Franklin Dean
Weddings are a joyous occasion, but they also come with certain expectations and etiquette. One of the most important aspects of wedding planning for the happy couple is receiving timely responses from their guests. When you receive a wedding invitation, it is essential to respond promptly, whether you are accepting or declining. This is usually done through an RSVP card, which may include details such as the number of guests, dietary restrictions, and meal preferences. While modern methods like email or wedding websites are acceptable, a handwritten response adds a personal touch and is often appreciated by the couple. This guide will provide you with the knowledge to navigate the sometimes-complex world of wedding invitation responses, ensuring that you are a thoughtful guest and helping the couple plan their big day with ease.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Response Method | Email, wedding website, response card, no preferred method, handwritten response |
| Response Time | ASAP |
| Content | Full name, number of guests, names of guests, food choices/dietary restrictions, well wishes |
| Acceptance/Regret | Accept with pleasure, regretfully decline |
What You'll Learn
RSVPing
When it comes to RSVPing to a wedding invitation, there are a few key considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to respond promptly. Wedding planning can be stressful, and the couple will need to keep track of their guest list, confirm numbers with vendors, and finalise seating plans. Therefore, it is considerate to send your RSVP as soon as possible, even if you are unable to attend.
Secondly, the method of response may vary. Some invitations may include RSVP cards with tick boxes and pre-addressed envelopes, making it simple to respond. Others may specify a preferred method of response, such as email, wedding websites, or a particular address to post to. While it is important to respect the couple's preferred method, adding a handwritten note or card can be a thoughtful touch.
When writing your response, consider the style of the invitation and your relationship with the couple. For formal invitations, a more formal response is usually expected, such as writing in the third person and using titles and full names. For informal invitations or when addressing the couple directly, a brief and sincere response is usually sufficient. If you are unable to attend, a short explanation is polite, but there is no need to go into excessive detail.
Finally, be sure to include all the necessary information in your RSVP. This includes the number of guests attending, any dietary restrictions, and your menu choices, if applicable. It is also a nice touch to add a personal note of congratulations or well wishes for the couple.
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Handwritten responses
Responding to a wedding invitation with a handwritten note is a thoughtful way to reply to the happy couple. It is a chance to echo their excitement for their big day and show that you are taking the time to celebrate with them. Here are some tips for how to go about it:
Who to Address
Depending on your relationship with the couple, you can write a personal or formal note. For close friends or family, a personal note is appropriate, whereas, for colleagues or casual acquaintances, a more formal note is better. If you are writing a formal note, use titles and surnames, and address the couple by their full names. For example:
> Dear Katie and Richard,
> Tom and I are delighted to accept your kind invitation to attend your wedding on May 21st, 2018.
Accepting or Declining
Whether you are accepting or declining the invitation, it is important to respond promptly. This helps the couple with their planning and is a courteous thing to do. If you are accepting, a simple expression of delight at attending is sufficient. If you are unable to go, a brief note expressing your regret is best. There is no need to go into detail about your reasons for not attending. For example:
> Dear Katie and Richard,
> Thank you kindly for your invitation. Unfortunately, we regret to inform you that we will not be able to attend. We will be thinking of you and hope your day is everything you imagined.
Format
When writing your response, consider the style of the invitation and what you think the couple would appreciate. A touch of humour is often welcomed, but base the formality of your response on the invitation. If the invitation is black tie, a formal response is usually expected.
Timing
It is important to send your response promptly. As soon as you receive the invitation, check your calendar and make a decision. Send your reply as soon as possible, and don't wait until the last day indicated on the RSVP card. If you initially accept and then realise you are unable to attend, contact the couple as soon as you can to let them know.
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Who's invited?
When you receive a wedding invitation, it's important to first determine who has been invited. This information should be communicated on the wedding invitation itself.
Start by checking the inner envelope, as it will list the names of all invited guests. For example, if the outer envelope only has your name, "Miss Elly May Clampett," but the inner envelope says, "Elly May and Guest," then you know that you are responding for two guests. The same goes for families: if the outer envelope only has the parents' names, but the inner envelope includes the children's names, then the whole family is invited. Conversely, if there is no inner envelope and the outer envelope does not include "and family" or list the children's names, then only the parents are invited.
If you are invited and are given a plus one, now is the time to make a decision and inform the couple. Indicate the number of people in your party and write in the full name of your guest. This information is crucial for the couple to correctly fill out seating charts and place cards.
If you are hoping to bring your children, carefully check over the entire invitation suite to ensure there is nothing that indicates an adults-only wedding.
It is also important to respond promptly, confirming your attendance or regrets. This helps the couple keep track of their guest list, which is an important and often stressful part of the wedding planning process.
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Food choices
When it comes to food choices, there are a few things to consider when answering a wedding invitation. Firstly, it is important to note that including a menu in the invitation is not necessary unless guests need to pre-order from a list of options. If there is a set menu for everyone, it is often simpler to omit the menu details from the invitation. This way, guests do not have the opportunity to be fussy and request changes.
However, if the couple chooses to offer different menu options, it is helpful to include the full menu in the invitation, along with tick boxes for guests to select their preferences. This can be done through concertina or pocketfold invitations, which provide ample space for menu details and guest selections. Remember to include dietary requirements on the reply card, regardless of whether menu choices are provided.
If children are invited, it can be a bit more complicated. One option is to sort out their meals privately without mentioning it in the invitation. Alternatively, you can include a separate card with children's menu options and a designated way for them to respond, such as their own reply card or a separate contact number or email.
When indicating your food choices, always use your initials next to your selected dish. This helps the couple and caterers keep track of how many of each dish to prepare. Finally, be sure to send your RSVP back by the requested due date, as the couple will need this information for their seating plan and vendor confirmations.
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Well wishes
When responding to a wedding invitation, it is important to follow the requested format, whether that be an RSVP card, email, wedding website, or response card. It is also customary to respond promptly, confirming your attendance or regrets. Here are some tips for including well wishes in your response:
- Handwritten Notes: If you have the option or are responding via a handwritten note, consider adding a personal touch with a congratulatory message or well wishes. This could be a simple expression of delight at being included or a wish for the couple's happiness. For instance, "We are thrilled to be a part of your special day, and we wish you both a lifetime of love and joy."
- Telegram or Card: If you are unable to attend, consider sending a telegram to the venue or a member of the bridal party. Alternatively, send a card to the couple before the wedding day, expressing your regrets and well wishes. For example, "We are so sorry we cannot be there to celebrate with you. Please know that we are thinking of you and sending our warmest congratulations."
- Personal Connection: Include a throwback song request that reminds you of good times with the couple, or mention a specific memory that you cherish. This adds a unique and heartfelt touch to your well wishes. For example, "We still remember that crazy karaoke night when we first became friends. Here's to many more fun memories to come!"
- Excitement and Appreciation: Use the response card as an opportunity to express your excitement about the wedding and appreciation for the couple's hard work in planning the event. For instance, "We are so excited to celebrate this happy occasion with you both! All your efforts in planning this special day are truly remarkable, and we can't wait to make more memories together."
- Warmth and Support: Convey a sense of warmth and support in your well wishes, especially if you have a close relationship with the couple. For example, "Your love and commitment to each other inspire us, and we are so happy to witness this new chapter in your journey together. May your bond grow stronger with each passing year."
- Humour: If appropriate and comfortable for you, adding a touch of humour to your well wishes can be a lovely way to bring a smile to the couple's faces. It could be a lighthearted memory or a playful prediction for the future. For instance, "We still laugh about that time we went strawberry picking and accidentally matched outfits with the farmhands! Here's to many more adventures and laughs together."
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Frequently asked questions
If the invitation includes an RSVP card, simply tick the box that applies to your response and send it back in the provided envelope. If there is no RSVP card, a handwritten note or congratulatory card will suffice.
Depending on your relationship to the couple, you can write a personal or formal note. If you are accepting the invitation, you can write something like:
> [Your name] and [your plus one] are delighted to accept your invitation to attend your wedding on [date]. We look forward to sharing in your special day.
If you are declining the invitation, you can write something like:
> Thank you kindly for your invite. Unfortunately, we regret to inform you that we will not be able to attend. We will be thinking of you and hope your special day will be everything you imagined it to be.
You should respond as soon as possible. The couple will need to know the number of attendees to finalise their plans, including confirming the headcount with vendors.
It is important to send your RSVP card back, even if you cannot attend. If you don't, the bride or groom may have to reach out to you, which can be stressful when they have a lot of other things to organise.
If you miss the RSVP date but still plan on attending, send the card back and also call the couple personally. They may have assumed you couldn't make it and moved on to inviting other guests.
