding date.
• Plus-ones: Be thoughtful and consistent when deciding who gets a plus-one. Married, engaged, and cohabitating guests should receive a plus-one. So should wedding party members and guests who have been in a long-term relationship. For everyone else, you can set a blanket rule, such as "only immediate family members can bring a date."

How to address your wedding invitations

The following are some tips on how to address your wedding invitations:

Host Line

The opening line on a wedding invitation should name the hosts of the event. If multiple parties are hosting, you only need to include names if you're going for a formal feel. If you're hosting the wedding yourselves, this line can be omitted.

Attendance Request

The request to attend lets guests know exactly what they're being invited to.

Names of the Couple

The names of the couple are usually displayed in larger text (and often in a fancy typeface). For same-sex couples, the traditional rule of the woman's name first and the man's second is not applicable. Instead, you can choose to list names in alphabetical order or simply go with what sounds better.

Date and Time

Traditional wedding invitation wording requires the date and time to be spelled out in full, while numerical figures are often used on modern invites. If you're using figures, choose a legible font to avoid confusion. For formal weddings, everything is written out in full (no numerals).

Location

Write the name and full street address of your wedding venue, including the state and zip code. If your wedding is taking place abroad, include the country as well. The street address of a venue is usually only needed if omitting it would lead to confusion or if the wedding is at the host's home.

Reception Details

If the ceremony and reception are at the same venue, simply say "reception to follow." If the reception is elsewhere, include the full address and other pertinent information on a separate details card tucked inside the main invitation.

Dress Code (Optional)

Including dress code information is helpful but not compulsory. It can be mentioned in the lower corner or bottom center of the invite, or on a separate details card or wedding website.

Frequently asked questions