Toasts At Weddings: Who Should Speak And When

Wedding toasts are a time-honoured tradition, dating back to the 6th century BC, and are often one of the most memorable parts of the reception. While the format and content of these speeches can vary, they typically involve words of love, encouragement, and humour shared by select friends and family members. Traditionally, the father of the bride (or groom, in same-sex weddings) speaks first, followed by the groom, best man, and maid of honour. However, modern weddings often feature brides, bridesmaids, and other close relatives as speakers as well. Regardless of who speaks, the key to a successful wedding toast is proper planning, with speakers given ample notice and a time limit of around 3-5 minutes to ensure the event runs smoothly and guests remain engaged.

Parents of the bride

Hello everyone, my name is [insert name], and I am the proud mother/father of the bride. I want to start by welcoming you all and thanking you for being here today to celebrate my daughter's marriage to [partner's name]. I also want to welcome and thank my new in-laws, [in-laws' names], for joining us today and for their contributions to this special day.

Tribute to the Bride

My daughter has always been a source of joy and happiness in my life, and I am so proud of the person she has become. From a young age, she has shown determination, kindness, and a unique sense of humour. I want to share a quick story from her childhood that showcases her adventurous spirit. When she was nine years old, she decided to plan her wedding, and I will never forget walking in on her playing vicar with her sister, dressed up in my red lipstick and heels!

Tribute to the Couple

Now, I want to talk about the couple. [Partner's name], you are an amazing addition to our family, and we are so grateful to have you in our lives. I remember the first time I met you [share a story about the first time you met the partner], and I knew immediately that you were the one for my daughter. Your love and support for each other are evident, and I wish you both a lifetime of happiness and love.

Advice for the Couple

As a parent, I want to offer a few words of wisdom to the newlyweds. Remember to always communicate openly and honestly with each other, and never go to bed angry. Life is short, so cherish every moment and live life to the fullest.

Toast

Please join me in raising a glass to the beautiful couple. Here's to a lifetime of love, health, and happiness!

Parents of the groom

Traditionally, the father of the groom doesn't give a speech at a wedding, but there are plenty of reasons why this custom is changing. For example, if it's an LGBTQ+ wedding, both fathers of the grooms may be asked to give a speech, or they may share the responsibility and do one together. Alternatively, the parents on the other side may not feel confident about public speaking, so the father of the groom may be asked to step in. Or, the groom may simply want to hear from his dad on his wedding day.

If you've been asked to give a speech as the father of the groom, here are some tips and suggestions to help you craft your message:

Structure of the Speech

• Thank the father of the bride (if there is one before you) and introduce yourself.
• Thank the guests for coming.
• Talk about the groom and share anecdotes, memories, and stories. You can include childhood stories, family memories, and funny moments.
• Talk about the groom's partner, share how and when they first met, and express your happiness for your son.
• Welcome the partner into the family and offer advice to the couple.
• Raise a toast to the newlyweds.

Additional Considerations

• If there is another parent giving a speech, it is recommended to liaise with them beforehand to ensure your speeches don't overlap too much.
• If there is no father of the bride speech, you can take on the responsibilities of welcoming the guests and thanking them for coming.
• If there are two fathers of the groom, keep the speech a bit shorter, around four to six minutes.
• If the wedding planning and finances have been shared with the partner's family, you may wish to thank them for their contributions.

Sample Speech Outline

Ladies and Gentlemen, friends and family, welcome.

First of all, I want to express my gratitude for your presence today as we celebrate this momentous occasion with my [son] and his lovely bride [bride's name]. It is truly an honour to stand here as [son's name]'s father and to speak on behalf of our family.

[Son's name], you have always been the life of the party, and I am so proud of the man you have become. I recall the day you were born [insert a humorous or touching anecdote from your son's childhood], and now here you are, marrying the love of your life. [Bride's name], you have brought so much joy into [son's name]'s life, and for that, we are forever grateful.

I must admit that this is a rather emotional moment for me. It seems like only yesterday that [son's name] was a little boy, and now he's all grown up and getting married. Time truly does fly, so let's cherish these moments while we can.

[Share a story about your son's relationship with his bride or their journey to finding each other.]

[Son's name], [bride's name], I want you both to know that I am honoured to be a part of your lives, and I am thrilled that you have found each other. May your marriage be filled with love, laughter, and endless happiness.

To the newlyweds, I offer a toast to a lifetime of love, joy, and adventure. May you always remember the love and joy you feel today, and may it continue to grow stronger with each passing year.

Final Thoughts

Remember to keep your speech lighthearted and enjoyable, as it is a special day for your son and his spouse. Adding a touch of humour can lighten the mood, but be mindful of the audience and keep your jokes appropriate. Most importantly, let your emotions show and speak from the heart.

Maid of honour

Traditionally, the maid of honour is expected to give a speech at the wedding reception. This speech should be a blend of sweet and funny stories, focusing on the bride and her journey to this milestone. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you craft and deliver an incredible maid of honour speech:

Outline and Write

Begin by brainstorming and jotting down your favourite memories of the bride. Think about how you feel when you spend time with her and identify a simple gut reaction. Then, compare these feelings with specific memories and look for repeating patterns. This will help you identify a theme for your speech. Structure your speech by following this character arc:

• Where the bride began: Share a story about the bride from a younger era or the early days of your friendship.
• Where she was: Talk about a time of personal struggle or a difficult loss, or a period when the bride was destined for bigger things. If you can joke about this period, ensure it is done in good taste and that you are laughing with the bride, not at her.
• Where she is now: Include an anecdote about the bride's current life, focusing on her individual growth or the positive impact she has on those around her.

Delivery Tips

Once you have written your speech, it is essential to practice and refine your delivery. Here are some tips to help you deliver your speech with confidence:

• Organise your notes: Instead of memorising your speech, organise your notes on notecards. This will help you familiarise yourself with the rhythm and tone of your speech, and ensure that you don't lose your train of thought mid-sentence.
• Practice, practice, practice: Read your speech out loud multiple times to help you become extremely familiar with the words. Consider recording yourself and watching it back to track your eye contact, body language, and confidence.
• Be yourself: You don't need to be a comedian or a professional speaker. Be a fancy, polished, well-rehearsed version of yourself, and bring your unique personality to the speech.
• Manage your nerves: It is normal to feel nervous, but don't let it consume you. Take deep breaths, speak slowly and clearly, and remind yourself that the guests are excited to hear what you have to say.
• Don't forget to smile: A smile creates a positive vibe in the room and is infectious. It will also help the photographer capture stunning pictures of you during your speech.

Best man

The best man's speech is one of the most memorable parts of a wedding. It's a chance to send your friend the best wishes for their marriage, but it can be nerve-wracking to stand up in front of a crowd. Here's a guide to help you prepare and deliver a great best man's speech:

Planning the Speech

Before you start writing your speech, decide on a theme. This could be family anecdotes, humour, inspiration, morality, or sentimentality. Having a theme will give your speech a nice flow and ensure you stay on track.

Next, you'll want to plan out the structure of your speech. A good best man's speech should have the following components:

• Introduction: Start with a funny, complimentary, or inspirational one-liner to capture the audience's attention. You can also congratulate the groom for choosing you as the best man or make a joke about how he had to settle for you.
• Compliment the Wedding: Show your respect for the guests by highlighting something you like about the wedding, such as the venue, food, or music.
• Express Gratitude: Thank those who made the wedding possible, including the couple for inviting you.
• Tell a Story: Share a short story about your relationship with the groom. It could be about how you met, a funny experience, or an appropriate story from your college days.
• Admire the Couple: Express your support for their marriage and list a few things you admire about their bond.
• Summarise Your Thoughts: Recap your key ideas before wrapping up your speech.
• Toast to the Future: Raise your glass and make a toast to the couple's love and future.

Writing the Speech

When writing your speech, keep it positive, respectful, and congratulatory. Focus on the groom and his bride, without making it too much about yourself. Here are some additional tips:

• Keep the speech between 3 to 5 minutes.
• Avoid winging it—always plan and write your speech in advance.
• Open with a catchy one-liner or joke, but avoid a dull or droning tone.
• Include a short story about the groom, but don't make it about you.
• Use family-friendly humour and avoid risky or inappropriate topics.
• Compliment the bride and the groom.
• Rehearse your speech several times before the wedding, either in front of a mirror or to a trusted friend.

Delivering the Speech

Public speaking isn't just about what you say but also how you carry yourself. Here are some body language tips to help you deliver your speech with confidence:

• Smile and show open palms to signal friendliness and make the audience feel comfortable.
• Stand up straight to project confidence.
• Make eye contact with different audience members, especially the bride, groom, and wedding party.
• Genuinely smile throughout your speech—don't forget to smile due to nervousness or over-focusing on delivery.
• Use hand gestures while you talk to show comfort and confidence.

Couple

The Couple's Toast

The couple's toast is a chance for the newlyweds to thank their guests for celebrating with them. It is usually given right after the maid of honour and best man's speeches, or when the couple gets up to cut the cake. It can also be done once the couple has gotten up to kickstart the reception meal.

The couple's toast is also an opportunity to thank parents and the wedding party for their support. It is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to drop a love-bomb on the people you care about, so take advantage and do it with a smile.

The couple's toast can be given at different times during the wedding celebrations. Some couples choose to give a brief toast during the cocktail hour, while others wait until after the first course or dessert has been served. Giving the toast during the cocktail hour is a good option for nervous speakers, while waiting until after the meal means that guests are more settled and happy to listen.

The couple's toast should be short and sweet, lasting no more than three to five minutes. It is a chance to share a few words of thanks and well wishes with the guests before kicking off the reception meal or dance.

Sample Couple's Toasts

"We are so grateful to be surrounded by so much love today. Thank you all for being here to celebrate with us. We are so lucky to have such amazing family and friends, and we are truly touched by your outpouring of love and support. We couldn't have done it without you, and we are forever grateful. Cheers to love, laughter, and happily ever after!"

"We just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for being here today. It means so much to us that you were able to join us on this special day. We are so grateful for all of your love and support, and we are excited to celebrate with you. Cheers to love and new beginnings!"

"We are truly overwhelmed by the love and support we have received today. Thank you all for being a part of this celebration. We are so grateful to have you in our lives, and we couldn't have done it without you. Here's to love, laughter, and many happy years ahead!"

Frequently asked questions