George Boyle
Wedding speeches are a daunting task, and it's easy to feel the pressure of wanting to get it right. While there are many tips for writing a great wedding speech, there are also some pitfalls to avoid. It's important to remember that a wedding speech is about the couple, not about you, so leave your ukulele at home and don't make it a roast. Avoid inside jokes, stories about ex-partners, and anything that might embarrass the couple in front of their family. Keep it sincere, heartfelt, and focused on the couple's special day.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Forced jokes | Don't force jokes if you aren't comfortable writing them. Sincerity is appreciated at weddings. |
| Bachelor or bachelorette party jokes | Avoid these jokes as there will be a wide range of ages in the audience. |
| Over-polished speech | Be yourself and don't be too polished or performative. |
| Generic compliments | Be specific and give examples of why the person is incredible, devoted, or generous. |
| Ex-partners | Don't talk about the bride or groom's ex-partners. |
| Embarrassing stories | Avoid stories about the bride or groom being drunk or in trouble with the law. |
| Quotations | Avoid quotations and try not to cite too many sources. |
| Alcohol | Avoid drinking too much alcohol before your speech. |
| Reading from paper | Avoid reading your speech from a sheet of paper. Use note cards or print out your speech. |
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What You'll Learn
Don't force jokes if you're not comfortable writing them
If you're not comfortable writing jokes, don't force them. It can come across as awkward and insincere. Wedding speeches are heartfelt and sincere, so there is no shame in leaning into that. Everyone will be caught up in the sentimentality of the occasion, so a speech that doesn't try to be funny won't come across as cold.
When you write a wedding speech, it's important to be yourself and put your personality into it. This is a time to be authentic and focus on the couple. You can be funny, but know your audience and weave in subtle moments of humour. You don't need to be a polished performer with jazz hands. It's also a good idea to be specific. For example, instead of saying, "You are an incredible friend", give an example of how they were a great friend to you. This will make your speech more engaging and compelling.
If you're worried about your speech being funny enough, ask a friend to read it and give you their honest opinion. They might be able to spot something missing or something that doesn't work. You can also ask the couple about their relationship and significant moments to give you some inspiration. Just make sure to ask them about any boundaries and sensitive topics to avoid.
If you're nervous about public speaking, it's perfectly acceptable to bring notes with you. You can use notecards or print your speech out. Just make sure you're familiar with your script and have practised beforehand so you feel comfortable and confident.
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Avoid stories about ex-partners or illegal activities
Wedding speeches are often anxiety-inducing, as you want to delight the couple and appeal to a wide range of guests. It is important to remember that the speech is about the couple and not you. While you can be funny, it is crucial to know your audience. Avoid inside jokes, bachelor or bachelorette party jokes, and keep in mind that grandparents and colleagues may be in the audience.
When it comes to what not to say in a wedding speech, it is advisable to steer clear of stories about the bride or groom's ex-partners. Wedding speeches are meant to celebrate the newlyweds and their relationship, so bringing up past relationships can be inappropriate and uncomfortable for the couple and the guests. It is best to focus on positive and heartwarming stories about the couple and their journey together.
Similarly, it is important to refrain from sharing stories about any illegal activities or trouble with the law. Wedding speeches are meant to be light-hearted and celebratory, and mentioning illegal or unethical behaviour can reflect poorly on the speaker and the couple. It is better to stick to anecdotes that showcase the couple's bond and their unique qualities.
If you are unsure about what to include in your speech, it is always a good idea to reach out to the married couple and ask them about their boundaries and comfort levels. They may have specific requests or sensitive topics they want to avoid. By considering their preferences and keeping the focus on their relationship, you can create a meaningful and appropriate wedding speech.
Remember, the key to a successful wedding speech is authenticity and a sincere desire to honour the couple. By keeping the attention on them and avoiding stories about ex-partners or illegal activities, you can deliver a tasteful and memorable speech that celebrates their special day.
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Don't plagiarise or quote movies and books
Wedding speeches are a tough task. They are meant to be heartfelt and authentic, and it is important to remember that the speech is about the couple, not you. It is also important to be sincere and to focus on sharing your personal perspective.
With that in mind, it is a good idea to avoid plagiarism and quoting movies or books. While it may be tempting to borrow a romantic line from a movie or book, it is much more meaningful to write something yourself. This is because a wedding speech is a unique, special moment in time that you won't get back. It is also a moment to share your perspective on the couple and your relationship with them. By writing something original, you can ensure that your speech is authentic and focused on the couple.
Additionally, quoting a movie or book can come across as insincere or impersonal. It is important to remember that a wedding speech is not a performance or a talent show. It is a chance to celebrate the couple and share your thoughts and feelings about them. By all means, be creative, but make sure that your speech is coming from a genuine place. If you are struggling to write something original, try thinking about specific anecdotes or stories that illustrate your relationship with the couple.
If you are still unsure about what to say, it can be helpful to reach out to the married couple and ask them about their relationship, how they feel about marriage, and any significant moments they want you to include or avoid. This can give you some inspiration and guidance as you write your speech. Just make sure to keep the focus on the couple and their special day.
Finally, remember that it is okay to bring notes with you when giving a wedding speech. You don't have to memorise your speech, and it's perfectly acceptable to refer to note cards or a printed-out speech. This can help you feel more comfortable and confident on the big day.
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Steer clear of inside jokes or stories about drunkenness
Wedding speeches are a tough task. You have the attention of dozens, if not hundreds, of guests, and you're trying to appeal to a wide range of ages and to friends and family of both sides of the couple. It's natural to feel anxious about public speaking, especially at a loved one's wedding.
If you're giving a wedding speech, it's important to be sincere and heartfelt. While it's fine to be funny, it's best to avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand. You want your speech to be inclusive and engaging for everyone.
Similarly, it's best to avoid stories about drunkenness or wild behaviour. This is especially true if the story involves the bride or groom, as you don't want to embarrass them or make their family uncomfortable. It's also a good idea to avoid mentioning ex-partners or any illegal activities.
Instead, focus on sharing anecdotes and stories that paint a picture of the couple and your relationship with them. This is a great way to add a personal touch and make your speech more engaging and memorable.
Remember, the key to a successful wedding speech is to make the couple feel special and to share your love and well wishes for them.
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Don't rely on alcohol to calm your nerves
Wedding speeches can be nerve-wracking, and it can be tempting to rely on alcohol to calm those nerves. However, this can be a recipe for disaster. Here's why you shouldn't depend on alcohol to get you through your wedding speech:
Impairs Your Judgment
Alcohol can impair your judgment and decision-making abilities. You might think that having a drink or two will help you relax, but it can actually make you more likely to say something inappropriate or offensive. It's important to remember that you're giving a speech at a formal and sentimental occasion. You don't want to say something that you wouldn't say when sober and regret it later.
Slurred Speech and Lack of Coordination
Excessive alcohol consumption can lead to slurred speech and a lack of coordination. You don't want to stumble over your words or, worse, drop your carefully crafted note cards. It's essential to be able to articulate your thoughts clearly and confidently when delivering a wedding speech. Alcohol can hinder your ability to do that.
Loss of Inhibitions
Alcohol can lower your inhibitions, which might make you more likely to share embarrassing stories or say something you wouldn't typically say in front of a crowd. Wedding speeches are meant to be heartfelt and sincere, and too much alcohol can lead to crossing boundaries and sharing stories that are better left untold. Remember, this is a special day for the couple, and you don't want to steal the spotlight for the wrong reasons.
Dehydration and Exhaustion
Alcohol is a diuretic, which means it can lead to dehydration. You don't want to feel parched or lightheaded halfway through your speech. Additionally, weddings can be exhausting, with all the emotions and festivities. Alcohol can exacerbate exhaustion and leave you feeling drained and less likely to deliver your speech with the energy and enthusiasm it deserves.
Alternative Ways to Calm Nerves
There are plenty of other ways to calm your nerves before giving a wedding speech. Practice your speech beforehand, familiarize yourself with it, and perhaps jot down some notes or cue cards to glance at during your speech. Focus on the couple and how you want the audience to feel. Take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that no one expects perfection. They want to hear your unique and authentic message.
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Frequently asked questions
The framework recommended for a wedding speech is: story, message, blessing. Tell a heartwarming story, convey the message or value behind that story, and then offer a blessing or wish for the couple.
No, you don't need to memorise your wedding speech. It's perfectly fine to bring notes with you or print out your speech. However, make sure you're familiar with your script and practice beforehand so you're comfortable and confident on the day.
Avoid inside jokes, stories about ex-partners, drunk episodes, or any embarrassing or illegal incidents. Steer clear of forced jokes and focus on sincerity and authenticity. Remember, this is a celebration of the couple, so keep the speech centred on them.
Avoid including too many quotes or references in your wedding speech. This isn't the place for flowery language or excessive citations. Keep the speech genuine and focused on your personal perspective and well-wishes for the couple.
It's best to refrain from excessive alcohol consumption before giving your wedding speech. While you may think it will calm your nerves, it's important to remain clear-headed and authentic in your delivery.
