Tasks For Your Bridesmaids: A Comprehensive Guide

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities. From providing emotional support to the bride and helping with wedding planning, to organising and participating in the big day itself, there's a lot for bridesmaids to do. While the specific duties may vary depending on the couple and their approach to wedding planning, here's an overview of some common jobs that bridesmaids can expect to take on.

Emotional support

Bridesmaids can also offer emotional support by attending dress appointments and helping the bride to choose her attire for the wedding weekend. If you're a close friend of the bride, she may value your opinion when it comes to picking out her dress, flowers, or other details.

In addition to providing emotional support to the bride, bridesmaids can also assist with pre-wedding events and planning. This may include planning and paying for the bridal shower and bachelorette party, as well as attending other pre-wedding activities such as engagement parties or couples' showers.

It's also important to be flexible and understanding if the bride is feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Offering a listening ear and helping to diffuse any pre-wedding tension can go a long way in providing emotional support to the bride.

Remember that each bride is different and may have distinct expectations for her bridesmaids. Honest and open communication is key to ensuring that you can provide the best possible emotional support to the bride throughout the wedding planning process.

Planning the hen party

Talk to the Bride

First, ask the bride if she wants the hen party to be a surprise or not. Even if it is a surprise, have a general conversation about the type of hen party she would like. Would she prefer a country retreat with spa treatments and a hot tub, or a few nights of partying in Ibiza? Also, ask her to create a guest list, including contact details and an attendance preference ranking. This will ensure that the date you choose works for her closest friends.

Create a Guest List

Ask the bride to provide a list of all the people she wants to invite to the hen party. This may include friends, family members, and colleagues. Consider whether the bride would like a "sten" do, a combined stag and hen party, especially if the couple shares the same group of friends. Think about dividing the party by guest type if some guests prefer a more relaxed activity like afternoon tea or a spa trip.

Choose a Date

Ask the bride for her preferred dates and circulate them among the guests using a Doodle date poll. This will help you find the most popular option. Be organised and strict with the deadline for responses. Once the date is set, send a calendar invite or create a WhatsApp group to communicate the details to the guests.

Work Out the Budget

Discuss the budget with the bride and guests. According to a survey by The Stag and Hen Experience, the average spend per person on a hen party in the UK in 2023 was a little over £200. However, this may vary depending on the group's financial situation. Be open and honest about money to avoid any complaints later on.

Choose the Destination

Consider whether the wedding is overseas when planning the hen party destination. It is generally considered impolite to ask guests to pay for flights to both the hen party and the wedding. Match your budget to the location – for example, Lisbon or Eastern European cities like Riga or Bratislava can be cheaper alternatives to popular destinations like Barcelona or Budapest. Choose a destination that is easy for most guests to get to, avoiding long travel times.

Book Accommodation

Accommodation can be a key part of the hen party experience. Decide whether you want a basic option like a Travelodge or something more luxurious with communal space and extras like a pool or hot tub. When booking, be aware that some hotels do not accept hen groups, so check before finalising your plans. Websites like Kate & Toms, The Big Domain, and Celebration Cottages offer a range of party houses for different budgets and destinations.

Choose and Book Activities

Now it's time to plan the fun stuff! Choose activities that match the bride's interests. For an active bride, consider assault courses, water sports, or zip-lining. For a pampering experience, book a spa day or mobile pamper party. Creative options include cupcake making, floristry, life drawing, or lingerie-making classes. For a unique twist, look into unusual activities like themed escape rooms, sumo wrestling, murder mystery parties, or an inflatable sports day.

Sort the Games and Extras

In the weeks leading up to the hen party, finalise the details that will make it a memorable event. Include games, props, and outfits in the budget so that guests don't have to pay extra. Get creative with fancy dress costumes, t-shirts, or matching gear like personalised spa robes or flip flops. Organise hen party games like "How Well Do You Know the Bride?", "Guess the Gift", "Prosecco Pong", or "Never Have I Ever".

Communicate the Plans

Keep communication open and clear with the guests. Send a message or email with all the finalised details, including any last payments, things to bring, and travel information.

Enjoy the Hen Party!

Finally, it's time to celebrate! Reconfirm all the details with suppliers and accommodation before the event. Send the guests a final itinerary, pop open a bottle of prosecco, and get ready to give the bride an unforgettable send-off!

Wedding shopping

Before the Wedding

Bridesmaids should make themselves available for wedding dress shopping and fittings. This is a chance to lend support and help the bride choose her attire for the big day. It's also a good idea to be involved in bridesmaid dress shopping and fittings. This can include doing some legwork to find suitable dresses and keeping the bride's vision in mind.

Week of the Wedding

In the lead-up to the wedding, bridesmaids can help shop for and organise the wedding bathroom baskets. This is a practical way to support the couple and ensure they have everything they need. It's also important to attend any beauty appointments organised for the bridesmaids, so everyone is well-prepared and coordinated.

Wedding Morning

On the morning of the wedding, bridesmaids should ensure the hair and makeup team are running on time. They can also help the bride into her dress and assist with shoes and jewellery, ensuring she looks and feels her best.

Wedding Day

Throughout the wedding day, bridesmaids should be on hand to fix the bride's dress and veil, especially when she's posing for photos. They can also carry an emergency kit, including the bride's lipstick, and let her know if she needs touch-ups. Additionally, bridesmaids can help the bride with transportation, such as getting in and out of cars, and assist with any bathroom breaks.

Overall, wedding shopping is a key aspect of a bridesmaid's role, and it's important to be supportive, proactive, and positive throughout the process.

Wedding setup

Bridesmaids can be involved in the wedding setup in a number of ways. Here is a list of duties that bridesmaids can be expected to perform before the wedding:

• Planning and paying for the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
• Attending any other pre-wedding events, such as an engagement party or couples' shower.
• Booking travel and hotel reservations for the wedding weekend.
• Attending the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Providing emotional support to the bride.
• Helping with wedding planning tasks, such as stuffing envelopes, alphabetising escort cards, or easy DIY projects.
• Buying a wedding present.

On the day of the wedding, bridesmaids can help with the following:

• Getting ready with the bride, including answering any incoming texts or calls, ensuring she eats and stays hydrated, and keeping hair and makeup appointments on track.
• Providing snacks and drinks for the bridal party while they get ready.
• Directing guests to parking areas, bathrooms, and the bar or refreshment station.
• Participating in the ceremony by walking down the aisle and standing with the bride.
• Being photo-ready and mingling with guests.
• Helping the bride with her dress, shoes, jewellery, or veil throughout the day.
• Assisting the maid of honour with any tasks she may need help with.
• Maintaining a stress-free send-off by helping to assemble and transport items that need to be taken out of the reception venue, such as decorations, bouquets, and wedding gifts.

Paying for bridesmaid attire

There are many jobs that you can give to your bridesmaids, from planning the hen party to creating a WhatsApp group with the bride and all the bridesmaids. However, the focus here is on paying for bridesmaid attire.

Bridesmaids are typically expected to pay for their own dresses and accessories, but this is not a hard and fast rule. According to wedding etiquette experts, old-school rules regarding who pays for bridesmaids' dresses are no longer set in stone. It is now common for brides to pay for their bridesmaids' dresses, especially if they pick a more expensive option. However, this is still an exception to the norm, and bridesmaids should be prepared to cover the costs of their attire, hair, makeup, and transportation.

The cost of a bridesmaid's dress can range from $100 to upwards of $800, so it is essential to consider the financial situation of your bridal party when choosing dresses. If a bridesmaid is unable to afford the dress, it is recommended that the couple steps in to help cover the cost or work out a payment plan with the store. Alternatively, opting for mismatched dresses can open up more affordable options, and the bridesmaid may be able to choose a dress they already own.

It is important to be transparent about financial expectations from the beginning to avoid any misunderstandings or resentment. Bridesmaids should also be upfront about any monetary constraints, as it is normal and encouraged to be honest about what they can realistically afford.

Frequently asked questions