Bridesmaids: Duties To Avoid And How To Delegate

Being a bridesmaid is an honour, but it's also a big responsibility. From financial costs to time commitments, there are many things to consider before agreeing to be a bridesmaid. While the role of a bridesmaid is ultimately to support the bride, it's important to be aware of the potential pitfalls and challenges that may arise. From planning pre-wedding events to providing emotional support, there are a lot of expectations and duties that come with being a bridesmaid. It's crucial to be aware of these responsibilities and to communicate honestly with the bride to ensure a smooth and positive experience for everyone involved.

Don't make the bride's bachelorette party R-rated if she's more of a PG kind of person

Planning a wedding can be a stressful time, and the role of a bridesmaid is to support the bride and ensure her big day goes smoothly. One of the pre-wedding events that bridesmaids are typically expected to plan and pay for is the bachelorette party. While this event is meant to be fun and a chance for the bride to let loose with her closest friends, it can become a source of anxiety and stress if not properly organised.

If the bride is more of a PG kind of person, it is important to respect her comfort level and plan an R-rated bachelorette party. Here are some tips to ensure the bachelorette party is tailored to the bride's preferences:

• Communicate with the bride: Ask her what type of celebration she envisions and what activities she would be comfortable with. It is important to respect her wishes and create an environment where she feels safe and celebrated.
• Choose appropriate activities: Opt for activities that align with the bride's interests and personality. For example, if she enjoys nature, plan a scenic hike or a picnic in a park. If she's into games, organise a game night or a friendly scavenger hunt.
• Consider the guest list carefully: Invite individuals who share the bride's values and comfort level. This will help create a harmonious and inclusive atmosphere.
• Be mindful of the location: Select a venue that suits the tone of the event. A chic restaurant or a cosy Airbnb can be great options for a more low-key gathering.
• Offer alternative options: If there are bridesmaids or guests who don't drink, provide non-alcoholic beverage options and activities that everyone can enjoy. This ensures that everyone feels included and respected.
• Keep it light and positive: The bachelorette party should be a joyful occasion, so focus on creating a relaxed and stress-free environment. Avoid any activities or conversations that might make the bride or other guests uncomfortable.

Remember, the key is to tailor the event to the bride's personality and preferences. By prioritising her comfort and enjoyment, you can create a memorable and special bachelorette party that she will cherish.

Don't wear uncomfortable shoes

Bridesmaids should not be made to wear uncomfortable shoes. While it is common for bridesmaids to be asked to wear matching dresses, it is not necessary for their shoes to match too. In fact, it is often considered a fashion faux pas for bridesmaids to wear identical shoes.

Bridesmaids are usually expected to pay for their own attire, including their shoes, so it is unreasonable to expect them to purchase a pair of shoes that they may never wear again. It is also worth noting that uncomfortable shoes can cause blisters and make it difficult to stand for long periods, which is likely to be required on the wedding day.

Instead of insisting on matching shoes, the bride can provide guidelines on the colour and style of shoe that she would like her bridesmaids to wear. For example, she could suggest a specific colour, such as nude or black, or a particular type of shoe, like block heels or sandals. This way, the bridesmaids can choose a pair of shoes that they feel comfortable in and that suits their personal style, while still maintaining a cohesive look for the wedding.

Ultimately, the most important thing is for the bride to be surrounded by her loved ones on her special day, and for everyone to be able to enjoy the celebration without being hindered by uncomfortable footwear.

Don't forget to use your strengths to help the bride

Being a bridesmaid is about more than just showing up on the wedding day. It's about supporting the bride and being there for her throughout the entire process, from planning to execution. Here are some ways you can use your strengths to help the bride:

• Offer emotional support: Wedding planning can be stressful, so be there for the bride as a shoulder to lean on. Check in with her regularly, ask what she needs, and provide a listening ear and words of encouragement.
• Assist with wedding planning tasks: While you're not expected to be a wedding coordinator, you can lend a hand with smaller tasks. This could include stuffing envelopes, organising RSVPs, helping with DIY projects, or accompanying the bride to appointments.
• Provide practical help: If you're good at crafts, writing, budgeting, or organising, offer to help in these areas. For example, you could help create decorations, write speeches, or manage the wedding budget or timeline.
• Be a sounding board: The bride will likely have a lot of ideas, worries, and decisions to make. Be a good listener and offer constructive feedback when needed. Remember to keep her confidences and be a source of positive energy.
• Offer to run errands: Take tasks off the bride's plate by offering to run errands or contact suppliers on her behalf. This could include picking up items, confirming bookings, or handling last-minute requests.
• Host pre-wedding events: Planning and hosting the hen party and bridal shower are typically the maid of honour's responsibility, but as a bridesmaid, you can offer to help organise and pay for these events.
• Attend pre-wedding events: Make an effort to attend all pre-wedding events, such as the engagement party, bridal shower, and bachelorette party. Your presence and support will mean a lot to the bride.
• Stay organised: Keep track of important dates, times, and details. Offer to send reminders to the bride and other members of the bridal party to ensure everyone is on the same page.
• Be flexible and adaptable: Wedding plans can change, and unexpected issues may arise. Stay calm, flexible, and patient, and be prepared to go with the flow to ensure the bride feels supported and celebrated.
• Keep the bride relaxed and calm: On the wedding day, help the bride stay relaxed and stress-free. Ensure she stays hydrated and has something to eat, and assist with any last-minute tasks or issues that come up.

Don't leave the wedding early

As a bridesmaid, you play a crucial role in supporting the bride and ensuring the wedding goes smoothly. Here are some reasons why leaving early could be a breach of your duties:

Emotional Support

One of the key roles of a bridesmaid is to provide emotional support to the bride. Wedding planning can be stressful, and the bride will rely on her bridesmaids to be there for her throughout the process. Leaving early could mean missing out on opportunities to check in with the bride, offer a listening ear, or help with any last-minute tasks or nerves before the ceremony.

Practical Support

Bridesmaids are also expected to lend practical support on the wedding day. This includes helping the bride get ready, answering any logistical questions, and assisting with things like serving snacks, directing guests, and facilitating their participation in activities like signing the guest book. Leaving early would mean you're not there to lend a hand when needed.

Participating in the Ceremony and Photos

As a bridesmaid, you are expected to participate in the wedding ceremony and be part of the photographs. These usually take place before, during, and right after the ceremony, so leaving early could mean missing out on these important moments. It's crucial to be there for the couple during these cherished memories.

Being There for the Couple

The wedding day is a big day not just for the couple but also for their families. By leaving early, you might be missing out on quality time with the newlyweds and their loved ones. This is a special time to celebrate and connect with the couple and their families, and your presence as a bridesmaid is an important part of that.

Maintaining a Stress-Free Send-Off

Bridesmaids are often tasked with helping to assemble any items that need to be transported out of the reception venue at the end of the night. This includes getting-ready gear, decor, the couple's wedding cards and gifts, and even the top tier of the wedding cake. Leaving early would mean shirking this responsibility and potentially adding to the couple's stress at the end of their big day.

In summary, leaving a wedding early as a bridesmaid could be considered a breach of your duties and may cause disappointment for the couple. It's important to remember that your role is crucial in supporting the bride and ensuring the wedding runs smoothly from start to finish.

Don't wear white to any pre-wedding events

Wearing white to a wedding is a definite no-go for guests, but what about pre-wedding events? While the bride may choose to wear white to her bridal shower, bachelorette party, or bridal luncheon, it's important to remember that, traditionally, the colour is reserved for the wedding day.

So, if you're a bridesmaid, should you avoid wearing white to pre-wedding events? Well, it's a little tricky. On the one hand, you don't want to upstage the bride or break any time-honoured traditions. At the same time, you also don't want to make the bride feel like she's being kept in a box by her bridal party.

To avoid any potential issues, it's probably best to steer clear of wearing white to any pre-wedding events as a bridesmaid. That way, you can ensure the bride feels special and unique on her big day and avoid any potential misunderstandings or hurt feelings. It's also worth noting that, as a bridesmaid, you may be expected to help plan and pay for some of these events, so it's essential to be respectful of the bride's wishes.

If you're unsure, it's always best to ask the bride directly and respect her decision, even if it means you can't wear that gorgeous white outfit you had your heart set on. Remember, being a bridesmaid is about supporting the bride and ensuring her happiness on her wedding day.

Frequently asked questions