The Best Man's Guide: Duties And Traditions

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to confidante throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day. The role is typically given to a groom's brother, close relative, or best friend, but there are no set rules. The best man's duties include planning the bachelor party, coordinating the groomsmen's attire, delivering a speech at the reception, and keeping the wedding rings safe on the day. The best man may also be asked to act as a witness and sign the marriage certificate.

Help choose the suits

As the best man, one of your main duties is suit shopping. Here are some tips to help you with this task:

Discuss Ideas with the Couple

Firstly, it's a good idea to talk to the couple about their preferences and style choices. This will give you a better understanding of their vision for the groomsmen's attire and help you make more informed decisions when shopping for suits.

Decide on Buying or Hiring

Traditionally, the couple pays for the wedding suits or their hire. However, if financial contributions from the wedding party are required, it's important to discuss this openly and upfront with everyone involved. This ensures that everyone is aware of the expectations and can plan accordingly.

Round Up the Wedding Party

As the best man, you will need to assist the groom in gathering the ushers and other important members of the wedding party for suit fittings. It is your responsibility to ensure that everyone is included and on the same page regarding their attire.

Coordinate with the Maid of Honour

Although not an official duty, communicating with the maid of honour can be beneficial. You can discuss ideas and coordinate efforts to enhance the overall wedding experience. For example, you might want to consider providing large umbrellas in case of bad weather or organising special on-the-day wedding gifts for the couple.

Be Mindful of Alterations and Final Fittings

As the wedding day approaches, the happy couple may become busier with other preparations. As the best man, you can step in and keep an eye on any last-minute suit alterations or final fittings for the groom and groomsmen. This ensures that everyone looks their best on the big day.

Return and Clean Suits After the Wedding

One of your post-wedding duties may include rounding up and returning any hired suits or ensuring that purchased suits are taken care of and dry-cleaned promptly. This helps the couple avoid late return fees and keeps their wedding attire in good condition.

Plan the bachelor party

Planning a bachelor party is one of the best man's most important duties. It's the best man's responsibility to organize the groom's last big night out before he gets married. Here are some tips to help you plan an unforgettable bachelor party:

Consult with the Groom:

Before you start planning, talk to the groom about his preferences. Does he want to travel or stay local? Does he prefer a wild party or a more low-key gathering? Understanding his vision will help guide your planning.

Collaborate with the Groomsmen:

Enlist the support of the other groomsmen to make the planning process more manageable. They can provide valuable insights and help with logistics and recommendations.

Consider the Group's Budget:

Be mindful of everyone's financial situation when planning the bachelor party. A lavish destination might sound appealing, but if some groomsmen can't afford it, consider a more affordable option to ensure everyone can participate.

Pick Convenient Dates:

When choosing potential dates for the bachelor party, consider the availability of the groomsmen. Pick two or three dates that work for the majority of the group to maximize attendance.

Plan Activities:

The bachelor party can include a variety of activities tailored to the groom's interests. This could be a whiskey distillery tour, a golf outing, a night out at a club, or any other activities the groom enjoys.

Handle the Logistics:

As the best man, you'll be in charge of organizing accommodations, transportation, and any other necessary arrangements for the bachelor party. Make sure to book in advance to secure the best options.

Keep the Groom's Preferences in Mind:

Remember, the bachelor party is about celebrating the groom. While it's important to make it enjoyable for everyone, prioritize the groom's interests and comfort level when making decisions.

Manage the Costs:

The cost of the bachelor party is typically split evenly among the attendees, excluding the groom. As the best man, you can help manage the budget and ensure everyone contributes their fair share.

Remember to maintain open communication with the groom and the groomsmen throughout the planning process. By following these steps, you'll be well on your way to creating a memorable bachelor party that the groom and his friends will cherish.

Be the groom's right-hand man

Being the groom's right-hand man is one of the most important duties of a best man. This involves being the groom's go-to person and confidant throughout the engagement and wedding planning process. The best man is also in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and coordinating their activities and duties.

The best man is responsible for providing emotional support to the groom, helping them make decisions and solve problems, and reassuring them that everything will be okay. This may also include being a sounding board for any nerves or wedding anxiety the groom is experiencing.

On the wedding day, the best man is the groom's personal aide and adviser, helping the groom get ready, delivering a letter to the bride, serving as a point of contact for vendors, and ensuring the groom eats and drinks. The best man may also hold the groom's phone and help calm any pre-wedding jitters.

In addition to being the groom's right-hand man, the best man has several other responsibilities before, during, and after the wedding, including planning the bachelor party, coordinating the groomsmen's attire, delivering a speech, and more.

Hold the wedding rings

Holding the wedding rings is one of the most important duties of the best man. Here are some tips to ensure you ace this responsibility:

Before the Wedding

Make sure you have a safe place to keep the rings, such as an inner jacket pocket, and triple-check that your pockets don't have holes! If there is a ring bearer, you will fasten the rings to the pillow as you line up for the processional. When the ring bearer reaches the end of the aisle, they will pass the rings back to you for safekeeping until the officiant requests them for the ring exchange.

During the Wedding

Be aware of where the rings are at all times and keep them safe. If there is no ring bearer, you may be responsible for holding the rings throughout the ceremony until the couple is ready to exchange their vows.

After the Wedding

Once the rings have been exchanged, your responsibility for holding the rings is complete. However, you may be asked to help with certain tasks after the wedding, such as making sure the groom's clothing and any rented tuxes are returned and that all wedding-related expenses are handled.

Give a best man speech

The best man's speech is one of the most important duties of the best man, if not the most important. Here are some tips on how to give a great best man speech:

Preparation

First, you'll want to prepare your speech well in advance. Don't leave it until the last minute! You'll want to give yourself plenty of time to write and practice your speech. Start by jotting down some ideas and the key points you want to make. It's a good idea to include a mix of humour and sincerity in your speech. You can share a funny anecdote about the groom, but also talk about what a great friend he is and how happy you are for him. If you're nervous about speaking in front of a crowd, practising your speech beforehand will help you feel more confident on the day.

Keep it Appropriate

While it's good to include some cheeky stories or jokes, remember that there will be older relatives in the audience, so avoid anything too risque or embarrassing. It's a good idea to run your speech past someone you trust to make sure it's appropriate and that you've got the tone right.

Timing

Traditionally, the best man's speech comes after the father of the bride and/or the groom's speech and before the maid of honour. It's usually given during the reception, but sometimes the best man may be asked to give their speech during the rehearsal dinner. Speeches traditionally take place after the meal, but it's becoming more common to have them before so that the speakers can relax and enjoy their food afterwards. Make sure you're aware of the timing the couple has decided.

Delivery

When giving your speech, speak slowly and clearly, and pause for any laughter. Make sure you mention everyone who needs to be mentioned, including the happy couple, the bridesmaids, and the bride and groom's parents. If you have any messages to read out, do this at the same time as your speech.

After Your Speech

Once you've given your speech, your official duties are over, and you're free to enjoy the rest of the reception. However, as an important member of the wedding party, it's your job to ensure that guests are okay and behaving appropriately. Get the party started by being one of the first people on the dance floor and encouraging others to join you.

Frequently asked questions