Bridesmaids' Order: Who Walks Down The Aisle And When?

Deciding the order of bridesmaids can be a tricky part of wedding planning. The order of the bridal party can be influenced by the type of ceremony, family traditions, and the couple's personal preferences. While there is no right answer, it is important to consider the feelings of the bridesmaids and avoid hurt feelings. Some popular options for ordering bridesmaids include height, with the shortest closest to the altar, relationship to the couple, how long they have known the couple, and alphabetical order. Ultimately, the decision on how to order bridesmaids is up to the couple and what feels right for them.

Height

Ordering bridesmaids by height is a popular choice for several reasons. Firstly, it is an objective way of arranging the bridal party that avoids any potential hurt feelings. It is also aesthetically pleasing, especially if the flower girl or ring bearer is included in the lineup.

The order of height usually goes from shortest to tallest, with the shortest bridesmaid walking down the aisle first. However, the maid of honour and best man are typically exempt from this order and stand next to the bride and groom, regardless of their height.

If the maid of honour happens to be the tallest person in the bridal party, it can be convenient as they will be easy to spot and identify. Conversely, if the maid of honour is the shortest, they will be at the front of the lineup, again making them easy to identify.

While some sources suggest that the order of the bridal party is not indicative of importance, others disagree. One person commented that they overheard a bride saying that the bridesmaids were lined up in order of importance to her, and that this comment stung. Therefore, while ordering bridesmaids by height can be a safe option, it is important to consider the dynamics and feelings of the bridal party.

Relationship to the couple

Deciding the order of bridesmaids can be a tricky part of wedding planning. There is no right answer, but here are some options to consider when deciding based on the relationship to the couple:

Maid/Matron of Honour and Best Man

The maid/matron of honour and best man are usually considered the most important members of the bridal party, aside from the couple themselves. They are often the closest friends or family members of the bride and groom, and they have special roles and responsibilities throughout the wedding process. Therefore, they typically stand closest to the couple during the ceremony.

Siblings and Siblings-in-Law

After the maid/matron of honour and best man, it is common to include the bride and groom's siblings and siblings-in-law in the bridal party. They are usually given a place of honour, standing closer to the couple than other members of the bridal party.

Cousins

If the bride or groom has close relationships with their cousins, they may also be included in the bridal party. Their placement in the order can vary depending on the relationship and dynamics of the family.

Best Friends

Best friends are often included in the bridal party, especially if they are like family to the bride or groom. Their placement can vary depending on how many people are in the bridal party and the dynamics of the group.

Other Close Friends and Extended Family

The remaining spots in the bridal party can be filled with other close friends and extended family members. The couple may choose to organise this section of the bridal party based on how long they have known each person, with the oldest friends or relatives standing closer to them. Alternatively, they may arrange this group by height, with the shortest person standing closest to the couple, or in alphabetical order by first or last name.

Flower Girls and Ring Bearers

Flower girls and ring bearers are usually young children who are related to or close to the couple. They typically enter the ceremony just before the bride and may have a special role, such as scattering petals or carrying the wedding rings. They may stand with the bridal party during the ceremony or sit with their families.

A Note on Avoiding Hurt Feelings

While it is common to organise the bridal party based on the relationship to the couple, it is important to consider the potential for hurt feelings. Ranking loved ones based on closeness can be tricky, and it is natural for those placed further away from the couple to feel slighted. Alternative methods, such as organising by height or how long you have known each person, may be less likely to cause offence. Ultimately, the most important thing is that the bridal party feels honoured to be included, regardless of their specific placement in the order.

Length of friendship

Deciding the order of bridesmaids can be a tricky part of wedding planning. One option is to arrange them by the length of friendship, which is a fairly diplomatic way to avoid hurt feelings. This works especially well if your bridesmaids are from different stages of your life, such as elementary school, high school, college, and work. However, it may be less effective if you met all of your bridesmaids in the same year.

If you choose to go with this option, the person you have known the longest would stand closest to you, with the newest friend on the outer edge of the arrangement. The exceptions to this order are the maid of honour and best man, who traditionally stand directly next to the bride and groom, regardless of how long they have known them.

If you have a large or uneven wedding party, you can also get creative with the arrangement. For example, you could skip the traditional "his side, her side" setup and have your wedding party blend together around the altar, with bridesmaids and groomsmen on both sides. Alternatively, you could arrange lounge furniture around the altar instead of having your wedding party stand, adding a fun and unique twist to your ceremony.

Age

Deciding the order of bridesmaids can be tricky, especially if you want to avoid hurt feelings. One option is to arrange bridesmaids by age, with the oldest standing closest to the bride and the youngest on the outer edge of the group. This is a good way to avoid any suggestion of favouritism, as age is not something that can be negotiated.

However, it's worth noting that this approach may not be suitable for all wedding parties, especially if the bridesmaids are all of a similar age. In this case, it may be more appropriate to consider other ordering options, such as by height, relationship to the couple, or how long you've known each other. Ultimately, the decision is up to the couple, and there is no one "correct" way to order bridesmaids.

Alphabetical order

While your best friend or sibling will likely serve as your maid of honour or best man, the rest of the bridal party can be arranged in alphabetical order for the ceremony processional. This is a good option if you want to make sure you're not hurting anyone's feelings throughout the ceremony and beyond.

If you want to ensure that your honour attendants walk out last down the aisle, but stand closest to you, you can order your bridesmaids by ABC order, with the exception of your maid of honour and best man. The first people down the aisle will be those who will stand furthest away from you, with the last people walking down the aisle being those who will stand closest to you.

Of course, the order of your bridesmaids ultimately depends on what feels right to you.

Frequently asked questions