Junior Rasmussen
Planning a wedding involves a lot of decision-making, and one of the most memorable moments of the day is the first dance. While there is no strict rule about when to hold the first dance, there are several factors to consider, such as the flow of the reception, whether you want to include a grand entrance, and the energy levels of your guests. The first dance is a chance to showcase your personality and connection as a couple, so choosing the right song and timing is essential to making it a truly special moment.
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What You'll Learn
First dance song choice
The first dance is one of the most important moments of a wedding, and choosing the right song can be difficult. The song should be meaningful to the couple and reflect their love story and personalities. It is a good idea to choose a song with a memorable verse and chorus, and one that is unique and unexpected. Couples can also consider taking dance lessons together to boost their confidence.
There are no rules when it comes to choosing a first dance song. Couples can opt for a classic love song, something traditional, or even a more upbeat and unconventional option. The tempo of the song is an important consideration, especially if the couple wants to choreograph their dance.
For those who want to stick to something more traditional, there are plenty of romantic and slow-tempo songs that are not overplayed. For example, "I Melt With You" by Modern English is a classic new wave hit from the 80s with romantic lyrics and a dreamy melody. "Passionate" by C-Trox is another option, offering a smooth and sensual vibe with a slow and steady beat.
On the other hand, couples may want to choose a non-traditional song that is meaningful to them. Some options include "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab For Cutie, a hauntingly beautiful song with a romantic and melancholy feel, or "Always" by Blink-182 for a pop/punk alternative. "Leave The Door Open" by Silk Sonic (with Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak) is another smooth and soulful choice with a classic sound.
The length of the first dance song is also something to consider. Wedding experts recommend that couples don't feel pressured to stay on the dance floor longer than they are comfortable, with 60 to 90 seconds being the ideal length for most.
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Choreography
There is no strict rule about when the first dance should take place during a wedding reception. Some couples opt for a first dance at the beginning of the reception, while others prefer to wait until after dinner. Doing the first dance at the start of the reception can be a great way to signal to guests that it's time to get up and celebrate on the dance floor. On the other hand, waiting until after dinner ensures that all guests, including those who have just arrived, are present. It can also be a natural transition, especially if you cut the cake first, as it is customary to cut the cake after dinner.
If you're feeling nervous about your first dance, choreography can be a great way to ease your worries and set a framework for your moves. Taking dance lessons together can be a fun activity during your engagement and help you feel more confident and prepared. When choosing a song, opt for one that is meaningful to you as a couple rather than a commonly played hit. You don't have to dance for the entire song; just pick a memorable verse and chorus that your guests will remember.
There are a few things to keep in mind regarding the timing of your first dance. Firstly, consider the number of guests you have and their preferences. For example, if you have many elderly guests, they might prefer an earlier dance time. Secondly, if you want your photographer to capture the moment, ensure they are available if you plan to dance later in the evening. Finally, be mindful of your own energy levels and drink consumption, as you don't want to be too tired or tipsy to remember your choreography!
To summarise, the timing of your first dance is entirely up to you and should be based on your preferences and what works best for your wedding timeline. Don't stress too much about the timing and instead focus on enjoying this special moment with your partner.
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Dance lessons
There are many different opinions on when the best time is to have your first dance at your wedding. Some sources suggest that the first dance should take place at the start of the reception, while others suggest waiting until after dinner, or even during cocktail hour. Ultimately, it depends on how you would like the reception to flow.
One idea is to use the father-daughter and/or mother-son dances to kick off the dancing portion of the night and get everyone's attention. This can be a great transition into the first dance, which can then be followed by the cake-cutting ceremony. Most guests will already be gathered around you, so it's a natural transition.
To make the most of this moment, many couples opt for dance lessons ahead of their wedding. Learning to dance for your wedding is a special gift you and your spouse-to-be can give to each other, and it can be a fun date night activity during your engagement. There are many online wedding dance programs designed for beginners that you can follow at your own pace, as well as in-person dance studios that offer lessons and choreography. These lessons can help you relax into the moment and ensure that your first dance will be a cherished memory.
When choosing a song for your first dance, it's important to select something that is meaningful to you as a couple. You can choose a song with a memorable verse and chorus, or even a unique mash-up. Remember, you don't need to dance for the entire song – a length of 60 to 90 seconds is often enough to create a special moment.
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When to do it
There is no strict rule about when to have your first dance as newlyweds. The best time depends on how you would like the reception to flow and your personal preference. Here are some ideas about when to fit in your first dance:
During Cocktail Hour
Everybody is in high spirits during cocktail hour, so why not use this time to dance? You can then transition smoothly into dinner and more dancing. This is also a great way to get everyone's attention. However, cocktail hour is also the best opportunity to greet your guests, so you might not want to use this time for your first dance.
After Dinner
Having your first dance after dinner is a great way to kick off the dance floor for the rest of the evening. It can be much easier to get your guests dancing if they are joining you, rather than just turning on the music and expecting them to start dancing. However, if you have your first dance after dinner, you might feel too full from eating or drinking to dance comfortably.
At the Start of the Reception
Traditionally, the first dance will take place at the beginning of the wedding reception. After everyone is settled, the newlyweds make their grand entrance to applause and move directly to the dance floor. However, this means you miss out on the opportunity to signal to your guests that the evening is transitioning from dinner to dancing. You can solve this problem by using the father-daughter and/or mother-son dances to kick off the dancing.
Before or After Speeches
You could have your first dance before or after your thank-you speech to your guests. This could be a good way to get everyone's attention, but you might prefer to give your speech while your guests are sitting down and paying attention, probably at the end of dinner.
Other Options
You could have your first dance during the first look and skip the crowd altogether. Alternatively, you could have your first dance at the end of the night before you leave to start the slow songs at the end of the evening.
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How long it should last
There is no strict rule for how long your first dance should last, and ultimately the length of your first dance is your decision. However, wedding experts suggest that the ideal first dance lasts between 60 and 90 seconds, or two to three minutes. This is long enough for you to enjoy the moment without feeling uncomfortable, and for your guests to enjoy watching without losing interest.
If you are eager and confident to take the dance floor, three minutes is a great length of time. However, if you are not confident dancers, it is a good idea to invite your guests to join you after 90 seconds. You can also ask your guests to join halfway through if you are uncomfortable being the centre of attention.
If you are having a choreographed first dance, it is recommended to have your last lesson at least three weeks before the wedding. This will give you a chance to solidify your moves while keeping them fresh in your mind.
The first dance usually takes place at the start of the reception, but you can use transition moments in the order of events as an opportunity to hit the dance floor. For example, you could close out cocktail hour with your first dance, and then transition into dinner and more dancing. Alternatively, you can wait until after dinner and cake-cutting to signal to your guests that the evening is segueing from dining to dancing.
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Frequently asked questions
There is no definitive answer to this, it's a matter of personal preference. However, some popular options include: after the reception dinner, during cocktail hour, or at the start of the reception.
Wedding experts recommend that there's no need to stay on the dance floor longer than you feel comfortable. A length of 60 to 90 seconds is often considered the sweet spot, with three minutes being a good length if you're eager and confident.
The song choice is up to the newlywed couple. It's best to choose a song that is meaningful to you and your partner, rather than one chosen from a list of common hits.
If you're nervous about the first dance, consider taking dance lessons or choreographing the dance. It's also important to remember that you don't have to perform and that you should enjoy the moment with your partner.
It's best to inform them well in advance, rather than waiting until the week before.
