Franklin Dean
Selecting a bridal party is one of the first things to do after getting engaged. While there are no rules that require you to have a wedding party, it is a great way to involve your closest friends and family in your special day. When choosing your bridal party, it is important to consider the size of your wedding, the dynamic between your friends and family, and your wedding budget. It is also important to remember that you are not limited to a certain number of bridesmaids or groomsmen and that you can have a mixed-gender wedding party.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of bridesmaids and groomsmen | There is no rule that the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen should be equal. It is more important to include the people who matter most than to focus on symmetry. |
| Selection criteria | Choose individuals with whom you have a close, meaningful connection and who have made a tremendous impact on your life. |
| Reliability | Emphasize reliability by selecting friends who you know will answer your emails, show up when you need them, and be more prepared than you. |
| Compatibility | Consider how your wedding party will get along. That doesn't mean everyone has to be best friends, but avoid including anyone who tends to rub people the wrong way. |
| Budget | Being a bridesmaid or groomsman is expensive, so be mindful of your friends' financial situations. |
| Feelings | Think about people's feelings when selecting your wedding party. Sometimes, having fewer bridesmaids or groomsmen is the easiest way to make sure no one’s feelings are hurt. |
| Siblings | Including your siblings is the perfect way to start choosing your bridesmaids and groomsmen. |
| Alternative roles | If you don't want to include certain people in your wedding party, there are plenty of other roles for them, such as ushers, ceremony readers, or escorts. |
| Timing | Ask your friends and family to be in your wedding party a few months after getting engaged or 8-12 months before your wedding day. |
| Expenses | Traditionally, wedding party members pay for their attire, travel, and accommodations. In some cases, they might also chip in for pre-wedding events. |
What You'll Learn
Include your siblings, or give them another role
Including your siblings in your wedding party is a great way to start choosing your bridesmaids and groomsmen. If your siblings are much younger, you may prefer to have them serve as ushers or junior attendants. However, if they are close to your age, definitely give them the full honour. There is nothing stopping a bride from making her brother a bridesman or a groom from making his sister a groomslady.
If you have more than one sibling, you can have them all in your wedding party. It is your day and your choice. If you are worried about your wedding party being too large, you could give your siblings different roles, such as ushers or ceremony readers. If you have a larger wedding party, you could also have your siblings walk you down the aisle, instead of just one person.
If you are not very close to your siblings, you do not have to include them in your wedding party. You could instead set them apart in a special way, such as giving them a different bouquet or boutonnière, or seating them beside you at the head table.
Remember, there is no rule that says you have to have a wedding party at all. If you are worried about hurting your siblings' feelings, you could skip this custom altogether.
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Emphasise reliability
When it comes to selecting your bridesmaids and groomsmen, it's important to emphasise reliability. While you may not need your wedding party to be heavily involved in the planning process, there will undoubtedly be moments when you'll need to rely on their support.
Reliability is a key factor to consider when choosing your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Opt for friends or family members who you know will be responsive and punctual. They should be individuals who you can count on to answer your emails promptly, arrive early, and be well-prepared. Their dependability will be especially important when dealing with tight deadlines, such as ordering bridesmaid dresses, and ensuring everything runs smoothly on your wedding day.
It's also worth noting that being a part of a wedding party comes with certain responsibilities and expectations. While it shouldn't feel like a second job, your bridesmaids and groomsmen should be prepared to take on some tasks and duties. This includes their attendance and participation in pre-wedding events and activities. If you know someone in your circle has a busy schedule, is pursuing higher education, or is going through a demanding phase in their life, it might be wise to have an honest conversation with them about their availability and willingness to commit.
Remember, the selection process is about choosing individuals who you can depend on not just for your wedding day but also during the planning journey and beyond. By emphasising reliability, you can ensure that your wedding party is composed of supportive and responsive individuals who will be there for you whenever you need them.
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Consider personalities and how they'll get along
When selecting your bridesmaids and groomsmen, it's important to consider the personalities of your choices and how they will get along. While they don't all have to be best friends, you'll want to avoid any potential drama on your big day. So, it's worth thinking about how your choices will interact and if any of them have a strong or abrasive personality that might rub people the wrong way.
Instead, aim for a group of bridesmaids and groomsmen who are friendly, cordial, and can easily transition between different groups. This will help to ensure your wedding day is stress-free and that your wedding party can get along and work together.
To help with this, you can make a list of all the people you are considering and categorise them based on how you know them. This will help you to see who knows who and how your choices fit into the timeline of your life. It will also help you to ensure that you are choosing people you are close to and who have a meaningful connection to you. Remember, you want to be your authentic self around your wedding party, so choose people who accept and value you for who you are.
If you are worried about any potential clashes, you can also speak to your choices directly and honestly. Check in with them and make sure they are comfortable with the financial and time commitments involved in being a bridesmaid or groomsman. This will also give you an opportunity to gauge their level of interest and enthusiasm for the role.
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Be mindful of budget
Being a bridesmaid or groomsman can be expensive, even if the couple is paying for some of the expenses. It is important to be mindful of your friends' and family members' budgets when selecting your wedding party. Before asking someone to be in your wedding party, call them up to discuss their financial situation and let them know you would love to include them. If they are in a tough spot financially, consider alternative ways for them to be involved in the wedding, such as giving a reading, making a toast at the rehearsal dinner, or serving as ushers.
There are many costs associated with being a member of the wedding party, including flights, gifts, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and wedding attire. While the couple may chip in for the suit or dress, these costs can still add up for the wedding party. It is important to be transparent about the expected costs and give your wedding party a heads-up as early as possible. This will allow them to plan and budget accordingly and avoid any financial stress.
If you are set on having a large wedding party, consider the financial situation of each person you want to include. If you know someone is going through financial difficulties, be sensitive to their situation and consider alternative ways for them to be involved. On the other hand, if you are on a tight budget yourself, it may be best to have a smaller wedding party to keep costs down.
Discuss the expected costs and responsibilities with your wedding party and be flexible if needed. For example, if someone is unable to afford the dress or suit you have chosen, work with them to find a more affordable option. Remember, the most important thing is to have your closest friends and family by your side on your special day, and there are many ways to include them without breaking the bank.
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Think about feelings
When selecting your bridesmaids and groomsmen, it's important to be mindful of people's feelings. One way to avoid hurt feelings is to have a smaller wedding party. This way, you can avoid the stress of deciding who makes the cut and who doesn't. A smaller group consisting of only your sister and your childhood best friend, for instance, could save you a lot of stress. On the other hand, if you're set on having a large wedding party, it might be better to include one more person on the fringe than to leave them out and risk hurting their feelings.
It's also important to be considerate of your wedding party's feelings when it comes to expenses. Being a bridesmaid or groomsman can be expensive, even if you chip in for their accommodations or attire. If you know a friend is going through financial difficulties, have an honest conversation with them before making your official ask. Let them know you'd love to include them, but also offer alternative ways for them to be involved if the financial burden of being in the wedding party is too much. Remember, close friends can still play a significant role in your wedding without being part of the bridal party. They can give toasts at the rehearsal dinner, serve as ushers, or hand out programs.
In addition, when deciding on the size of your wedding party, consider the feelings of your partner's siblings. While it's not mandatory to include them, doing so is generally a good idea. Excluding them could create tension with your in-laws. However, if you're set on having a small wedding party, you can offer them other special roles, such as ushers or ceremony readers.
Lastly, be mindful of the feelings of those who are not chosen as bridesmaids or groomsmen. No one wants to leave their loved ones with hurt feelings ahead of the big day. There are plenty of other roles that important family members and friends can take on, such as serving as ushers, ceremony readers, processional escorts, or even marriage license witnesses.
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Frequently asked questions
No, you don't have to have the same number of people standing on each side of the altar. In fact, it's becoming increasingly common for couples to have uneven bridal parties. If you're worried about how this will look in photos, there are many ways to get creative with the wedding ceremony processional and recessional, the photographs, and other aspects of the celebration.
Reliability, dependability, and friendliness are key qualities to look for in a bridesmaid or groomsman. You'll want to choose people who you know will answer your emails, show up when you need them to, and get along well with the other members of the wedding party. It's also important to consider each person's financial situation, as being a bridesmaid or groomsman can be expensive, and you don't want to put anyone in a difficult spot.
Start by picking out your wedding color palette, including primary and secondary colours. Then, decide on the bridesmaids' dress colours, and choose the groomsmen's outfits, keeping it simple with neutral colours and adding pops of colour with their accessories. Finally, match one element between the two sides, such as the colour of the bridesmaids' dresses and the groomsmen's ties.
