Junior Rasmussen
Wedding toasts are a traditional part of a wedding celebration where guests and the newlyweds give speeches to honour the couple. Wedding toasts are usually lighthearted and focus on the couple's bond, with speakers offering anecdotes, emotional connections, and well-wishes for the future. The father of the bride, the groom, the best man, and the maid of honour typically give toasts, but other family members and friends may also share a few words. Wedding toasts should be brief, with a recommended length of under five minutes, to keep the reception lively and engaging for the guests.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Length | 1-3 minutes, 7-8 minutes, or under 5 minutes |
| Content | Poignant or light stories about the couple's bond, jokes, quotes, wishes for the future |
| Who | Father of the bride, groom, best man, maid of honour, mother of the bride and groom, other family members or friends |
| When | At the wedding reception, or at the rehearsal dinner |
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What You'll Learn
Who gives a wedding toast?
Wedding toasts are an opportunity for friends and family to share their sentiments with the happy couple. While some people are naturals at giving toasts, others may need a little help. To keep the mood upbeat and the champagne flowing, it's important to plan the toasts and who will give them.
Traditionally, the first toast is made by the host—usually the parents of the couple, or the father of the bride—and combines a toast to the couple with a welcome message to the guests. This is followed by a "return toast" from the father of the groom. Then, it's open season, with toasts from the mothers of the couple, the best man, maid/matron of honour, other wedding attendants, family, and close friends. The couple may also give a toast to their families and each other.
In modern times, it's becoming more common for the couple to give a speech at the rehearsal dinner, expressing their thanks and anticipation. It's also not uncommon for the couple to give a joint "thank you for coming" toast at the wedding itself, before the best man and maid of honour give their speeches.
Ultimately, the decision about who gives a wedding toast is a personal one and can be adjusted to fit individual preferences.
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How long should a wedding toast be?
A wedding toast is a speech given by a select few individuals at a wedding reception. Traditionally, the father of the bride, the maid of honour, the best man, and the couple give toasts. However, other family members or friends may also want to share a few words, and they can do so at the rehearsal dinner or another pre-wedding event.
Now, onto the main question: how long should a wedding toast be? Well, the ideal length of a wedding toast is between three to five minutes. This allows for a meaningful yet concise speech that holds the audience's attention. Akeshi Akinseye, the founder of Kesh Events, a Chicago-based wedding planning company, recommends limiting the number of toasts to no more than four or five. This ensures the toasts remain special without overwhelming the guests.
It's important to keep in mind that the length of a wedding toast can depend on various factors, such as the size of the wedding and the couple's preferences. For example, some couples may prefer shorter toasts of around two minutes, especially if they have several speeches in a row. On the other hand, a smaller, more intimate wedding may allow for longer toasts.
Regardless of the length, a great wedding toast should be sincere, humorous, and heartfelt. It should focus on the couple's journey, their bond, and offer meaningful wishes for their future together.
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What should you say in a wedding toast?
Wedding toasts can be stressful, especially if you are giving one for the first time. However, there are some tips and tricks to help you deliver a great wedding toast.
Firstly, it is important to keep the toast meaningful but not too long. A good wedding toast should last between three to seven minutes. Anything shorter may feel incomplete, and anything longer risks losing the audience's attention.
Secondly, it is important to focus on the couple and their journey together. Share a poignant or light story about their bond and how you knew they were right for one another. Directly addressing both partners, regardless of who you are closest with, shows that you are celebrating both parties as they step into this new phase of life. You should also thank everyone for attending and thank the groom's parents for their help in organising the wedding, if applicable.
Thirdly, it is important to keep things light and positive. You can include a few funny anecdotes, but the toast should not become a performance or a ramble. A great way to end your speech is with a short one-liner or a quote. You could also include a rhyme or a poem.
Finally, it is important to be sincere and heartfelt. This is a special moment for the couple, and your toast should be a reflection of that.
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What are some examples of a good wedding toast?
A wedding toast is typically given by the father of the bride, the best man, the maid of honour, and sometimes the couple themselves. It is a way to honour the couple and wish them a happy future together. The toast is usually given at the wedding reception and is the final part of the wedding speech, where the speaker asks everyone to raise their glasses and drink to the happiness and well-being of the newlyweds.
- "A toast: may all sweethearts become married couples, and may all married couples remain sweethearts."
- "May you live as long as you like, and have all you like for as long as you live."
- "The man or woman you truly love will never grow old to you. Through the wrinkles of time, through the bowed frame of years, you will always see the dear face and feel the warm heart union of your eternal love."
- "Raise your glasses to both [daughter's partner] and me as we've each gained something on this fine and blessed day. S/he gains a wife and a companion for life – while I gain a whole new stack of bills to pay."
- "To the two secrets of a long-lasting happy marriage: here's to a good sense of humour and a short memory!"
- "Before we raise a glass to the newlyweds, I'd like to share a Pauline Thomason quote with you: 'Love is blind – marriage is the eye-opener.' To the happy couple!"
- "In the words of Samuel Johnson, 'Here's to a second marriage – the triumph of hope over experience.'"
- "Wedlock is like wine, not properly judged until the second glass."
A good wedding toast is typically short, sincere, humorous, and concise. It should focus on the couple's bond and can include light or poignant stories about their relationship. It is important to directly address both partners to show that you are celebrating this new phase of their lives.
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What are some examples of things to avoid in a wedding toast?
A wedding toast is a speech given at a wedding reception to honour the newlyweds. It is usually delivered by the father of the bride, the maid of honour, the best man, and the couple themselves. Other family members or friends may also give a speech, but this is typically done at the rehearsal dinner or another pre-wedding event.
- Cursing or using inappropriate language. While it may be tempting to let loose with some colourful language, especially after a few drinks, it is important to remember that a wedding toast is a formal occasion with guests of all ages present. Cursing can come across as disrespectful and offensive to some people.
- Making the toast all about yourself. While it is natural to feel honoured and privileged to be giving a wedding toast, avoid making it a self-congratulatory speech. The focus should be on the couple and celebrating their love and future together.
- Telling inside jokes or embarrassing stories. While it is good to add a personal touch to your speech, avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand. Similarly, steer clear of sharing super awkward or embarrassing stories about the couple, especially if they are likely to cause hurt feelings or make the audience uncomfortable.
- Monopolising the microphone. Keep your toast concise and to the point. A good rule of thumb is to aim for around three minutes. Anything longer than five minutes will likely lead to restless guests and a derailed schedule.
- Forgetting to thank the people who matter. Whether it's the couple's parents, the wedding party, or the guests, be sure to express your gratitude for their presence and support. It is also a nice touch to thank your hosts if you are one of the speakers.
- Negativity or bringing up past relationships. A wedding toast is a celebration of the couple's love and future together, so avoid any negative topics or references to ex-partners. Keep the mood light and cheerful, focusing on the positive aspects of the couple's relationship and their journey together.
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Frequently asked questions
A wedding toast is a speech given at a wedding reception by a member of the wedding party. The speaker will typically share a story or anecdote about the couple and wish them well. At the end of the speech, the speaker will ask everyone to raise a glass and drink to the couple's happiness.
Traditionally, the father of the bride, the groom, the best man, and the maid of honour give toasts at the wedding reception. However, it is becoming more common for other members of the wedding party to give toasts, such as the mother of the bride and groom, the bride herself, or older relatives.
Wedding toasts should be kept short and sweet. Most sources recommend that toasts should be under five minutes long, with some suggesting that three minutes or less is ideal.
Wedding toasts should be light and positive. It is important to directly address both partners and highlight their bond. You can share a funny story or anecdote about the couple, but it should be something that is appropriate for everyone in the audience to hear. You can also include a quote or a poem to add a personal touch to your toast.
