Jewish Wedding Rituals: Conclusion Customs

Jewish weddings are steeped in ritual and tradition, and one of the most well-known rituals that concludes the ceremony is the breaking of the glass. This ritual is usually performed by the groom, who smashes a glass underfoot, although in some instances, the bride may also participate. The breaking of the glass symbolises several things, including the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, the fragile nature of human relationships, and the hope for abundant happiness and children. This ritual is followed by guests shouting Mazel Tov! to wish the couple good luck and fortune.

The signing of the ketubah (marriage contract)

The signing of the ketubah, or marriage contract, is one of the oldest Jewish wedding traditions, dating back two thousand years. It is a unilateral agreement drawn by witnesses in accordance with Jewish civil law, outlining the groom's responsibilities to his bride. The ketubah is not a ceremonial document of scripture or prayer, but a statement of law that provides the framework of love.

The ketubah is signed by the couple and two witnesses before the ceremony takes place. The witnesses must be halakhically valid and cannot be blood relatives of the couple. In Orthodox Judaism, women are also not considered valid witnesses. The groom agrees to be bound by the terms of the ketubah in the presence of the witnesses, who then sign the document. Family and friends are usually present for the signing, which often takes place in a separate, more intimate ceremony immediately before the wedding.

The ketubah outlines the groom's obligations to his bride, including the provision of food, clothing, and marital relations. It also includes the husband's guarantee to pay a certain sum in the event of divorce or his death, and inheritance rights obligatory upon his heirs should he die before his wife. The exact amount is usually 200 silver denaria for a virgin and 100 silver denaria for a widow, divorced woman, or convert, though this varies between communities.

The ketubah is not a mutual agreement; the wife agrees only to accept the husband's proposal of marriage. It is not a bill of sale, and the man does not purchase the bride. Instead, it represents the witnesses, who attest to the groom's actions, promises, and statements, and the bride's willing acceptance of the marriage proposal. It is a charter of the woman's rights in marriage and of the man's duties, designed to protect the wife and ensure her husband does not regard divorce lightly.

The ketubah is traditionally written in Aramaic, the lingua franca of Jews at the time ketubot became standardised, to ensure the couple understood the contract. However, many contemporary ketubot are written in Hebrew or include an additional official version in Hebrew, or even English or another vernacular language. They are often decorated, with different Jewish communities adopting styles and shapes characteristic of their localities and artistic traditions.

After the signing, the ketubah is traditionally read aloud under the chuppah during the wedding ceremony, usually in the original Aramaic, but sometimes in translation. It is then handed to the bride or her mother for safekeeping. The ketubah is often framed and displayed in the couple's home as a daily reminder of their vows and responsibilities to each other, though some communities display it in a private section of the home or not at all.

The veiling of the bride

The groom, accompanied by his parents, the rabbi, and other dignitaries, proceeds to the bride, who is flanked by both mothers, for the veiling ceremony. The groom places the veil over the bride's face and recites the blessing given to Rebecca by her mother and brother before she left for her marriage to Isaac: "Achotenu: at hayi le alfei revavah—'Our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of ten thousands' (Genesis 24:60)". The rabbi then pronounces a blessing upon the couple, and the parents may extend their words of hope and prayer. In some families, the bride's father places his hands over her head and offers a priestly benediction.

The veiling ceremony is rooted in the Bible, with two instances of a woman veiling herself in the presence of a man: Tamar and Rebecca. The latter is the most obvious origin of the bedeken, as Rebecca veils herself when she is told that Isaac is approaching. "And she said to the servant, 'What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us?' And the servant said, 'It is my master.' And she took her veil and covered herself" (Gen. 24:64).

There are several interpretations of the veil's symbolism, including:

• Modesty: The veil symbolises the added level of modesty the bride is expected to adopt as a married woman. This interpretation is based on the story of Rebecca, who took her veil and covered herself when she saw her bridegroom, Isaac, approaching.
• Unapproachability: The veil symbolises the bride's new unapproachability to others, not only sexually but also as a sanctified object in the temple.
• Spirituality: The veil symbolically directs attention away from the physical and towards the spiritual, demonstrating that the groom's interest in the bride lies in her inner qualities of character rather than her physical beauty.
• Holiness: The bride and groom are in an elevated state of holiness under the chuppah, with the feminine aspect of God shining through the bride's face. The veil covers her face to provide privacy during this holy moment.
• Protective screen: The veil provides a sense of privacy and separation, allowing the bride and groom to exchange discreet glances without anyone watching.

The veiling ceremony is traditionally performed only for a bride's first marriage. In some communities, the groom is not present for the veiling, and the rabbi ceremoniously veils the bride. However, in most ceremonies, the absence of the groom is not permitted. The bride wears the veil until the conclusion of the chuppah ceremony.

The chuppah (wedding canopy)

The chuppah, or wedding canopy, is a crucial element of a Jewish wedding ceremony, symbolising the new home and life that the couple will build together. The word 'chuppah' means 'covering' in Hebrew and is mentioned in the Bible in association with marriage.

The chuppah is a square cloth canopy, usually made from silk or velvet, supported by four poles. It is traditionally held up by four men and decorated with flowers, foliage, or a tallit (prayer shawl). The chuppah is often handmade, with couples paying tribute to their ancestors by incorporating heirlooms into the canopy or including friends and family by asking them to hold up the poles.

The ceremony takes place under the chuppah, and the couple stands beneath it for the duration of their vows. In some traditions, the bride circles the groom three or seven times under the chuppah, symbolising the creation of a new family circle and the centrality of one spouse to the other. The chuppah is also where the groom traditionally gives the bride a ring, and the ketubah (marriage contract) is read aloud.

The chuppah is considered an object of Jewish ceremonial art, and considerable attention is often given to its design and decoration. It is preferable for the chuppah ceremony to be held outdoors, symbolising the couple's hopes of being blessed with a large family, in keeping with God's blessing to Abraham.

The circling of the groom

There are several interpretations of the ritual's symbolism. One interpretation is that the bride is creating an invisible wall of protection around the groom, shielding him from evil spirits, the glances of other women, and the temptations of the world. The number seven is considered a number of good fortune in Judaism and is associated with the seven wedding blessings, the seven days of creation, and the removal of seven shells of solitude from the groom's soul. The circling also symbolises the creation of a new family circle, with the couple's primary allegiance shifting from their parents to each other.

In traditional terms, the circling ritual also represents the symbolic transfer of the bride from her father's house to her husband's house. Additionally, it signifies the bride's shift in commitments, with her top priority now being her husband, while before it was her parents.

Some couples choose to adapt this ritual to reflect modern relationships and egalitarian values. For example, some couples choose to circle each other or take turns circling one another to symbolise their equal partnership. These variations demonstrate the evolving nature of Jewish wedding traditions, adapting to contemporary perspectives while still honouring the rich symbolism and cultural significance of the rituals.

The breaking of the glass

There are several interpretations of the meaning behind this tradition. One interpretation is that it is a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and that even in the happiest moments, we must remember the losses suffered by the Jewish people. Another interpretation is that the fragility of the glass represents the frailty of human relationships, and that even the strongest love can break. The loud noise made by the breaking of the glass is also thought to scare away demons that may be attracted to the happy couple.

Other interpretations include the idea that the abundance of tiny shards of glass represents the abundance of life the couple will enjoy together, and that the act of breaking the glass symbolises that a marriage is not about material goods but about two people being together and committed to each other. Some also believe that by breaking the glass, any potential cracks in the relationship are transferred onto the glass, and the relationship will remain seamless and wonderful.

After the glass is broken, the crowd shouts "Mazel tov", which means "good luck" in Hebrew. Many couples choose to have something made from the shards of the glass, such as a mosaic or another decorative piece to display in their home.

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