My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding": A Glimpse Into A Secretive Worl

My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding is a reality television series that debuted in 2012. It is a spin-off of Britain's Big Fat Gypsy Weddings and revolves around the marriage customs of Romani-Americans. The show has faced some criticism for its portrayal of the Romani Gypsy community, with some arguing that it perpetuates racist stereotypes and misrepresents the ethnic minority group. Despite the controversy, the show has had multiple seasons and spawned a spinoff series called Gypsy Sisters. The show offers an inside look at the superstitions, customs, and wedding celebrations of Gypsy communities across America.

Virgin brides and pre-marital sex

Virginity is a highly prized quality in young Romani-American women, as depicted in the TLC reality TV series, "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding". The show, which first aired in 2012, revolves around the marriage customs of Romani-Americans, allegedly members of Romanichal clans, though some are of Irish Traveller descent.

The series has sparked controversy, with Romani Gypsies criticising the show for its misrepresentation of their ethnic minority, with non-Romani characters posing as "Gypsy".

In Romani culture, virginity is highly valued, and pre-marital sex is forbidden. Teenage girls are expected to remain virgins until they marry, and their protective mothers closely watch their every move. The girls are dressed provocatively, but this does not indicate that they are allowed to kiss, talk, or flirt with boys. They are expected to remain chaste until marriage.

The show features several young brides, including Shyanne, a 17-year-old virgin who says, "Romany girls aren't supposed to know anything about that [sex] until after they're married." Her soon-to-be husband, 18-year-old Michael, reveals his thoughts on girls who engage in pre-marital sex: "I want something new. I don't want something used." Another young bride, Priscilla, is featured in the episode "14 and Looking for Mr. Right," where her family throws a big Halloween party, inviting all the eligible young gypsy bachelors, hoping to find her a suitable husband.

The Romani Gypsy community has strict rules regarding courtship and dating. Young women are not allowed to approach boys or be alone with them, and they are expected to remain virgins until marriage. This is seen as crucial to maintaining their reputation and honour within the community.

While the show has been criticised for its portrayal of Romani-Americans and Irish Travellers, it has also sparked conversations about the community's traditions and values, particularly regarding women and their roles in Romani society.

Teenage marriage

In one notable episode, 14-year-old Priscilla, a Romanichal gypsy, is depicted as a "fully trained gypsy wife" who is readying herself for marriage. Priscilla's mother, Louann, expresses her belief in traditional gender roles within gypsy culture, stating that women are expected to stay home, clean, and take care of their husbands. Priscilla herself seems to embrace these expectations, saying that she enjoys cleaning and feels "empty" if she doesn't.

The show also explores the role of the father in arranging marriages for their daughters. Priscilla's father, Pat Baby, hosts a Halloween party and invites all the eligible young gypsy bachelors in the hopes of finding a suitable match for his daughter. This episode sparked particular interest and controversy, as Priscilla is well below the legal age of marriage in her home state of Georgia, which is 16.

The portrayal of teenage marriage in 'My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding' has been criticised by some members of the Romani Gypsy community, who argue that the show misrepresents their culture and cultivates racist stereotypes. Despite this, the show has gained popularity and led to several spin-offs, including 'Gypsy Sisters'.

Romani-American clans

The Romani people, also known as the Roma, are an ethnic group of Indo-Aryan origin with nomadic, itinerant lifestyles. They are often referred to by the exonym "Gypsies", which most Roma consider a racial slur. The term "Romani-American clans" refers to the Romani communities that have settled in various parts of the United States.

The Romani-American clans maintain their cultural identity and traditions despite facing discrimination and being considered "hidden Americans" due to their ethnic ambiguity. They value extended family structures and have distinct social structures, such as the "familia" or clan, which can include 20 to 200 members related by blood or marriage.

The Romani language, with roots in Sanskrit and influenced by Balkan and Greek languages, is widely spoken among the clans and has helped preserve their cultural identity. However, differences in dialects and religious practices between various Romani subgroups in the United States have led to limited social interaction between them.

The Romani-American clans have diverse economic activities, including used car sales, fortune-telling, roofing, and blacktop driveways. They also have a presence in politics and activism, with representatives serving on official delegations and advocating for the rights and inclusion of Romani people in the United States and worldwide.

While some Romani-American clans have assimilated into broader American society, they continue to face challenges such as discrimination, negative stereotyping, and marginalization. Despite these obstacles, they strive to preserve their unique cultural heritage and way of life.

Marriage customs

My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding is an American reality TV series that revolves around the marriage customs of Romani-Americans ("Gypsies"). The show claims that the featured families are members of Romanichal clans, although some are actually of Irish Traveller descent. The series has been criticised by the Romani Gypsy community for misrepresenting the ethnic minority with non-Romani characters posing as "Gypsy".

When gypsies get engaged, the celebrations are intense. Weddings are known for being over-the-top, with dresses that can cost up to $50,000, giant celebrations, and horse-drawn carriages. One episode features a Greek bride-to-be who wears the biggest, most blinged-out wedding dress ever made. Another episode features a couple who eloped as teenagers and, 14 years later, the husband gives his wife the biggest wedding dress in West Virginia to make her an honest gypsy housewife.

In Romani-American culture, it is important to marry within the gypsy bloodline. One episode features two best friends planning their double wedding, but one mother-in-law tries to stop her son from marrying outside the gypsy bloodline. In another episode, a Romanichal man plans to marry his gorger fiancée, but a jealous ex-lover tries to prevent the union.

Irish Traveller heritage

My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding is an American reality TV series that revolves around the marriage customs of Romani-Americans ("Gypsies"), including members of Romanichal clans and some of Irish Traveller descent. The show has faced criticism from the Romani Gypsy community for its alleged misrepresentation of ethnic minorities, with non-Romani characters posing as "Gypsy".

Irish Travellers, an indigenous ethno-cultural group originating in Ireland, have historically been a nomadic people, living on the margins of mainstream Irish society. They are predominantly English-speaking, with many also speaking Shelta, a language of mixed English and Irish origin. While they are often referred to as "Gypsies", Irish Travellers are not genetically related to the Romani people. Genetic analysis has revealed that Irish Travellers are of Irish extraction, diverging from the settled Irish population in the 1600s, likely during the Cromwellian conquest of Ireland.

Irish Travellers have a distinct culture, with deeply rooted gender roles and an itinerant lifestyle. They have their own language, Shelta, which is a combination of English and Irish grammar. They also have a unique approach to religion, with the majority being practising Roman Catholics and paying particular attention to issues of healing. Marriage among teenagers is common, and they generally marry within their own community.

Irish Travellers have faced widespread discrimination and stereotyping, often being viewed negatively by settled people as insular, anti-social, or involved in criminal behaviour. They have experienced discrimination in education, employment, and access to services. Efforts have been made to incorporate them into mainstream culture through government housing and school attendance initiatives, but they continue to face challenges and prejudice.

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