Rsvp Etiquette For Wedding Invites: A Guide For Guests

Wedding RSVPs can be a source of confusion for guests, and a headache for hosts. The French acronym RSVP stands for répondez, s'il vous plaît (please reply in English), but the small print can be tricky to navigate. The M on RSVP cards stands for the first letter of the guest's title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss), followed by their name. Guests should also indicate how many people from their household will be attending, and whether they have any dietary requirements. It's important to respond promptly, and if you can no longer attend, it's polite to let the host know as soon as possible.

RSVP card options: pre-printed, free-form, or none

When it comes to RSVPs, there are a few different options to choose from. Here are the details on pre-printed, free-form, and no RSVP cards:

Pre-Printed RSVP Cards

The most traditional style of RSVP card includes space for guests to write their names and the number of guests attending. Another variation of this style is when the hosts write in the guest names and how many guests they can bring, which is often done for families with children. A newer trend is to include "attending in person", "attending remotely", and "unable to attend" options on a single card, giving guests a choice in how they participate.

On these cards, guests should write their social title (Mrs./Mr./Ms./Mx.) and full name. If the envelope is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the response should state "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". If the envelope includes additional names (e.g., "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew"), then the response should include those names as well.

It is also important to use numbers instead of checkmarks to indicate the number of guests attending and regretfully declining. For example, instead of checkmarks, guests would write _2_ accept and _2_ regret if only two out of four invited guests are attending.

Free-Form RSVP Cards

This option includes a blank card, allowing guests to write a personal message. Couples may add a prompt at the top for guidance, such as requesting well wishes, song suggestions, or attendance confirmation. This style is considered more old-school but is still proper etiquette.

On these replies, guests should include their full names and the number of attendees in a sentence as if speaking directly to the host. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie, and Drew will attend. The four of us wish everyone the best and look forward to joining you in May."

No RSVP Card

Some wedding invitations do not include an RSVP card. Instead, they may include a details card with the wedding website, where guests can respond. Alternatively, the invitation may include an email address or phone number for responses.

If there is no specified method of response, guests should use their own stationery to reply. This approach was once considered garish, as it was assumed that sophisticated guests knew how to RSVP without a card. However, it is now rare for hosts to expect this.

Regardless of the RSVP method, it is important to respond promptly, preferably within a full weekend of receiving the invitation. It is also essential to include your name and the number of guests attending in your response.

How to address wedding RSVP envelopes

Wedding RSVP envelopes should be addressed in a way that is clear and easy for guests to understand. Here are some tips and guidelines on how to address wedding RSVP envelopes:

Include the Recipient's Name and Address

On the front of the RSVP envelope, be sure to include the name and address of the recipient, which is the person in charge of collecting and organising the responses. This could be the bride, groom, wedding planner, or a family member. Use proper courtesy titles such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss before the recipient's name(s). If the couple is hosting the event together, use both their first names only.

Pre-Print or Handwrite the Address

It is common to pre-print the recipient's address on the RSVP envelope to make it easier for guests to respond. However, if you prefer a more traditional approach, you can also handwrite the address.

Include Postage

As a courtesy to your guests, include postage on the RSVP envelopes. This ensures that guests don't have to pay for postage themselves, making it more likely that they will respond on time.

Address Guests Formally on the Invitation Envelope

When addressing guests on the invitation envelope, use proper courtesy titles such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss before their names. This is considered more formal and traditional.

Set a Clear Deadline

Give guests a clear deadline for responding, usually around four weeks before the wedding date. This will help you finalise details with your vendors and create an accurate guest list.

Provide a Spreadsheet for Tracking

To stay organised, create a spreadsheet that corresponds to the number on each RSVP card. This way, if a guest forgets to write their name or their handwriting is unclear, you can still identify who sent the response.

Break Traditions with Creative Wording

While traditional RSVP wording is acceptable, feel free to add a personal touch by changing the wording, adding different requests, or including fun questions related to your wedding theme.

Include Other Relevant Information

Consider adding other relevant information on the RSVP card, such as dress code, contact details, or your wedding website URL. This helps guests prepare for the wedding and provides an additional way to respond if needed.

RSVP deadline and response time

When it comes to wedding invites, it's important to set an RSVP deadline that is around three to four weeks before the wedding date. This gives the couple and their vendors enough time to finalise any last-minute details that depend on the total guest count, such as the amount of food and drinks needed and the seating plan.

The RSVP deadline should be clearly featured on the invite, often with wording such as "Kindly reply by [insert date]" or "Please respond by [insert date]". This is usually placed front and centre on the invite, and sometimes in larger text to ensure it's not missed by guests.

It's also a good idea to remind guests to RSVP about a week before the deadline, especially if you're expecting a high number of RSVPs to come in at the last minute. This can be done in person, over the phone, or online.

If you're concerned about guests missing the RSVP deadline, it's worth noting that it's common courtesy to respond to a wedding invitation as soon as possible. Wedding etiquette expert Heather Wiese Alexander recommends taking no longer than one full weekend to make plans and respond.

If you do miss the RSVP deadline, it's important to call the hosts as soon as possible so they can adjust their numbers accordingly. While it's not always possible to be accommodated, it's worth reaching out to the couple as soon as you realise your mistake.

In terms of response time, it's standard practice to send out wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to plan and RSVP before the deadline.

So, to summarise, the RSVP deadline should be around three to four weeks before the wedding, and the response time for guests is usually six to eight weeks.

RSVP card wording

RSVP cards are an important part of the wedding planning process, helping to finalise the guest list and ensure smooth preparations. The wording of your RSVP cards should match the style of your wedding invitations, whether they are traditional, formal, or informal. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft the perfect RSVP card wording:

Include Essential Information:

• A clear RSVP deadline: It is recommended to set the deadline one month before the wedding date to allow enough time for finalising details with vendors. For destination weddings, consider setting the deadline two months in advance.
• Blank line for guest names: On formal RSVP cards, include an "M" at the start of the line for guests to include their honorifics (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss). This guarantees you know who is attending and ensures correct spellings for the seating chart.
• Accept or decline options: Provide a clear way for guests to accept or decline the invitation, such as checkboxes, circling, or fill-in-the-blank lines.
• Dietary requirements and food preferences: If you are serving dinner, mention the meal type (buffet or plated) and provide options for guests to indicate their choices and any dietary restrictions.

Enhance with Additional Details:

• Special request line: Include a fun request line, such as song requests, drink preferences, or a favourite memory of the couple.
• Contact details and dress code: You can add your contact information, dress code, or a reminder of your wedding website URL.
• Space for notes: Encourage guests to share their excitement and any special accommodations or requests.

Examples of Formal RSVP Wording:

• "The favour of a response is requested by [date]."
• "Your reply is kindly requested before [date]."
• "Please RSVP no later than [date] ▢ will attend ▢ unable to attend."
• "Respectfully declines/Accepts with pleasure/Declines with regret."

Examples of Informal RSVP Wording:

• "Kindly reply before [date] ▢ Can't wait! ▢ Sorry, I wish I could be there!"
• "Let us know before [date] ▢ Can't wait to hit the dance floor ▢ Will be toasting from afar."
• "Will you be joining us? Reply before [date] ▢ Yes, you will see my/our face(s) ▢ Sorry, I'm/we're busy that day!"

RSVP card format: names, accept/decline, food preferences, special requests

When it comes to RSVPs for wedding invites, there are a few key components to include, and several ways to format the card. Here is a guide to the RSVP card format, focusing on names, accept/decline responses, food preferences, and special requests.

Names

On a formal RSVP card, it is customary to write an M at the start of the line where guests will write their names. This indicates that guests should include their proper honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name. This guarantees that you know who is attending and how to correctly spell their name on the seating chart. It is also important to include the names of any plus-ones, so that the hosts can get an accurate headcount and create name cards for all guests.

Accept/Decline

The primary purpose of an RSVP card is to learn who is coming to the wedding, so there should be an attendance line for guests to accept or decline the invitation. This could be formatted as checkboxes, circles, or fill-in-the-blank lines. It is important to set an RSVP deadline, usually around four weeks before the wedding date, to give the couple and vendors enough time to finalise details such as food and drink quantities.

Food Preferences

If dinner is being served at the wedding reception, it is helpful to collect guests' food preferences and any dietary requirements or allergies. If it is a plated dinner, use checkboxes or initials to indicate entree options. If it is a buffet, leave a fill-in-the-blank line for guests to detail any dietary restrictions.

Special Requests

You may also include a special request line on the RSVP cards. This could be for song requests, drink preferences to help stock the bar, or a favourite memory of the couple. This adds a fun element to the RSVP process and can be useful for planning.

Formatting

There are several ways to format the RSVP card. One option is to use a pre-printed response card, which includes space for guests to write their names, indicate the number of guests, and provide a short personal note. Another option is to include a blank card without a pre-printed response, allowing guests to write a longer personal message. This is more free-form and may include a prompt for well-wishes, song requests, or attendance information.

Whether you choose a pre-printed or blank card, it is important to include the essential information outlined above, as well as a clear deadline for responses. You may also add extra details such as contact information, dress code, or a wedding website URL.

Frequently asked questions