Deborah Chan
Wedding vows are promises exchanged between two people during their wedding ceremony. They are a public declaration of one's love and commitment to their partner. The vows are usually recited by the couple but may also be spoken by an officiant. While the oldest wedding vows can be traced back to ancient Egypt, the most popular modern trend is to begin with I promise, followed by to love, honour, and keep you, followed by personal promises. Couples may also choose to write their own vows, incorporating humour, stories, and inside jokes.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Type of content | Humorous, lighthearted, serious, personal stories, quotes, jokes, anecdotes, inside jokes, promises |
| Tone | Simple, complicated, genuine, heartfelt, honest, off-the-cuff |
| Language | Love, loyalty, respect, commitment, support, gratitude, admiration, friendship, honour |
| Format | Spoken, written, handwritten |
| Length | Concise, meaningful, memorable |
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What You'll Learn
Wedding vow history
Wedding vows are promises that a couple makes to each other during their wedding ceremony. They are not a legal necessity for marriage, nor are they used in all cultures and religions. However, many couples choose to include them in their ceremonies for religious, sentimental, or cultural reasons.
The history of wedding vows is complex, with bits and pieces taken from different sources of inspiration to create the traditional idea of Western vows seen today. Wedding vows, like wedding ceremonies, vary significantly from culture to culture, religion to religion, and country to country.
History of Wedding Vows
The oldest traditional wedding vows can be traced back to the manuals of the medieval church in England. In 1549, the first Book of Common Prayer was published, containing various marriage vow examples that inspired the traditional phrases many couples use today. The Book of Common Prayer was written by Thomas Cranmer, Archbishop of Canterbury, during the reign of Edward VI. It served as a liturgical book for the churches of the Anglican Communion, outlining the "procedures" and prayers to be followed for various religious rituals and ceremonies. The Book of Common Prayer was based mainly on the Sarum Rite, a process followed for celebrating any kind of Christian public worship. The Sarum Rite was a manual of the diocese of Salisbury, with the first part of the vows given in Latin and the second part instructed to be said in the "mother tongue" of those present.
In the United States, Catholic wedding vows often take the following form:
> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
The priest will then bless the couple, saying:
> You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide. Amen.
Over time, the traditional wedding vows have been modified and changed, with some couples choosing to write their own vows instead of utilising their culture's traditional set. For example, on September 12, 1922, the Episcopal Church voted to remove the word "obey" from the bride's section of the wedding vows. Today, couples may choose to replace the clause "to love and to cherish" with "to love, cherish, and obey" during their ceremony.
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How to write your own
Wedding vows are promises that two people make to each other when they get married. They are deeply meaningful and are often made before God.
Writing your own wedding vows can be exciting but also daunting. Here are some tips to help you create vows that are meaningful and memorable:
Brainstorming and Outlining
Start by collecting your thoughts and intentions. This might involve writing down a "word salad" and then narrowing it down, or simply letting your ideas stew in your mind before writing anything down. Take breaks and come back to your ideas with fresh eyes.
Jot down specific moments, inside jokes, sweet moments, and other memories that you want to include. You can also include stories, popular jokes, book or movie quotes, or anecdotes.
Tone and Content
Discuss and agree with your partner ahead of time on the length, tone, and content of your vows. You might want to give your vows to a trusted person to compare and ensure they somewhat match.
Personal Touches and Humor
Add personal touches to make your vows truly your own. Reflect on shared moments and express your love sincerely. Inject humor with inside jokes or funny stories, but avoid anything that might be embarrassing or sensitive.
Making Promises
At their core, vows are promises you make to each other, so be sure to include these. You can use phrases like "I vow to," "I promise to, "I will," and "Together."
Promise to support your partner through good times and bad, in sickness and health. You can also mention specific ways you will show your love, such as always sharing your snacks with them or letting them have the last fry.
Voice Admiration
Now is the time to gush about your partner publicly. Don't forget to say "I love you" and express why you admire your partner and what they mean to you.
Traditional Elements
You may want to include traditional elements in your vows, such as:
> "I, [Name], take you, [Partner's Name], to be my lawfully wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
Remember, these are just suggestions and ideas to get you started. Feel free to customize and make your vows completely yours, reflecting the unique bond between you and your partner.
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Adding humour
Wedding vows are promises that a couple makes to each other during their wedding ceremony. They are a public declaration of one's love and commitment to their partner and can be simple or complicated, light-hearted or serious, traditional or personalised.
Be Yourself and Speak from the Heart
The key to adding humour to your wedding vows is to be yourself and speak from the heart. Share a story, an anecdote, or an inside joke that is genuine and meaningful to you as a couple. It's okay to be nervous, but try not to overthink it. Your vows should reflect your unique bond and be a true expression of your love and commitment.
Include a Joke or Two
Feel free to include a few jokes in your vows to lighten the mood and make your partner and guests smile. These can be popular jokes, inside jokes, or even book or movie quotes that hold a special meaning for you both. Just remember to strike a balance between humour and sincerity.
Personalise Your Vows
Customise your vows to make them truly your own. Add personal touches that showcase your partner's best qualities and why you love them. You can also include language that speaks to the future of your family unit, especially if you or your partner have children. By personalising your vows, you not only add humour but also make your vows more meaningful and memorable.
Keep it Light and Fun
Your wedding vows don't have to be all serious and sentimental. It's okay to have fun with them! Include promises that are playful and light-hearted, such as always sharing your snacks or never stealing the other person's side of the bed. These light-hearted vows can bring laughter and joy to your ceremony while still conveying your love and commitment.
Practice and Take Breaks
Writing and delivering humorous wedding vows can be challenging. Give yourself time to collect your thoughts and take breaks during the writing process. Practise reciting your vows beforehand to ensure that the humour lands well and flows naturally with the rest of your vows.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to wedding vows. The most important thing is to be true to yourself and your partner, and to add humour in a way that reflects your unique relationship.
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Including children
Wedding vows are promises that two people make to each other when they get married. They can be light-hearted or serious, and often include personal touches, such as stories, jokes, quotes, and expressions of love.
In addition to including children in the vows, it is important to involve them in the celebration after the ceremony. Children often feel left out when the adults crowd around the newlyweds, so taking a moment to hug them and thank them for their participation can make a big difference. Giving children a gift, such as a ring or necklace, is another way to make them feel special and included.
Overall, including children in wedding vows and ceremonies is a meaningful way to recognise and celebrate the formation of a new family unit, and it can be tailored to suit the unique dynamics and preferences of each family.
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Making them personal
Wedding vows are a serious, lifelong commitment made in front of many witnesses. They should be completely yours and suit you and your partner. The most meaningful vows are those that reflect the unique bond between you and your partner.
- Start writing your wedding vows at least three months before the wedding.
- Reflect on your relationship. Brainstorm memories and moments you have shared.
- Express your feelings sincerely.
- Add personal touches and stories.
- Inject humour.
- Make specific promises that can stand the test of time.
- Address your partner and briefly recap your love story.
- Describe what you admire about your partner and your relationship.
- Keep them concise for a meaningful and memorable ceremony.
- Make them heartfelt and honest.
- Practice your vows to ensure you capture the right tone and speed.
- "I, [Name], take you, [Partner's Name], to be my lawfully wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
- "I promise to laugh with you in times of joy and comfort you in times of sorrow. I will share in your dreams and support you as you strive to achieve your goals. I will listen and learn from you, and speak to you with encouragement."
- "I vow to always let you have the last fry and to never steal your side of the bed unless it's too cold on my side. I promise to love you even when you're hangry, and to always share my snacks with you."
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Frequently asked questions
Wedding vows are promises each partner in a couple makes to the other during a wedding ceremony. They are not universal to marriage and are not necessary in most legal jurisdictions.
Wedding vows can be simple or complicated, humorous or serious, traditional or personalised. They can include stories, anecdotes, jokes, and quotes. Ultimately, they are a way to express your deepest feelings and share your intentions and feelings with your partner.
There is no right way to write your wedding vows. Some people are great off-the-cuff, while others need to get their thoughts down on paper first and then arrange them. It can be helpful to reflect on shared moments, express your love sincerely, and add personal touches.
