George Boyle
When it comes to wedding planning, there are a lot of factors to consider, and one of the most important is the response date. While it may seem like a small detail, the response date plays a crucial role in helping you finalise your guest list and make other necessary arrangements. In this article, we will discuss the importance of setting a response date and provide guidelines on how to determine the ideal timeframe for your guests to RSVP. We will also offer suggestions on how to politely remind guests to respond and what to do if some guests fail to respond by the specified date. By the end, you should have a clear understanding of how to set a response date that works for you and your guests.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| How to respond to a wedding invitation | It is important to respond promptly to any wedding invitation. Check your schedule and consult with anyone else included in your invitation, then make your response as soon as you can. If you cannot make it, the couple will have time to invite someone else. |
| Response format | If the invitation includes an RSVP but no response card, you can reply in writing or by email. Responses can be formal and follow the wording of the invitation or personal and brief, depending on how well you know the hosts. |
| Bringing a guest | If the invitation is addressed to you "and guest", you must decide if you want to bring someone and let the host know. If you reply only for yourself, do not bring a date or companion. |
| Timing | It is customary to send wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. Save-the-date cards are typically sent six to eight months in advance but can be mailed up to a year before. |
| RSVP deadline | As a general rule of thumb, you want to make your RSVP date at least two to three weeks before your wedding date. This gives you enough time to finalise the guest list and share the final numbers with the caterer. |
What You'll Learn
Respond promptly to any wedding invitation
Responding promptly to any wedding invitation is a must. It's considered good etiquette to check your schedule and consult with anyone else included in your invitation as soon as possible. This way, if you can't make it, the couple will have enough time to invite someone else in your place.
If the invitation is addressed to you "and guest", you must decide whether you want to bring someone and inform the host of your plans. If you only respond for yourself, it's considered rude to bring a date or companion to the wedding.
If the invitation includes an RSVP but no response card, you can reply in writing or by email. There are two types of responses: a formal reply that follows the wording of the invitation, or a personal note, which should be brief but sincere.
Formal Reply
Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June.
Personal Note
Dear [Hosts], [Partner] and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend [Couple's Names] wedding on [Date]. Yours sincerely, [Your Name]
Dear [Host], I am so sorry that I can’t join you and [Partner's Name] for your wedding. I have to be in [Location] on [Date], but you two will be in my thoughts on your special day. Love to you both, [Your Name]
If something comes up and you can no longer attend after accepting, it is courteous to call the hosts immediately and let them know. This will give them the opportunity to invite someone else or inform the caterers.
While it is not customary to respond to "Save the Dates", it is considered good manners to acknowledge them, especially if you know you cannot attend. This gives the couple a heads-up for planning purposes and the opportunity to invite someone else.
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Check your schedule and consult others on the invitation
When you receive a wedding invitation, it's important to respond promptly. Check your schedule and consult with anyone else included in the invitation to coordinate your response. This is especially important if you cannot attend, as a prompt response will give the couple time to invite someone else in your place.
If the invitation is addressed to you "and guest", you must decide whether you want to bring someone and inform the host of your plans. If you only respond for yourself, do not bring a date or companion to the wedding.
When an invitation includes an RSVP but no response card, you can reply in writing or by email. A formal response should follow the wording of the invitation and be written in the third person:
> Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret that they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June.
A personal note, usually written to hosts you know well, should be brief but sincere:
> Dear Ann and John, Rob and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend Margaret and Tom’s wedding on June nineteenth. Yours sincerely, Brittany
If you are unable to attend, it is courteous to inform the hosts as soon as possible, especially if you had previously accepted the invitation. This will allow them to adjust their plans, such as informing the caterer or inviting someone else.
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Make a decision about bringing a guest
When it comes to deciding whether to bring a guest to a wedding, there are a few key considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to promptly respond to the invitation, as this will allow the couple to invite someone else if you are unable to attend. If the invitation is addressed to you "and guest", it is customary to inform the host of your plans. In this case, if you only respond for yourself, it is polite to refrain from bringing a date or another companion to the wedding.
It is also important to consider the nature of your relationship with the person who has invited you to the wedding. If you are in a committed relationship, it is generally expected that you will be invited with a plus-one. However, if you are single, the decision to bring a guest may be more discretionary and should be discussed with the couple. If the wedding is a destination wedding, it is often considerate to offer a plus-one as it can be overwhelming for a guest to travel and stay alone in an unfamiliar place.
Another factor to consider is the couple's budget and venue constraints. Weddings can be expensive, and adding extra names may not always be feasible. In such cases, the couple may set clear criteria for who can bring a plus-one, such as only allowing single attendants to bring an additional person. It is also worth noting that you shouldn't feel obligated to return the plus-one favour if you were invited to a friend's wedding with a plus-one. Each wedding is unique, and the couple may have different preferences and constraints.
When making your decision, it is essential to communicate clearly and kindly with the couple. If you are unsure about whether you can bring a guest, it is best to reach out and ask directly. This will help avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.
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Reply in writing or by email if no response card provided
If you've received a wedding invitation without a response card, the best course of action is to reply promptly in writing or by email. It is considered good etiquette to respond as soon as possible, ideally within a weekend of receiving the invitation, to allow the couple enough time to invite someone else if you are unable to attend.
There are two types of written responses: a formal reply in the third person, or a personal note. A formal reply follows the wording of the invitation and is usually reserved for hosts you don't know very well. For example:
> Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret that they are unable to accept) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June.
A personal note, on the other hand, is briefer and more sincere, and is typically used for hosts you know well. For instance:
> Dear Ann and John, Rob and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend Margaret and Tom’s wedding on June nineteenth. Yours sincerely, Brittany
If you are unable to attend, a simple note will suffice:
> Dear Agatha, I am so sorry that I can’t join you and Max for your wedding. I have to be in Chicago on business, but you two will be first in my thoughts on your special day. Love to you both, Dottie
If you are responding via email, it is important to maintain a courteous and formal tone, using appropriate spelling and grammar. Even if you are unable to attend, it is polite to send a quick note expressing your regrets.
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Alert hosts if you can no longer attend
It is important to alert the hosts as soon as possible if you can no longer attend a wedding. This is because the final guest count is crucial for the caterer, rental company, and bartender to provide sufficient supplies. It is recommended to call the couple directly, as texting may seem unapologetic and impersonal. If you are close to the couple, it is also recommended to follow up with a handwritten note or phone call to express your apologies and well wishes.
> "Dear [Couple's Names],
> I am so sorry that I can't join you on your special day. I wanted to let you know as soon as possible so that you can inform your caterers and perhaps invite someone else. I hope you have a wonderful day and I wish you all the best."
If you are unable to attend due to illness, it is also considerate to reach out to the wedding planner or a close friend of the couple to inform them of the change. This way, adjustments can be made without burdening the couple with details on their wedding day.
Even if you cannot attend the wedding in person, you can still send a thoughtful message in a card to convey your love and best wishes. Here are some examples:
> Wishing you a lifetime of love, happiness, and laughter. I'm sorry I couldn't be there to celebrate with you, but my heart is with you both on your special day.
> Your love story has always been one of my favourites, and I am thrilled to see you both beginning this incredible journey. I'm sorry I can't be there, but I'm sending all my love and best wishes.
It is important to respond promptly to any wedding invitation, and to only accept if you are confident in your ability to attend. This is because the couple will have time to invite someone else in your place if you decline.
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Frequently asked questions
Traditionally, invitations are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. Save-the-date cards are typically sent out six to eight months in advance, but can be mailed up to a year ahead of time if you've already finalised the details.
As a general rule of thumb, you want to make your RSVP date at least two to three weeks before your wedding date. This gives you enough time to finalise the headcount for the caterer and seating chart.
It is important to respond promptly to any wedding invitation. Check your schedule and consult with anyone else included in your invitation, then make your response as soon as possible. If you are unable to attend, it is courteous to let the couple know immediately so they can invite someone else if they wish.
