Wedding Invitation Etiquette: A Guide To Proper Edicate

Wedding invitation etiquette is a complex and often confusing topic. From the timing of sending out invites to the inclusion of registry information, there are many potential pitfalls for couples to navigate. The good news is that, with a bit of research, it is possible to avoid these common mistakes and ensure your invitations are both polite and effective. This guide will answer some of the most frequently asked questions about wedding invitation etiquette and offer tips for getting it right.

Timing: Send invites 6-8 weeks before the wedding, and ask for RSVPs 2-4 weeks out

Timing is a crucial aspect of wedding invitation etiquette. Sending out your invitations in a timely manner is essential to give your guests enough time to make arrangements and ensure they don't feel rushed. Here are some detailed guidelines on timing for your wedding invitations:

When to Send Invitations:

It is recommended to send out your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding date. This timeline is considered traditional and gives your guests ample time to clear their schedules and plan any necessary travel arrangements. However, if you haven't sent out save-the-date cards, you may want to send your invitations a bit earlier, around three months in advance. This is especially important if you're having a destination wedding or expecting many out-of-town guests, as it allows them to make travel plans without feeling rushed.

When to Set the RSVP Date:

When it comes to RSVPs, it's essential to strike a balance between giving your guests enough time to respond and ensuring they don't forget to get back to you. The recommended timeframe for RSVPs is to set the response date about two to four weeks before the wedding. This allows plenty of time for your guests to respond and for you to get a final headcount for your vendors, including the caterer. The RSVP date should be at least two weeks before your wedding, giving you enough time to finalise the details with your vendors.

Assembling and Mailing Invitations:

Assembling and mailing your invitations can be a time-consuming task, so it's crucial to plan and allow yourself enough time. Develop a system for addressing and mailing your invitations, and gather the names and addresses of everyone on your guest list in advance. It's also a good idea to ask for help from friends, family, or bridal attendants during this process.

Timing for Destination Weddings:

If you're having a destination wedding, the timing for sending invitations and setting the RSVP date may vary. It's recommended to send out invitations for a destination wedding about 12 weeks in advance to give your guests ample time to make travel arrangements and find affordable options.

Hosts: Include the names of the hosts, usually the couple and their parents

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to get them right. Here are some tips for including the hosts' names, usually the couple and their parents:

Firstly, it is important to know who is hosting the wedding. If the couple's parents are hosting, then their names should come first, followed by the couple's names. If one set of parents is hosting, use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by their names. If both sets of parents are hosting, list the bride's parents' names first, followed by the groom's parents' names.

If the couple is hosting with their parents, you can use something like "Together with their parents" or "Together with their families". This is also a good option if multiple people are contributing financially to the wedding.

When including names, it is important to use full names, including middle names for very formal weddings. For divorced parents, include the mother's name first, followed by the father's name on a separate line. Do not use "and" to connect their names.

If you are honouring a deceased parent, you can include this alongside the name of the couple. For example, "Lauren Martinez, daughter of Marta Martinez" or "Lauren Martinez, daughter of Robert Martinez and the late Marta Martinez".

It is also important to consider titles and spelling. Titles such as "Mr." and "Mrs." are not usually spelled out. Only spell out the title "Doctor" if the name is not too long to fit on one line.

Finally, if you are addressing invitation envelopes, spell out the guests' full names, including titles, first names, middle names, and last names. Avoid using nicknames or initials.

Guests: Address envelopes with guests' full names and the names of their plus-ones, if appropriate

When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to include the full names of your guests and their plus-ones, if appropriate. This means using appropriate titles and spelling names correctly. When in doubt, ask before addressing.

If your guests are married or in a serious relationship, it is customary to invite them as a couple. If you are inviting a couple but not their children, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs." followed by their names. If you are inviting someone with a guest, write "and Guest" on the envelope or include the name of their significant other if you know it.

For single guests, it is not necessary to provide a plus-one, especially if they will know other people at the event. However, if most of your guests will be coupled up, you may want to consider offering plus-ones to avoid any discomfort.

If you are inviting guests with partners but are unsure of their names, it is considered polite to ask your guests for their partner's full name. This shows that you value their relationship and want to include them in your celebrations.

It is also important to consider the format of the invitation. Formal wedding invitations typically include both an outer mailing envelope and an inner envelope. In this case, list the names of the invited guests on both envelopes. If using outer envelopes only, again, list the names of the invited guests, including their plus-ones if appropriate.

While it may be tempting to include "and Guest" on the invitation to allow flexibility, this can be seen as a faux pas. It is generally considered better to include the name of the plus-one if they are in a long-term relationship. This shows that you have made an effort to personalise the invitation and value their presence at your wedding.

In conclusion, when addressing wedding invitations, take the time to find out your guests' full names and the names of their plus-ones, if appropriate. This attention to detail will make your guests feel valued and excited to share your special day with you.

Information: Include the date, time, venue, and dress code

When it comes to wedding invitations, providing your guests with all the necessary information is key. This includes the date, time, venue, and dress code. Here are some tips to ensure your guests have all the details they need:

Date and Time:

It is important to give your guests ample notice of your wedding date. Save-the-date cards are typically sent out three to four months in advance, while wedding invitations should be sent six to eight weeks before the wedding. For destination weddings, it is advisable to give even more notice, with invitations sent out 12 weeks beforehand.

When indicating the time of your wedding, it is generally recommended to use phrases like "half after" instead of "half past" or "four-thirty." The phrases "in the afternoon" and "in the evening" are usually not necessary. For a formal invitation, the date should be written out in full, including the day of the week, the date, and the year. The day and month should be capitalised, while the year is not.

Venue:

The wedding invitation should include the full names of the couple getting married and the place and time of the ceremony. The street address of the venue is usually not needed unless its omission may cause confusion or if the wedding is at the host's home. The city and state should always be written out in full.

If the ceremony and reception are held in the same location, you may simply print "reception to follow" on the invitation. When the reception is at a different venue, it is customary to include this information on a separate line.

Dress Code:

The dress code is typically indicated in the lower right-hand corner of the invitation. However, if no explicit dress code is mentioned, the style and formality of the invitation itself will give guests an idea of what to wear. For example, a traditional invitation with letterpress and calligraphy hints at a formal event, while bright colours and playful fonts suggest a more casual affair.

If you prefer to provide more explicit dress code guidance, phrases like "black tie," "cocktail attire," or "dress casual" are all acceptable. This information can be included on the invitation itself or on a separate details card. Alternatively, you can direct guests to your wedding website, where you can provide more detailed information about the dress code and other event details.

In conclusion, by including clear and concise information about the date, time, venue, and dress code, you can ensure your guests have all the details they need to confidently attend your special day.

Gifts: Do not include registry information on the invite

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many rules of etiquette to follow. One of these rules is to refrain from including registry or gift information with the invitation. This is considered to be in poor taste and may give the impression that you are outright asking for gifts.

So, how do you let your guests know about your wedding wish list? Well, you could include your registry details on your wedding website. If you don't plan on setting up a personal website, you can include registry details on your wedding shower invitations or spread the news by word of mouth. Your parents, wedding party, and close friends will be able to fill in your guests without breaking traditional wedding invitation etiquette.

Another option is to create a cash fund or gift card registry. This way, you can ask for money instead of gifts without mentioning it on the invitation. Here are some ways to word your request:

> "Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself, but if you wish to give us something, we would greatly appreciate a contribution towards [insert cash fund here, and specify what it's going towards, e.g. our honeymoon]."

> "We're so lucky to already have everything we need to start our life together. But, if you wish to give a gift, we would be so grateful for a contribution to our [insert cash fund here]."

> "The best gift you could give us is your presence at our wedding. However, if you are inclined to give a gift, we would graciously accept a contribution to our [insert cash fund here]."

It's also important to note that including your wedding website URL and registry information on the main invitation card is not advised. Instead, you can include this information on an additional insert card within your invitation suite.

By following these guidelines, you can ensure that you're adhering to proper wedding invitation etiquette and providing your guests with the necessary information without being too forward or impolite.

Frequently asked questions